Chapter 1

During our trip to Landskar, my best friend Chelsea Gill suddenly got her period.

Toby James, my boyfriend, who was a total neat freak, immediately took off the jacket I'd bought him, bent down, and tied it around Chelsea's waist.

Without even looking back, Toby said, "Go grab some hot chocolate for her."

By the time I got back with the hot chocolate, braving the rain, the front desk was empty.

The owner of the inn smiled and said, "That couple has already gone back to their room."

I pushed open the door.

Chelsea was laughing and playfully hitting Toby on the chest.

Chelsea teased, "The brackets in this inn are done in the official style from colonial times. You were wrong!"

Toby was gently rubbing her stomach, his voice soft as he admitted, "Yeah, you're right. I was wrong."

When he saw me, Toby frowned and grumbled, "Why did you take forever to buy something? You didn't even think to bring some hot water?"

With that, he got up to make some hot chocolate.

He never even looked at me, completely ignoring the fact that I was drenched.

I suddenly felt utterly empty.

That night, I bought the earliest train ticket I could find and cut the trip short, since I always felt like a third wheel anyway.

The rain in Tarad finally snapped me out of pretending everything was fine.

*****

This summer was strangely cool, and after the sudden downpour, I let out a big sneeze.

I changed out of my wet clothes and took a hot shower.

When I came out, drying my hair, a fresh cup of hot chocolate was already set out on the coffee table.

Toby had not only made the hot chocolate but also brought back two packs of tampons and a few heating pads, all lined up neatly in front of Chelsea.

Chelsea held her cup and glanced at me. "Maria, you sneezed just now. Let me share half with you."

As she was about to pass it over, Toby reached out to block her.

"She's got two hands. She can make her own if she wants some. No need to take yours," he said.

Chelsea gave him a light smack. "Don't be so harsh on Maria."

She stubbornly pushed the half bowl of hot chocolate toward me. "Come on, drink it. Ignore him."

Toby raised his hands in mock surrender and sighed. "Alright, the patient gets to call the shots. Whatever you want."

"I'm not a patient," Chelsea shot back, rolling her eyes at him.

She steered the conversation back. "Even if I'm not feeling great, I'm still better than someone who can't even remember what's in the Treatise on Architectural Methods."

Toby jumped in. "It's easy to get the tube-style brackets mixed up. Look at the curve of the bracket"

They kept going back and forth, chatting about all this architecture jargon I couldn't follow at all.

All that jargon felt like an invisible wall, keeping me on the outside.

It was not like I hadn't tried. I even tried to join in when they got all excited about it.

"What's that thing on the roof called again? Is it a dragon?" I asked.

They'd both turn to me, smiling at me like I was clueless.

"That's a fish-dragon hybrid, meant to offer blessings," Toby explained.

At first, I told myself, "It's like we're speaking different languages. This isn't my scene."

But after it happened a few more times, I stayed quiet.

I held the half cup of hot chocolate and stepped under the eaves outside.

The rain hadn't stopped, falling in a fine, steady drizzle, tapping out a scattered rhythm on the stone slabs.

The steam and sweet scent from the cup faded quickly in the night breeze. Before it even reached my lips, the warmth was already gone.

It tasted cloyingly sweet, making it hard to swallow.

I heard footsteps behind me.

Toby stepped outside and pressed his warm, dry palm to my forehead. "What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"

I shook my head.

He withdrew his hand, his voice tinged with helplessness. "Are you jealous?"

I stared at him in silence.

He sighed, like he was coaxing a stubborn kid. "It's summer, and it's so hot. Getting caught in the rain isn't a big deal.

"Besides, I'm only taking care of her because of you. Didn't you ask me to be nicer to her?"

He paused for a moment, then added, "Weren't you the one who kept saying you wanted to visit Landskar? Come on, try to enjoy yourself."

My heart softened a bit, and I tried to let it slide, searching for a reason to forgive him.

I felt that he still cared about me. He remembered I wanted to come to Landskar, and he actually tried to make me feel better.

But then he said casually, "Chelsea saw you weren't looking too happy earlier.

"She's worried she made things awkward for everyone and feels really guilty about it.

"She's already feeling terrible. Could you not look so gloomy?"

My fingers tightened around the edge of the cup, my knuckles turning white.

Raindrops fell in fits and starts from the eaves, splashing onto the stone slabs and shattering into tiny pieces.

I realized that he didn't come out here because of me.

Before I could say a word, Chelsea's voice echoed from the bathroom. "Toby, I forgot my tampon. Could you hand it over?"

Toby replied instantly, "Coming!"

He spun around and headed back inside, moving way quicker than before.