Chapter 4

Or I'd be constantly checking my phone, hoping Felix would text me.

Now, I took in everything around me.

I realized I'd missed out on a lot.

The church was crowded with people.

Wealth and love are eternal themes for humanity.

I had no idea what I was supposed to wish for.

Back in the day, I would've been praying with all the sincerity I could muster.

I would've prayed to bless me with a relationship with Felix.

Honestly, I've done stupid stuff like that more times than I care to admit.

Back when Nykia and I were traveling in Belmere, we heard a church was famous.

I went out of my way and dragged Nykia on a long detour so we could pray for our wishes to come true there.

But now, I wasn't in the mood for any of that.

I sat in the church.

I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

Thank goodness, my wish was never granted.

Otherwise, I'd probably be suffering even more right now.

I didn't end up wishing for anything.

I just prayed.

[Hope everything goes well, and everyone stays healthy and safe.]

With nothing better to do, I wandered around the church.

I noticed the kittens the church had taken in, stretched out lazily in the sunlight.

Up in the branches, little birds were chirping nonstop.

I suddenly remembered something.

For the past four years, I don't think I ever really paid attention to my surroundings like this.

I always hurried past everything.

All my thoughts were about Felix.

If I wasn't wondering what Felix was doing, I was still thinking about him anyway.

But now, I could finally stop thinking about Felix.

As I headed down the mountain, I pulled out my phone and texted Nykia.

[I went to the church, but I didn't pray for brains.]

Nykia shot back instantly. [So what did you wish for?]

[Nothing.]

Nykia: [???]

Nykia: [So why'd you bother going all that way, then?]

I thought for a second, then typed, [Guess I just wanted to say goodbye.]

Nykia sent back a confused emoji.

I just smiled and left it at that.

Going down the mountain was way easier than climbing up.

By the time I reached the bottom, it felt like the weight I'd been carrying in my heart was left behind up there.

By the time I got home, it was almost seven.

My parents were out for a walk, so the house was quiet.

I changed into my slippers and was about to pour myself a glass of water.

My phone buzzed.

I thought it was Nykia again, so I opened it without a second thought.

But instead, it was a friend request from Felix.

No message, nothing.

Just a bunch of big question marks.

I knew what Felix was getting at.

After staring at my phone for ages, I finally hit delete on his friend request.

I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.

I guess this uneven relationship between Felix and me was meant to end here.

Felix was way too proud. He wouldn't ever try to contact me again.

But I never expected that.

Felix even sent me another friend request.

Even after I fell asleep and missed it, he kept calling nonstop.

After all that hiking the day before, I crashed early and slept like a log.

My phone could've been buzzing all night, and I wouldn't have noticed.

Early the next morning, before I'd even gotten out of bed, Nykia's call woke me up.

She said, "Morning. Did you book your flight? What time do you land?

"Send me your flight info. I will come and pick you up whenever I can.

"Oh, and Felix wouldn't stop calling me last night, asking where you were.

"Did you guys not sort out your plans this time or what?"

I could only laugh in exasperation.

Nykia totally didn't buy what I said about leaving.

"I'm not coming back."

I mumbled back, still half-asleep.

I pretty much zoned out whenever she started talking about Felix after that.

Nykia said, "Oh, please, who'd believe that? Don't take forever. Just send me your flight info once you've booked it.

"And don't be a dummy like last time, waiting at the airport all night."

She was talking about last New Year's Day.

Felix got into a conflict with Agnes's boyfriend because of Agnes.

He'd managed to snag a flight at the last minute.

But with the holiday rush, I couldn't get a cab at the airport no matter what.

And Felix was sulking because Agnes was sticking up for her boyfriend. He wouldn't answer my calls.

I was forced to tough it out, spending the whole night at the airport, shivering in the cold wind.

Thinking about it now made me cringe.

If Nykia hadn't pulled me back to reality, I probably would've kept flopping around in bed like a dead fish, embarrassed out of my mind.

"Muriel? You still there? Don't forget to send me your flight info," said Nykia.

I took a deep breath.

Then I said again, "I'm serious, Nykia. I'm not coming back this time.

"All my stuff's packed and back home."

I sounded so serious that Nykia went quiet for a few seconds.

She asked, sounding unsure, "For real?"

I said, " Yes. You can go and check my place if you don't believe me.

"I even took the leftovers from two days ago with me."

There was dead silence on the other end of the call.

I felt a bit anxious. Did I piss Nykia off?

After all, my decision to bail was way too sudden.