Chapter 2

While Francisco was busy showering in the bathroom, I slipped back into the bedroom alone and started rummaging through drawers and boxes.

Finally, I unearthed my college graduation photo from the very bottom of a dusty pile.

In the photo, there was a girl with a high ponytail, her eyes curved in laughter and her entire vibe screaming innocent and a bit clueless.

Off to the side, a younger Francisco stood there.

He wore a black jacket so faded that it was nearly gray. He stood tall, still with that slightly awkward, fresh-faced look.

I remembered that time when he couldn't swing the tuition and just hid in his dorm, he wouldn't let anyone in.

I bit the bullet and called home, telling my mom that I needed extra cash for a coding course.

That was how I barely scraped together enough and pressed it into his hands.

Later, I ended up pregnant by accident, dropped out, and got married.

My parents were so pissed that they slammed down the phone and called me totally love-drunk.

But back then, I was stubborn as hell, convinced that love could get me through anything.

As I looked back, I didn't think it got me over all those obstacles after all.

Maybe it just made me act foolishly.

Eight years had gone by.

So what did marriage actually give me?

It was Francisco coming home later and later, and the long, heavy silences at the dinner table.

It was the light in my eyes gradually dimming, swallowed by the relentless routine of everyday life.

I picked up my phone and, almost without thinking, typed in "stay-at-home mom returned to work".

The results that popped up made my chest tighten.

Old age, a gap in experience, and out of touch with the world for too long...

Every single word felt like a needle straight to my eyes.

Just as I sat there grinding my teeth at the glowing screen, the door swung open.

Francisco, fresh from the shower, stood in the doorway.

He looked at me, opened his mouth as if to speak, but then just climbed onto the bed without saying a word.

"Is Lucas asleep?" he asked.

I looked up, suddenly realizing it was the end of the month.

It was that time again, his routine "husbandly duties" night.

I might as well claim my "monthly bonus".

Honestly, I could use some stress relief too.

I didn't waste a beat and walked right into the bathroom.

I gave myself a soft makeup look and then finally took out the lipstick Francisco gave me last year. Tonight, I wore it for the very first time.

Francisco was lounging against the headboard, scrolling through his phone.

When he heard me, he looked up and froze for a second.

After we got married, I almost never took the initiative like this, and I definitely didn't bother dressing up for him.

Before Francisco could say a word, I was at the edge of the bed.

I gave him a soft smile, my voice gentle and sweet.

I said, "Let me be on top tonight."

Tonight, I took the lead, my nails unconsciously sinking into Francisco's back as the moment heated up.

He let out a muffled groan and wrapped his arms tight around my waist, pulling me even closer.

Afterward, in a rare move, Francisco actually reached over to hold me.

I instinctively pulled away, blurting, "Wait!"

Realizing my tone came off too sharp, I quickly softened it.

I added, "I'm all sweaty and kind of gross. Let me go rinse off first."

I could feel Francisco tense up, and suddenly the whole room felt heavy, like the air had gotten thick and chilly.

When I came out of the bathroom, drying my hair with a towel, the bed was already empty.

Francisco was standing by the desk, a deep frown on his face as he stared at my laptop, which I'd left wide open.

The screen was lit up with job postings.

He turned around, his tone barely hiding the annoyance and tiredness.

He questioned, "What is it this time?

"Are you not getting enough here, or do you just want to act like you're so miserable?

"Why can't you just enjoy the easy life instead of going out there to look for trouble?"

I didn't say anything. I just quietly walked over and closed the job postings window.

I didn't even spare him a glance the whole time.

What did he know?

Honestly, investing in myself was the smartest move I could ever make.

I finally figured it out.

I used to let Francisco dictate all my ups and downs. That was why I kept feeling so insecure.

Sure, I could get material things from him.

But the sense of security had to come from within. I had to give that to myself.