Chapter 4

I was Edward's wife. If I didn't care for him, who would? I volunteered to move back to his old house in the countryside with his mom.

We'd figure out the rest after the baby was born.

That night, Edward took me and his mom to the countryside.

On the train, he couldn't bear to let me go. He held my hand tightly, repeating over and over, "Once my job is more stable, and I get a place or rent an apartment, I'll bring you back to Brighton right away."

That was the first time I ever saw his eyes rimmed with tears.

For three whole days on the train, he was like a little kid.

He held my hand almost the entire time, as if letting go would mean losing me forever.

After that, I moved out to the countryside, and we were separated by hundreds of miles.

He missed me, but it was hard for him to make the trip back to visit.

So every month, he'd write me these long, heartfelt letters, pages and pages of them.

He'd tell me everything—who got promoted at work, which kid tripped on the street—as if he couldn't wait to share every little detail of his life with me.

He'd send me the first golden maple leaf of autumn, or a little keepsake from a seminar.

He'd stuff the envelope with as much as it could hold, always trying to send me a little bit of everything from his life.

But even that wasn't enough for him—he went so far as to learn how to sketch.

His drawings were rough and shaky, but he'd try to sketch anything he found interesting and mail it to me.

I often thought that back then, he really did love me.

Over the years, I gave birth to Lucas and raised him as he grew up.

Meanwhile, I worked at the rural clinic, helping the locals.

When Lucas was finally old enough for school, I wanted to bring him with me to Brighton.

But then, May suddenly had a stroke and was left bedridden, barely able to move—she was just a shell of herself.

Edward rushed back from Brighton to be with me.

"Maybe we should wait a little longer.

"I'll take Lucas to Brighton for school, but my mom needs someone here to look after her. She can't handle such a long trip anymore.

"Claire, let me try to find a way."

That night, I sat under the dim glow of the lamp, watching him.

Suddenly, he looked almost like a stranger to me.

We'd been apart for years, and he could barely make it back once a year.

The train ride was endless, and even when he managed to come home, he could only stay for a couple of days at most.

It hit me—we had almost nothing left to talk about.

It felt like ages since I'd last received a letter from him.

That was the first time we ever argued.

He tried to hug me, but I pushed him away, hard.

He frowned, looking disappointed. "Claire, it hasn't been easy for me either."

He took Lucas to Brighton.

After that, he made a point of still writing to me, even if it felt a bit forced.

But I could see it—his letters grew shorter, and the words felt more and more like a formality.

Lucas, after moving to Brighton, was becoming more accomplished by the day.

Whenever he managed to come home, the son who used to chatter endlessly with me now hardly talked to me at all.

My mental state was really starting to fall apart.

I thought about just leaving so many times, but I just couldn't leave his sick mother behind.

And I couldn't bear to walk away from the sick, poor neighbors who depended on me.

It wasn't until Lucas's tenth birthday that I finally reached my breaking point.

I couldn't take it anymore. I left May with a neighbor, hopped on the train by myself, just wanting to see Lucas for his birthday.

After a long, exhausting journey to Brighton, I showed up looking completely worn out and disheveled.

And right then, I happened to catch Grace walking out of the school gates, holding onto Edward's arm.

In that moment, it felt like the string I'd been holding onto for years just snapped inside my mind.

I snapped—I stormed up and slapped Edward hard across the face, then, without thinking, turned and smacked Grace too.

It was only after that when Edward, furious, started shouting his explanation.

He said Grace had suddenly gotten a migraine and nearly collapsed, so he was just helping her walk.

That was the first time Edward and I ever had a huge fight.

After that, there was never any peace between us again.

Looking back now... I really should have left a long time ago.

By the time I snapped out of my thoughts, I realized I was already inside the staff apartments building.

Edward and Grace were walking ahead of me.

I was lost in my own thoughts, walking slowly, and got left behind. Edward and Grace were chatting about something—probably school stuff—and didn't even notice me.

Just then, a man came out and greeted them with a smile.

"Grace, you're here with Professor Nash again?"

Edward looked like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on, snapping back in annoyance.

"Ms. Turner is here to see Carlos," he said.

The man looked taken aback for a moment.

He finally noticed me hanging back and gave an awkward chuckle.

"Hey, someone from back home! Just joking. Don't mind it."

He quickly made his exit.

Edward turned around, frowning as he saw how far behind I was. "Can't you walk any faster?"

I replied coolly, "Don't worry about me. I just need you to sign something, then I'll be on my way."

Grace's eyes lit up with curiosity.

"Claire, what do you need him to sign? Need a hand with anything?" she asked.

Edward's face darkened, barely keeping his temper in check as he glanced sideways at Grace.

"Go do your thing. Carlos should be home," he said.

Grace nodded, shot me a smile, and headed off.

I walked over at my own pace, not in any hurry.

At this point, I didn't even feel like arguing with Edward anymore.

I honestly didn't think I'd done anything to upset him.

But Edward just stared at me, his eyes burning with even more anger.

Before I could even reach him, he strode over, grabbed my hand, and pulled me straight inside.

There were plenty of teachers coming and going in the staff apartments, so I couldn't help but remind him, "People are going to talk if you keep this up."

Edward's grip tightened, his fingers digging into my wrist until it hurt.

The veins on the back of his hand stood out, and I had no idea where all that anger was coming from.

"So what if they talk? Claire, we're legally married. What are we afraid of?" he snapped.

I gave a short, sarcastic laugh—I just couldn't hold it in.

Back then, he never would've talked like this.

Edward lowered his gaze, staring at me hard, his face flickering with all kinds of emotions.

"What's so funny? What's there to laugh at?" he snapped.

We stepped into his room.

The place was simple and tidy—just a bed and a desk, nothing else.

Everything was done up in muted shades of black, white, and gray.

The only thing that really caught the eye was a handful of music books and a pale yellow silk scarf laid out on the desk.

Edward clearly noticed them too.

He feigned surprise, quickly moving the items to the side.

After a long, awkward silence, he finally offered an explanation, sounding overly deliberate.

"Probably... someone accidentally left their things here after coming into the wrong room," he said.

I'm pretty sure I've seen Grace wear that scarf before.

And those books? Grace teaches music.

After all these years drifting apart with Edward, whatever love we once had had long since faded away.

All that remained was a trace of lingering affection—a shared history from years of marriage and raising a child together.

But now, even that was drained away. There was nothing left at all.

I looked at that delicate, dainty scarf, thinking I'd finally let go of everything.

But right then, my eyes burned a little.

Fifteen years.

And this was the first time I'd ever set foot in this staff apartment.

I blinked, clearing the mist from my eyes.

When I opened them again, it felt like the last ripple in my heart had faded away, leaving only absolute stillness.

It was truly over. Nothing left, nothing more.

I pulled out the divorce agreement I'd already prepared, along with a bankbook, and placed them on Edward's desk.