Chapter 1

I died three days before the SATs.

The moment I was sent flying by that truck, all I could think about was the mock test results of my little sister, Sophia Harper.

When I opened my eyes again, I realized I had gone back to six months ago.

"Emily, I did worse on the monthly exam again. Can you help me with math?" Sophia stood at my door, clutching her test papers, her eyes all red and puffy.

I just stared at her for a long time in silence until she finally looked down, clearly feeling awkward.

Back then, in my previous life, I would have agreed right away—no questions asked. I'd stay up late every night tutoring her, barely leaving any time for my own revision.

But in the end, the guaranteed spot at Stanford University went to her.

"No," I replied coldly, shutting her down without hesitation.

Sophia froze, staring at me in disbelief. "W-What did you just say?"

"I said no. I have to get ready for the SATs too. I don't have time to help you out," I said, shifting my focus back to my book.

But out of the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of anger in hers.

Sophia bit her lip. "Emily, you already have that guaranteed spot. Why can't you help me out? We're sisters, aren't we?"

I rolled my eyes inwardly. Seriously? How dare she mention that?

In my previous life, I was so gullible. I actually believed my parents when they said the guaranteed spot was just an empty title, and that the real deal was the SATs. So I willingly gave up my chance and poured all my time into helping Sophia with her studies.

In the end, she took my guaranteed spot, and I ended up dying in an unexpected accident right before the exam.

"The guaranteed spot is mine. What does that have to do with you?" I snapped my book shut and stared her straight in the eyes.

Sophia's face turned crimson. "Emily, how can you be so selfish?"

"Selfish?" I let out a sneer. "Then what do you call it when you ask me for help?"

She was left speechless, her eyes brimming with tears as she ran out of the room.

Not long after, my mom, Linda Harper, rushed upstairs.

"Emily, how could you say no to your sister? Her grades have always been worse than yours—as her big sister, you should help her out," she scolded.

I looked at the woman in front of me, her face full of blame, and couldn't help but feel a wave of bitter irony.

In my past life, it was her endless guilt-tripping that pushed me to give up my own future bit by bit.

"Mom, I have to get ready for the SATs, too. It's not my job to tutor anyone," I said firmly.

"You already have a guaranteed spot. Why are you even bothering with the exam?" Linda frowned. "And what if your sister can't get into a good college because of her poor grades?"

"That's on her," I replied coldly.

Linda's face twisted with anger. "Emily, is that how you talk? She's your sister!"

"So what? Just because she's my sister, I have to sacrifice myself for her?" I shot back.

"You're both my daughters, of course I want you both to do well. But Sophia needs more help than you. As her older sister, you should learn to give way," Linda said.

Those words stabbed into my heart like a knife.

In my past life, I only cared about the others' needs and ignored my own, so much that I ended up giving away my own life.

"Mom, I'm tired. I need to rest," I said, getting up and heading for the door.

Linda grabbed my arm. "Emily, what's wrong with you? Why are you suddenly so cold?"

I turned back to her, my tone extremely calm. "Maybe I just grew up."

I brushed her hand off and walked out of the room, her frantic voice chasing after me. "Emily, get back here right now!"

But I didn't look back.

On my way downstairs, I happened to run into my dad, David Harper, who had just come home.

"Emily, what's going on? I heard your mom yelling for you upstairs," he said.

"It's nothing," I replied.

David nodded, about to head upstairs, but then he turned back. "Oh, by the way, Ms. Lee called me today. She said your guaranteed admission is all set. You need to go handle the paperwork tomorrow."

My heart skipped a beat. "Dad, is the guaranteed spot really mine? It won't go to anyone else, right?"

"Of course not. You earned it after three years of hard work. No one can take that away from you," David said, smiling as he patted my shoulder. "Finally, there's a Stanford within our family."

"No one can take it away?" I scoffed inwardly.

That wasn't what happened in my past life.

Back then, Sophia was crying and begging for the guaranteed spot, saying she needed it more than I did, and my whole family started taking turns to talk me into giving it up.

