Chapter 2 · The White Wolf Walks Alone

For the next week, Dorian didn't come back to the main house.

Three posts a day popped up on the Pack Bulletin Board: [Alpha is out patrolling the territory with Isolde, the new ritual leader.]

When the aurora was lighting up the northern border, Isolde said she wanted to see it.

Dorian rearranged the whole patrol schedule, making them detour two hundred miles out of the way.

Three years ago, I begged him once.

Back then, Nyx was starting to sleep. I combed through every apothecary book I could find, and the only thing that might help was a moonlight bath at Silver Spring, but it needed my mate there for Spirit Channeling.

I asked Dorian to spend the night with me at the spring.

He said pack business was more important.

So I went alone.

I stayed in the spring until dawn, the water freezing around me, but Nyx didn't stir at all.

*****

For the whole week, I was holding down the apothecary all by myself.

The north wing really didn't have a fireplace.

I shoved the brazier under the medicine shelves and had to get up three times a night to toss in more charcoal, so the herbs wouldn't get soggy.

On the third day, two warriors were brought back from the border, both injured by a rogue.

Their wounds were blackened, the claw marks poisoned, and one of them was already rambling nonsense.

I spent the whole night applying Purifying Flame Grass and changing the bandages layer after layer. My fingers burned pale from the poison eating into my skin.

By dawn, both of them had broken their fevers.

Rowan leaned against the doorframe, watching me for a while before saying, "Luna, Isolde's ceremonial robe is about three finger-widths too long. You're handy with a needle, right? Mind fixing it up for her?"

I pulled off my blood-soaked gloves and tossed them into the basin.

"I'm patching someone up right now," I said.

"Then I'll wait until you're done," he replied.

With that, he walked off, his steps light and quick.

On the fifth day, Ivette's reply came through.

Ivette: [There's a place for you in the north.

[But you know the Pack Law better than I do. The Initiates have to leave their pack for three years, and the application needs to go to the Council of Elders before the Full Moon Ritual.

[You'll also need Luna's Moonstone Seal and a co-sign from an Elder.]

I had the Moonstone Seal.

Getting an Elder to co-sign was the tough part.

I went to Elder Maren Ashley's cabin.

She was spreading out herbs to dry, one at a time. After I finished talking, she stopped, hands still for ages.

"Have you made up your mind?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Once you leave as an Initiate, you'll be gone for three years. And when you come back, you won't mean anything to this pack."

"I'm already nothing here."

Maren looked up at me.

Her gaze was odd, as if she wanted to say something but bit her words back.

Finally, she pressed her thumbprint at the end of the parchment.

It left a heavy, blood-red mark.

"Pup," she said, "some debts cut the deepest because the ones who owe them never realize it."

I didn't really understand.

I tucked the parchment close to my heart, gave her a nod of thanks, and turned to leave.

As I reached the door, she called out to me from behind.

"Wren, your mother came here once, asking me to press my thumbprint on the parchment.

"Once she did, she walked away and never returned," she said.

I walked away without looking back.

On the seventh night, I slept on a pile of hay in the north wing.

At three in the morning, the pain hit.

It wasn't from any wound.

It came from my chest, tearing open the bite mark Dorian had left on me five years ago.

I tumbled off the hay pile, my knees slamming hard against the floor.

My fingers clawed at the cracks in the wood until they were raw and bleeding.

I couldn't make a sound.

I knew this kind of pain.

It was in my Healer's textbook, and there was only a single line.

It said, [When someone betrays the mating bond physically, the one who's betrayed will surely feel it.]

I lay there on the floor, gasping for breath, my clothes drenched in cold sweat. The brazier was a few steps away, but I couldn't drag myself closer.

Moonlight sliced through the window crack, falling right across the back of my hand, which was all torn up from clawing.

So I wasn't mistaken about the scent.

And Isolde wasn't just staying for a bit as Dorian had said.

Chapter 2

For the next week, Dorian didn't come back to the main house.

Three posts a day popped up on the Pack Bulletin Board: [Alpha is out patrolling the territory with Isolde, the new ritual leader.]

When the aurora was lighting up the northern border, Isolde said she wanted to see it.

Dorian rearranged the whole patrol schedule, making them detour two hundred miles out of the way.

Three years ago, I begged him once.

I asked Dorian to spend the night with me at the spring.

He said pack business was more important.

So I went alone.

I stayed in the spring until dawn, the water freezing around me, but Nyx didn't stir at all.

*****

For the whole week, I was holding down the apothecary all by myself.

The north wing really didn't have a fireplace.

I shoved the brazier under the medicine shelves and had to get up three times a night to toss in more charcoal, so the herbs wouldn't get soggy.

On the third day, two warriors were brought back from the border, both injured by a rogue.

Their wounds were blackened, the claw marks poisoned, and one of them was already rambling nonsense.

I spent the whole night applying Purifying Flame Grass and changing the bandages layer after layer. My fingers burned pale from the poison eating into my skin.

By dawn, both of them had broken their fevers.

I pulled off my blood-soaked gloves and tossed them into the basin.

"I'm patching someone up right now," I said.

"Then I'll wait until you're done," he replied.

With that, he walked off, his steps light and quick.

On the fifth day, Ivette's reply came through.

Ivette: [There's a place for you in the north.

[But you know the Pack Law better than I do. The Initiates have to leave their pack for three years, and the application needs to go to the Council of Elders before the Full Moon Ritual.

[You'll also need Luna's Moonstone Seal and a co-sign from an Elder.]

I had the Moonstone Seal.

Getting an Elder to co-sign was the tough part.

I went to Elder Maren Ashley's cabin.

She was spreading out herbs to dry, one at a time. After I finished talking, she stopped, hands still for ages.

"Have you made up your mind?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Once you leave as an Initiate, you'll be gone for three years. And when you come back, you won't mean anything to this pack."

"I'm already nothing here."

Maren looked up at me.

Her gaze was odd, as if she wanted to say something but bit her words back.

Finally, she pressed her thumbprint at the end of the parchment.

It left a heavy, blood-red mark.

"Pup," she said, "some debts cut the deepest because the ones who owe them never realize it."

I didn't really understand.

I tucked the parchment close to my heart, gave her a nod of thanks, and turned to leave.

As I reached the door, she called out to me from behind.

"Wren, your mother came here once, asking me to press my thumbprint on the parchment.

"Once she did, she walked away and never returned," she said.

I walked away without looking back.

On the seventh night, I slept on a pile of hay in the north wing.

At three in the morning, the pain hit.

It wasn't from any wound.

It came from my chest, tearing open the bite mark Dorian had left on me five years ago.

I tumbled off the hay pile, my knees slamming hard against the floor.

My fingers clawed at the cracks in the wood until they were raw and bleeding.

I couldn't make a sound.

I knew this kind of pain.

It was in my Healer's textbook, and there was only a single line.

It said, [When someone betrays the mating bond physically, the one who's betrayed will surely feel it.]

I lay there on the floor, gasping for breath, my clothes drenched in cold sweat. The brazier was a few steps away, but I couldn't drag myself closer.

Moonlight sliced through the window crack, falling right across the back of my hand, which was all torn up from clawing.

So I wasn't mistaken about the scent.

And Isolde wasn't just staying for a bit as Dorian had said.