Chapter 1
I was cramming for the SATs when a stream of comments suddenly started sliding across my vision.
[Why is Paisley studying? Isn't it Albert's birthday?]
[She should wrap herself up and be his present—his coming-of-age gift.]
I picked up my phone, perfectly calm.
[She remembered. Call Albert.]
[Tell him to wait. She's bringing the "gift."]
[She finally gets it.]
Then, the doorbell rang.
The comments went wild.
[It's Albert. He came to pick up his present himself.]
[They're finally in sync.]
[This is so sweet.]
I leaned in and checked the peephole.
It was him, exactly who I expected.
And without hesitation, I called the police.
*****
"Paisley, open up." Albert's voice outside was syrupy, laced with a grin. "It's my birthday today. Why didn't you come celebrate with me? I was gonna show you off to my friends."
The knocking kept getting louder and louder.
The comments went wild.
[What on earth is Paisley doing?]
[Has she lost her mind?]
[Come on, open the door already. Albert's about to lose it.]
I was not crazy,
"Ma'am, please don't hang up. We're sending officers right away," the dispatcher said.
I stared hard at the door, the dispatcher's voice still in my ear.
Suddenly, the screen on the electronic lock flickered.
The battery died, and the door automatically opened.
Three guys were standing outside.
At the front was Albert Parry—the "male lead" everyone in the comments couldn't stop talking about.
He was decked out in designer streetwear, hair stiff with gel, holding a droopy bouquet of roses, and putting on his best lovesick face.
The guys behind him were peeking over his shoulder, checking me out.
"Paisley, surprised?" Albert called out with a cocky tilt of his chin. "I knew you were home. Why didn't you open the door for me?"
I didn't say a word.
The comments exploded.
[The door just opened by itself. Paisley, make your move.]
[Albert showed up in person. I'm losing it.]
[Wait, what's that she's holding...?]
[An iron bar?]
Yep, I really did grab that metal bar by the door.
I'd been practicing combat arts for eight years straight, from grade school all the way to senior year.
Albert saw the metal bar in my hand, froze for a second, and then grinned. "Paisley, come on, don't mess around. It's my birthday. Put that down, I'll take you out.—"
Before he could finish, I swung the bar at him with all my strength.
He howled in pain, the roses dropping to the floor as he doubled over.
The comments went dead silent for a split second, then exploded:
[Holy crap, she actually hit him.]
[Paisley, why are you hitting Albert? He's your canon couple.]
[Wait, this isn't how the story's supposed to go, is it?]
The guys behind Albert finally snapped out of it, and one of them, cursing under his breath, stepped forward. "Lady, are you nuts or what?"
I swung the bar with a quick flick, smacking him right in the calf.
He let out a yelp and jumped back, crashing into the guys behind him. All three toppled over in a messy pile, like a bunch of dominoes.
Sirens wailed in the distance.
Albert's face went ghostly pale, and he spun around, trying to make a run for it.
I cracked him behind the knee with the bar, and he collapsed right down.
"Don't even think about leaving," I said. "The cops are almost here. Not a single one of you is getting out of here."
The police car pulled up downstairs, its red and blue lights flashing.
A couple of uniformed cops rushed up the stairs. When they took in the chaos—and the metal bar in my hand—they stopped, looking a bit stunned.
"Did you call this in?" the lead female officer asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"And these guys..." the officer started.
"They showed up at my door in the middle of the night," I said. "Three of them, breaking and entering."
Albert was hauled to his feet by two cops, wincing in pain, but still yelling at the top of his lungs, "Hey, officer, it's all a misunderstanding. I'm her boyfriend. We were just messing around."
The officer turned to me. ",Miss, do you know him?"
"Yeah, I know him," I said.
The comments blew up.
[See? She knows him. Total misunderstanding.]
[Paisley, say something already.]
[Quit fooling around or Albert's gonna get pissed and ditch you.]
I paused for a second, then continued, "He's my old elementary school classmate. The biggest troublemaker in the whole school.
"He started messing with girls way back—slapping their butts, pulling their braids, shoving bugs in their backpacks.
"Later, he got mixed up with a rough crowd, smoking, drinking, fighting, ditching class—you name it, he's done it."
Albert's face turned ghostly pale.
"What... what the hell are you talking about?" he stammered.
"Did I get anything wrong?" I looked him dead in the eye. "Remember when you were ten and smacked my butt on the playground? Or did you forget?"
The officer's brows knitted together.
Albert blurted out, "That was when we were kids. But now we're—"
"Now?" I cut him off. "Now you're eighteen, an adult. You show up at my door in the middle of the night with three guys. How is that even fine?"
The guys behind him shrank away, pulling their necks back nervously.
The comments went dead silent.
I kept going, "He claims he's my boyfriend, but officers, you can check. From grade school to senior year, I never said more than a word to him. He bothered me, I fought back. Simple as that."
That night, I was at the police station giving my statement until one in the morning.