Chapter 11 · Trapped by My Perfect Husband

Chapter 11

One day at dinner, I acted as if something had occurred to me."What about Lily and your Autumn?" I asked casually.Richard froze, his fork hovering in midair."The paperwork for going abroad was almost done," he said."But then something went wrong," he added.I looked up at him."What happened?" I asked.Richard looked uneasy."The day before we were supposed to leave," he said."Autumn spiked a fever of 104 degrees."He had to be rushed to the hospital.""Every time I tried to arrange for them to leave the country," he said, his voice heavy."Something always happened to Autumn," he went on.His expression grew even colder."The second time, he came down with pneumonia."The third time, it was acute gastroenteritis."The fourth time, he fell down the stairs.""I couldn't send a kid who's all banged up onto a plane," he said, his voice heavy with frustration.He rubbed his temples, looking utterly exhausted.He looked like he was at his absolute limit.He looked up at me.After a moment, he added one more thing."But it won't be much longer," he said quietly."I've already got people keeping an eye on them," he said."Once Autumn's back on his feet," he said, his voice low and determined."I'll make sure everything's cleaned up for good," he added, his tone cold and resolute.I looked at him.I gave a small smile."Autumn," I said."You call him Autumn so easily," I added."Why is he named Autumn too?" I asked."Let me guess," I said, my voice cool and a little sarcastic."That way, even if you mumble his name in your sleep,"Or blurt it out when you're drunk,"If I ask who you're talking about,"You can say you meant him," I finished, my tone icy and detached.I stared at him.I said each word, slow and deliberate."You slipped up and said the name of our dead kid, didn't you?" I asked, my voice cold as ice.He suddenly seemed to realize something.In the next instant, he dropped straight to his knees.His knees slammed hard against the floor.There was a dull thud.He looked up at me.His eyes were red.His voice shook."She ran off back then," he said, his voice trembling."Eight months later, she came looking for me, her belly so big she could barely walk, ready to give birth any day now," he added.He paused."The baby was too big, there was no way to terminate the pregnancy anymore," he whispered.His fingers were trembling as he spoke."I never wanted that child," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.I didn't say a word.He grew even more panicked."I was scared I'd let something slip and you'd catch on," he said, his voice trembling."That's why I picked the name Autumn," he added, barely above a whisper.His voice was hoarse."If I ever let it slip," he whispered."I could say it was the name of our future child," he added, his voice shaking.He stared at me, desperate and vulnerable.His eyes were raw with emotion, rimmed red.His voice trembled as he said, "And then you got pregnant.""I was honestly so happy," he whispered, his voice growing soft.His voice suddenly grew softer, as if he was getting vulnerable.It was like he was grasping at the only thing that could justify himself."But back then you were so skinny, always busy with school," he said, his voice trembling."The doctor said it was really risky," he murmured."I was scared," he whispered, his voice trembling.His voice started to break."I was really scared. Lily almost died from blood loss during childbirth, they were fighting to save her for three days and nights," he said, his voice trembling."That's why I wanted you to end the pregnancy," he whispered, barely able to get the words out."Then we argued, and you got hurt," he said, his voice shaking."That night," he began, his voice trailing off.His eyes glazed over for a second."I really hate this world," he said, his voice full of bitterness.He suddenly gave a bitter, twisted laugh.It was an ugly, broken sound."She showed up holding the baby," he said, his voice low and bitter."And I really put her through hell for it," he added, his voice shaking with anger and regret."I never thought she could start bleeding again six months after giving birth," he said, his voice shaking."I had no idea how much damage childbirth could do to someone," he added, his voice barely above a whisper."I didn't want you to suffer like that," he said, his voice trembling."So I had a vasectomy the very next day," he admitted softly.Richard's face was ghostly pale.His fingers clutched the carpet so hard his knuckles turned white.He looked like he might fall apart any second.He looked at me, desperation written all over his face.I started laughing, a wild, almost hysterical laugh."So the night I lost Autumn, you slept with Lily?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm."Where was it? Don't tell me it was right next to my hospital bed. Seriously, you two really went all out." I sneered."No, it was in the men's restroom. I wanted to make her suffer, I swear," he said, his voice shaking.I laughed, clutching my stomach, unable to stop. God, what a filthy bastard.I felt a wave of nausea hit me, my stomach turning over."Julia," he said, his voice trembling."Don't do this," he pleaded.I didn't say a word."What do you want me to do?" he asked, his voice trembling."Just tell me," he pleaded, desperation in his eyes."I've done everything I could," he said, his voice trembling.I couldn't stop laughing, and then suddenly, a warm gush spread between my legs. My light pajamas were soaked through with a glaring red, so bright it was impossible to ignore.

Chapter 11