They went on about sisterly love, how I was the smart one who could get into any college anyway, and how I should be a bigger person.

In the end, Linda even threatened to disown me as her daughter if I didn't give the spot to Sophia.

Back then, I stupidly believed that as long as I worked hard enough, I could still get into Stanford through the SATs.

But reality slapped me hard in the face.

"Dad, if I gave up the guaranteed spot, could Sophia get it instead?" I asked.

David looked taken aback. "Why do you ask?"

"Just asking, you know, like a what-if."

"In theory, no. The guaranteed spot is based on your overall performance over the past three years. No one else qualifies for it," David said, frowning. "Emily, is there something on your mind?"

I shook my head. "No, just curious, that's all."

Thinking back, they must have used some shady means to get that guaranteed spot transferred in my past life.

Now that I thought about it, Sophia's sudden leap from outside the top hundred to the top ten in the grade was just plain weird.

As for me, I had foolishly trusted my family way too much.

"Dad, I want to ask you something," I said.

"Go ahead," he said.

"If Sophia and I were both drowning, who would you save first?"

David looked at me, clearly confused. "You're both my daughters—of course I'd save both of you. What a foolish question."

"What if you could only save one?" I pressed.

David was silent for a long time before finally saying, "I hope I'll never have to make that choice."

But deep down, I knew that if it ever really came to that, he'd pick Sophia without even hesitating.

Just like in my past life, when there was only one guaranteed spot, my whole family chose her over me.

Because she was better at acting cute, better at crying, and better at winning everyone's sympathy.

And me? Ever since I was little, I was taught to be sensible, to be a reliable elder sister and always put Sophia first.

Back in my room, I pulled out my phone and scrolled to a familiar number.

In my past life, I gave up my guaranteed spot because of this person.

And that person was Edgar Brooks, my childhood friend, and the only one who knew the inside story about how the guaranteed admission spot could be transferred.

He told me he had a way to transfer my spot to Sophia, but only if I personally applied to give it up.

Back then, I believed him, thinking he truly had my best interests at heart.

But now, looking back, I realize he and Sophia had been colluding from the very beginning.

Soon, Edgar answered the call.

"Emily? Why are you calling me so late?" he asked, his voice still as gentle as ever.

"Edgar, I want to ask you something," I said quietly.

"Go ahead," he said.

"If I give up my guaranteed admission, what would happen to it?" I asked.

There was a brief pause on the other end. "Why are you asking this all of a sudden? Weren't you set on taking it?"

"I just want to know," I replied.

"Normally, if you give it up, the spot just gets voided. But if there are special circumstances, like the students' family can't afford to pay the fees, the school might give it to someone else who qualifies," he said.

"Someone else who qualifies... like Sophia?" I couldn't help but scoff inwardly.

"Edgar, do you think Sophia has any shot at getting the guaranteed spot?" I asked.

"Well... technically, her grades aren't quite enough. But if you were to give it up, the school might make an exception. After all, you two are sisters, and she's been making a lot of progress lately," he replied, sounding hesitant.

As expected, he was using the exact same line.

That was what he said to convince me in my past life—always going on about how Sophia needed the chance more, and how I was so smart I could get into any college without even trying. What a joke.

"I get it." I was about to hang up.

"Emily, wait!" Edgar's voice suddenly turned anxious. "Are you actually thinking about giving up your spot?"

"No," I replied.

"Good. Getting into Stanford is most students' lifelong dream. You have to treasure it," he said.

I sneered to myself. Funny, that was not what you told me in my past life.

"Edgar, I have one last question," I said.

"Go ahead," he said.

"If I really gave up my guaranteed spot, would you support me?" I asked.

"Of course," he answered right away. "No matter what you decide, I'll always have your back."

What a hypocrite.

In my past life, when I hesitated, he was right there fanning the flames, telling me that a decent elder sister should always sacrifice herself, and that giving up my spot would make my life more meaningful.

I hung up the phone and sat at my desk, staring out at the night sky.

This time, I would only live for myself.

And as for those who hurt me before, I wouldn't let a single one of them get away with it.