Chapter 2

That night, I dodged all my neighbors and gingerly (alright, I was shaking like a leaf) stuffed Snow into an extra-large burlap sack.

I'd pre-packed it with some water and meat so it wouldn't go hungry.

I drove out to a remote forest in the countryside, a place far from civilization with dense trees, the perfect habitat for a snake.

When I arrived, I set the sack on the ground, took a deep breath, and gritted my teeth as I untied the opening. "Snow, don't hate me. I'm doing this for your own good.

"It's beautiful out here. Nobody's going to try and turn you into food anymore. You're free now. Hunt whatever you want. Don't keep thinking of me anymore."

I rambled on and on, feeling like a total heartbreaker abandoning my own kid. The second the bag opened, Snow vanished into the darkness like a bolt of lightning.

It moved fast. It seemed like it was even more eager to leave than I was.

My mind was a whirlwind of emotions. Part of me was relieved to have escaped with my life, but there was also a lingering sense of loss.

After all, I'd raised Snow for a year; it was impossible not to feel a connection. "Well," I told myself, "at least everyone's safe."

On the drive home, I cranked up the radio to some upbeat tunes, trying to shake off the complicated feelings.

*****

Once back, I took a hot shower and felt the tension melt away. Without Snow's chilly presence, the bedroom actually felt cozier.

I crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep in no time.

But my peace and quiet didn't last long.

In my sleep, I felt that cold, slick body coil around my ankle again. That sensation... it was way too familiar.

I jolted awake instantly, but my body felt like it was under a spell. I couldn't move a muscle.

That icy touch slithered upward, wrapping around my calves, my thighs, my waist, and my chest... finally, a cold snake head pressed against my cheek.

That low, clinging hiss echoed in my ear once more.

My heart was practically leaping out of my chest. This was it! It had tracked me down. It really was going to eat me.

I should have never played the hero. I shouldn't have been such a soft touch. I shouldn't have—

Just when I thought I was about to be squeezed to death or swallowed whole, a voice spoke. It was soft, laced with a hint of grievance, and strangely adorable.

"Charlie, why did you abandon me?"

I snapped my eyes open. There was no snake head. Instead, inches from me, was a face so stunning it nearly knocked the breath out of me.

Her features were a masterpiece, her skin was flawless, and her eyes held a fragile beauty that made one want to protect her.

Her long hair cascaded over my pillow like a waterfall, carrying a faint, delicate scent.

She was staring at me with tear-filled eyes, looking utterly heartbroken and confused.

Something was definitely wrapped around me, but it wasn't a snake. It was her slender arms and soft, shapely legs.

She was clinging to me like an octopus. She still carried a hint of that reptilian chill and a very faint, earthy scent of the wild.

I was completely floored. What on earth was this plot twist? A... a stunning beauty?

"Charlie... I'm not Snow. My name is Snow White now," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly as if she were terrified I'd dump her all over again.

"I... I wanted to surprise you. It took me so long to finally take human form. I just wanted to repay you, to... to devote myself to you," she choked out.

As she spoke, her tears fell, landing right on my face.

The chill of her tears snapped me back to reality. A snake demon? Repay me? Giving herself to me?

I was just a 24-year-old corporate cog who had just graduated and been single since birth. How was I supposed to handle a bombshell like this?

My head was spinning, and my entire worldview was beginning to crumble.

To make matters even more absurd, a cold, mechanical voice rang out in my mind without warning. "Congratulations, Charlie, on successfully triggering the hidden plotline, 'The love of the man and the snake that never ends.'

"You have received the starter pack, 'The Most Ridiculous Social Suicide System Ever.'"

I was speechless. Had I saved the world in a previous life, or had I destroyed it? How did I end up stuck with a 'system'?

"System binding complete. Detecting the host's first contact with the target; issuing the starter quest.

"The starter quest is to soothe the snake demon, Snow White, within 24 hours. The reward for success will be one 'Basic Social Suicide Resistance' pack, while the punishment for failure will be one random 'Social Suicide Debuff.'"

A translucent panel suddenly flickered before my eyes. It read: [Social Suicide System.]

[Host: Charlie Foster]

[Charisma: 5 (Run-of-the-mill)]

[Constitution: 7 (Sub-par corporate drone)]

[Intelligence: 8 (Just enough to get by)]

[Social Suicide Value: 0 (To be activated)]

[Current Task: Soothe Snow (Within 24 hours)]

[Punishment: Random Social Suicide Debuff]

Soothe Snow? Random social suicide debuff?

I looked at Snow, who was crying her eyes out in my arms, and then at the threatening text on the system panel. My skin began to crawl.

This snake really did want to "eat" me... but apparently not with its fangs. It wanted to devour me with "love."

What was I supposed to do? What could I even do?

I took a deep breath and forced a smile. "There, there... Snow... Don't cry. How could I ever abandon you?

"I just saw how big you'd grown and thought you'd want to live a life of total freedom in the mountains. It was all a big misunderstanding."

I tried my best to sound sincere, but even to my own ears, I sounded like a total fraud.

Snow blinked her wet eyes, tears still welling up. "But... but you left me in such a dark place, and you said all those things about not wanting me anymore..."

She looked at me with such a sad, pouty face that it could have melted a heart of stone.

I was totally screwed. Guess this is the official start of my "social suicide" life.