Chapter 1

The pressure from the college entrance exams was suffocating.

I went to Lily Lewis and Ethan Holt, my best friend and childhood sweetheart, hoping they'd help me feel better.

But weirdly, the two who were always available just couldn't be reached this time, until I accidentally walked into the lab supply room.

And then I heard Ethan's voice, sounding desperate.

"Hey, don't cry. I came running to you first. What else do you want from me?" Ethan pleaded.

Lily shot back, "So what? You're still her boyfriend."

My heart, which had been full of joy, felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over me.

So, was this really how it ended for me, losing both my love and my best friend on the very last day of senior year?

*****

On the day of the college entrance exams, Ethan wouldn't stop texting me.

Ethan: [Claire, are you up yet? Don't be late.]

Ethan: [Claire, are you here? I still can't see you.]

His anxiety was obvious in every message.

Lily grabbed Ethan's phone and sent the last message herself.

Lily: [Claire, if you don't show up soon, your boyfriend's about to lose his mind.]

I turned off my phone and gave a bitter, mocking smile.

What was the point of all this fake stuff?

Truth was, I'd been there for a while, watching them joke around from a distance.

I couldn't hear what Ethan whispered in Lily's ear.

Lily blushed and gave him a playful punch, which Ethan caught without missing a beat.

Ethan reached out and gave her cheek a playful pinch.

Fighting back the urge to cry, I clenched my fists and forced myself to look away.

Seriously, how clueless was I? It was right in front of me this whole time, and I never noticed.

But if they really liked each other, why couldn't they just come clean?

It was not like I would've stood in their way.

After the first exam, Ethan sent me a location.

Ethan: [Claire, I've picked out a place. Come join your man for lunch.]

Lily's message popped up right after.

Lily: [Hurry up, hurry up! Your boyfriend and I are about to starve.]

Back then, I would've dropped everything and run straight over, terrified they'd go hungry if I was even a second late.

But this time, I just turned off my phone without a second thought.

Then I headed off to grab my favorite salmon fried rice.

Ever since Lily came between me and Ethan, I hadn't had seafood in ages.

Lily hated seafood, and Ethan was allergic, so it was always two against one. I had no choice but to settle for hotpot with them, even though hotpot was never really my thing.

I almost forgot Ethan used to take allergy meds just to eat a few bites of seafood with me, even though he was allergic.

But those days were long gone now.

The owner came over, all smiles.

"Hey there, kiddo, haven't seen you in ages," he said.

I smiled back. "Yeah, been swamped with school lately."

He glanced around. "Your boyfriend not with you today?"

I froze for a moment.

Of course, he was talking about Ethan.

"We broke up. Guess I'll be coming alone from now on," I replied.

The owner didn't say a word, just quietly went and brought me a bowl of seafood soup.

"If a relationship ever makes you feel uncomfortable, don't make yourself suffer. That means it's not the right one for you," he said.

I took a sip of the soup; the taste was so familiar and delicious.

I knew all the reasons, but why did it still hurt so much?

On my way back, I spotted a couple snuggled up together in the distance.

The girl seemed to be wiping away tears.

The guy had his arm around her, trying to comfort her, but he looked completely at a loss.

"Hey, sweetheart, I'm begging you, please stop crying, alright?" he pleaded.

"We've only gotten through two tests. If you keep crying like this, it's gonna mess up your scores for the rest."

The girl's sobs grew even louder. "This is all your fault. Why did you only pray for Claire for good luck and not for me?

"My grades were already bad, and now there's no way I'll get into the same university as you two."

I stopped in my tracks, finally realizing who was up ahead.

The guy pleaded, "Alright, alright, I'm sorry, okay?"

I glanced down at the red string on my wrist, the lucky charm Ethan had gone all the way to get for me before the exams.

He said it would bring me good luck, and got one for each of us.

I took it off and tossed it into the trash can nearby.

Honestly, I never believed in that stuff. I only kept it because it was from Ethan, and that alone made me happy for ages.

Ethan was totally at a loss, not knowing what to do as Lily kept crying.

Then he turned and spotted me, and his eyes suddenly lit up.

"Claire," he called out.

I froze for a second, and before I knew it, he'd already pushed Lily aside and was running straight toward me.

"Why didn't you reply to my messages? I was freaking out, thought you were gonna be late," he said.