Chapter 4

My forehead was stitched up with more than a dozen stitches.

To save money, it was done at a small clinic just outside the neighborhood. The stitches were crooked and twisted like an ugly centipede.

"Julia, uh…" Ryder looked full of guilt, opening his mouth several times but never quite getting the words out.

Then he rummaged in his pocket and pulled out his day's wages.

I took the money, and he finally relaxed a little.

I turned around, and Dora's hawk-like eyes locked onto me. I handed all the money straight back to her.

Ryder's mouth twitched, but he didn't say a word in the end. If he really wanted to give me anything, he wouldn't have done it right in front of Dora.

Doing it openly was just because he was stingy and trying to ease his guilt. I really didn't care for that kind of "fatherly love."

Dora grew more and more hostile towards me. Before, she'd at least pretend to save me some food.

Now, she wouldn't leave me any at all and instead got a dog. She fed all the leftover food to the dog and never gave me a bite.

The dog's kennel was set up less than a meter from where I slept.

Every night, I fell asleep surrounded by the stench of dog pee and poop.

But I didn't care much. I started boarding at school in middle school, only coming home for breaks.

During the long summer and winter holidays, I worked at a nearby small shop and barely stayed at home.

When Marian and I graduated, Dora was in a great mood and generously let me sit at the table once.

"Let's celebrate Marian getting into Huatown High School. That's the second-best school in the whole city." She looked at me proudly, finally able to puff out her chest.

Marian strutted around like a proud little peacock. "Julia, where did you get in? Don't tell me you didn't make it to high school?"

Dad was happy too and didn't seem to care that I hadn't gotten in. He said, "Not everyone's as capable as Marian.

"Julia, you're old enough now to start working and making money. When your sister goes to college and lands a good job, you'll benefit too."

Dora barely held back a laugh.

Then I said suddenly, "I got in too."

Marian asked, "Where? Don't tell me it's Stuvesant High School? That trash school isn't even worth going to."

I answered, "Bronxe High School."

The best high school in the city. At that moment, the air in the Hudson household seemed to freeze.

Then Dora hired a tutor for Marian at a high price. She sneered. "If even someone like her got into Bronxe, there's no way Marian is worse."

Dora thought, 'How can I let the daughter I abandoned do better than the one I had poured all my effort into?'

In my past life, because I outperformed Marian, Dora found all kinds of reasons to punish me.

Oh, right, almost forgot — back then, I was the one tutoring Marian for free.

This time, Dora had to work extra hours just to pay the tutor. She seemed really tired, always coming home around midnight.

During my three years of high school, I watched her gray hairs multiply one by one.

But every time Marian got even a slightly decent grade, Dora would proudly show off to everyone in the neighborhood.

She poured all her energy into Marian, showing off how great motherly love was. But I no longer envied that.

Right before SAT, they came to me again.

Dora pinched Ryder's thigh several times before he awkwardly spoke. "Julia, you've seen how things are at home. We can't afford two college students."

"Afford." The word was so bitter.

I pulled out the three dollars he had ever given me and said, "This is the only financial help you've ever given me in all these years."

After that, Ryder couldn't say another word.

Angry, he stood up and yelled at Dora, "I'm done. If you want to say something, talk to her yourself."

Dora looked at me with a rare softness, almost like she felt guilty. "Fine, if you want to go, go ahead."

Dora even specially made me a plate of pasta, topped with large shrimps. She said, "Eat up and get some good sleep. You'll need the energy for the exam tomorrow."

I said nothing, took the noodles, and went to the balcony where I ate. Then, I dumped the entire bowl into the dog's food dish.

Before Dora could stop me, the little dog eagerly gulped it down. Then it lay on the floor, trembling.

Dora's face went as dark as night, her fists clenched tight.

"Second time…" I said coldly.

Dora suddenly looked up, her eyes showing a flicker of panic.

Silently, I packed my last belongings into my patched-up bag.

This home — I probably wouldn't come back anymore.

Behind me came Marian's wailing. "Mom, what did you put in the shrimp? Bobby is dying."

The same thing happened in my past life. Even though I promised I wouldn't go to college and only wanted to finish the exams, she wouldn't let me be.

That night, I threw up and had diarrhea, burning with fever and slipping into unconsciousness.

Dora told me. "You're just unlucky. Stop wishing for things that aren't meant for you. This is your fate. You have to accept it."