Chapter 3

Amy and Luna stayed for three days, and I felt uneasy the whole time.

Even when I was clearing out the room they'd just left, I still hadn't gotten a message from my parents.

I let out a self-mocking laugh. At my age, I should have known better than to mistake polite words for genuine concern.

Back when Amy ran into Nancy on the street, she called my parents right away.

She said, "Nancy is so pretty. How could you let her go out alone? You should watch out for her more often. What if someone snatches her?"

But when it came to me, it was always just "later" or "next time."

When I was little, I used to look forward to it. Later, I thought I'd grown used to it. But right then, I realized I still had hope.

Before I knew it, the Carnival had arrived.

I overheard guests at the front desk settling their bills, chatting about heading home for the festivities and a big family meal.

I stopped what I was doing and, gathering my courage, decided to call my dad.

After a long stretch of ringing, no one answered.

I tried a second time, then a third, but still no answer.

Just as I was about to give up, my hand almost automatically hit the call button for the fourth time.

The call went through this time.

I didn't even get the chance to call out "Dad" before my dad's voice came through, cold and businesslike.

He said, "Hello, happy Carnival. I'm spending today with my family. If you need anything, reach out after the Carnival."

He hung up the next second.

As the busy tone echoed in my ear, it hit me: he thought I was just another vendor calling about work.

My parents would never mix up a call from Peter or Nancy.

They even set special ringtones for them, and in my mom and dad's phones, their names showed up as "My Sweet Boy" and "My Sweet Girl."

I glanced down and opened up my social media. Peter had just posted something new.

As I scrolled through his photos, I saw everything they'd been up to this Christmas.

There were shots of the whole family carving the turkey, posing for a group photo, exchanging gifts, and watching a movie together.

And today, they were wandering around the Carnival grounds.

I could totally picture it. Peter would be winning every game at the Carnival, and he'd hand his biggest prize to Nancy, so she could hang it on her bedroom door.

I was part of their family, too.

But right now, I felt like a thief, secretly watching their happiness from the shadows.

Never before had I felt so unnecessary, so out of place.

"Hey, girl, can you clean up this room?" a guest called out from behind me.

I wiped my face with the back of my hand, sniffed, and forced myself to hold it together.

"Coming!" I said.

I understood there was really no one to blame.

Guess I was just born ordinary. Nothing about me ever stood out, nothing worth remembering.

When my shift finally ended, I hid away in my room, swallowing down a wave of hurt.

There was a gentle knock, and Emily stepped inside, carrying a steaming mug of hot cider.

She set the mug down and said, "School's starting soon, right? You've really done well these days. Here's your pay. Don't forget to buy your ticket back."

Then she pressed a thick envelope into my hands.

I took it, feeling a bit stunned, and squeezed it. It was definitely more than just a grand in there.

I quickly opened the envelope, ready to return the extra money.

But Emily gently held my hand and said, "Just think of it as me making up for the regrets I had when I was young.

"I wanted to run away from home so many times, but I never dared to spend so much time on my own, as you have."

The envelope felt like it was burning in my hand.

In the end, I kept it.

As soon as the Carnival was over, it was time for school to start again.

I didn't bother going home. I went straight from the inn to the train station.

When I got back to my dorm, I'd just finished making my bed when my phone started ringing.

It was my mom calling.

My mind went completely blank, yet it felt like a million thoughts were crashing around inside.

I didn't know whether to confront her, pour out my feelings, or pretend nothing had happened.

The phone buzzed against the sheets, my finger hovering over the answer button. After a deep breath, I finally swiped to pick up.

I pressed the phone to my ear.

There was nothing but dead silence on the other end.

I was all alone in the dorm, and the only thing I could hear was my own faint breathing echoing in my ears.