Chapter 5
When I woke up again, Ryan looked even more disheveled than the first time.
His black shirt was wrinkled, his arms and shoulders wrapped in bandages, and his eyes were bloodshot.
The silver lighter sat by the bed.
He'd wiped it clean, like nothing had ever happened.
As soon as I moved my fingers, he said, "I called the doctor.
"You're not in your right mind right now.
"Once you're better, I'll have someone watch you."
"And what if the doctor says I'm perfectly sane?" I asked.
Ryan's voice was cold. "No sane person tries to die twice in one night."
I laughed. "So my pain is an act.
"So wanting to die means I'm crazy.
"Ryan, to you, nothing about me is real."
His expression shifted, but he quickly masked it. "What exactly did Alex do to you?
"Is it really worth ending up like this over a man?"
"It's not just him."
Ryan's fingers stilled for a moment. "Then who else?"
I asked softly, "Don't you know?"
Ryan avoided my gaze.
Just then, Elsie's call came through again.
Leo stood at the door and whispered, "Mr. Chase, Ms. White won't stop crying. Filming's on hold, and the investors are waiting on you.
"Also, the base needs a family member to sign off on some documents."
Ryan didn't answer right away.
The phone kept buzzing insistently by the door, like a hand slowly pulling him away from me.
Soon, he stood up. "I'll have your brother come pick you up.
"You can't stay at Chase Studios' set or base anymore."
I gave a small laugh. "Are you afraid I'll commit suicide again? Or are you afraid I'll mess up Elsie's shoot?"
Ryan's expression darkened. "Evelyn, don't assume everyone is that corrupt."
"But what you guys have done isn't exactly clean either."
He didn't say anything else.
He turned to Leo and said, "Call her brother and have him come handle the paperwork.
"From now on, don't let anything about her stay with Chase Studios."
I lowered my gaze.
By the door, a nurse was about to take down the movie poster from the wall.
It was the promotional poster for The Pure Ones.
On the poster, Elsie stood by the lake in a white dress, tears streaming down her face.
The lighting bathed her in a gentle white glow.
"Mr. Chase, there's really no need to take it down," I said.
Ryan paused.
I smiled. "You really nailed it.
"Ms. White looks so pure on camera."
His back went rigid, and his fingers pressed against the doorframe, his knuckles turning white.
After a long pause, he finally said, "Take it down."
The nurse tore the poster off the wall.
The tape peeled away with a faint tearing sound.
Ryan didn't look back. He quietly added, "Make the lights in the room warmer, and don't pull the curtains all the way closed. She's afraid of the dark."
Leo nodded quietly.
I lay in bed, staring at the leftover adhesive marks on the wall.
Ryan remembered that I was afraid of the dark and hated glaring lights.
He also knew I couldn't handle the roar of planes taking off.
But did he remember why I was afraid of all these things?
*****
Half an hour later, Leo came in with a form to sign.
On it were the words: Next‑of‑kin Acceptance.
He held the pen for what felt like ages, and then finally scribbled in the remarks: [Notify Benjamin Lake.]
When Ryan said he'd call my brother, I froze for a second.
In this world, I never had a real brother.
Benjamin was the Lake family's adopted eldest son, six years older than me. He eventually became the heir to Lake Group.
People said he was the most exclusive dinner invitation in town, and the hands everyone wanted, no matter the price.
But back when I was growing up, he was just the boy who'd quietly cook spaghetti for me at midnight.
Back then, I'd be filming until the early hours. My stomach would ache so badly that I'd end up crouched by the side of the road.
He'd come out of the convenience store with a bottle of hot milk in hand, shooting me a worried look. "Why aren't you eating again?"
I'd say, "Actors have to stay thin."
He'd crack open the bottle and shove it at me. "Make sure you survive first before you worry about looking good."
At that time, the System said, "Benjamin is starting to see you as family."
For the first time, I thought maybe this world wasn't so bad after all.
After the first two people didn't choose me, I finally realized I wasn't just waiting for someone to love me.
With Benjamin, what I was waiting for was family.
He was the kind of person who, no matter how much Elsie cried, would still choose to trust me one more time.
But now, when he pushed open the door to my ward, saw the bandages on my wrists, the scrape on my forehead, and the hospital gown I hadn't changed out of, the first thing he said was, "Evelyn, are you done making a scene?"
He still carried the scent of the kitchen with him.
Caramel, roasted chestnuts, and a hint of fir.
His black coat was draped over his arm, shirt sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and he was carrying a silver thermos.
I stared at that thermos for a long time.
When my stomach was bad, he'd always bring me soup in it.
But after Elsie came back, I hardly ever saw that thermos again.
Benjamin set the thermos down by my bed. "Ryan said you got into trouble twice last night. Once in the lake, once on the runway."
I said, "I didn't get into trouble."
He looked up, his tone flat. "So what was it then? Were you trying to make everyone notice you by risking your life?"
The System whispered, "Host, he might have misunderstood you."
I didn't respond.
Benjamin ladled out a bowl of chicken soup.
Its color was soft and warm, with a hint of golden oil glistening on the surface.
I used to love this the most.
It was mild, and it kept my stomach warm for ages.
He held the spoon to my lips. "Have some."
I turned my face away.
His hand froze in midair. "Evelyn."
He used to call me like this years ago.
The first time I had to shoot an explosion scene, I was so terrified that I locked myself in the bathroom on set and wouldn't come out no matter what.
Benjamin knocked on the door for ages, never pushing me, just saying, "Evelyn, open up. I promise I won't laugh at you."
Later, he took me out for a bowl of hot soup.
That night, he said, "If you ever get scared again, come to me."