Chapter 1

I'd been crushing on Nathan Ramsey for five years, but to him, I was just like a friend from next door.

But when I started keeping my distance, he spent the whole night posting on the internet.

He posted, [Help! My childhood sweetheart suddenly started ignoring me. What do I do?]

I clicked on the post and, to my surprise, he actually admitted it.

He updated, [Honestly, I like her, but I'm scared she'll find me annoying.]

I nearly died laughing. So he thought I was into the aloof type.

Then, I started teasing him nonstop.

When he texted me, [Good morning,] I shot back, [Who is it?]

When he left coffee downstairs for me, I posted on Facebook, [Found a random coffee by the door. Anyone wanna claim it?]

He was freaking out, spamming his help post online whenever he got a chance.

So, I used my alt account and started giving him advice myself.

*****

I'd been crushing on Nathan for five years.

For those five years, I was always checking up on him, always ready to help, and always there whenever he called.

Whenever he was playing basketball, I'd be right there handing him a bottle of water.

After school, I'd wait for him so we could walk home together.

When he caught a cold, I even knew what medicine his roommates got for him.

And what did I get in return?

Every time he introduced me, it was always with that same cold, distant line, "Oh, she's just my friend from next door."

He said it so flatly, not a trace of feeling in his voice.

Then, just last month, I delivered a love letter to Nathan from a girl who had a crush on him.

He frowned, those good-looking brows knitting together as he asked me, "Didn't I tell you to get rid of any love letters people give me?"

I didn't say a word. I just shoved the letter right into his arms.

He took it, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

But when he glanced down at the signature, his smile froze.

I just stared at him, my face blank.

He noticed something was off, and a flicker of panic crossed his face.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I just shrugged.

Back then, just seeing him put a smile on my face. I couldn't help but gaze at him with puppy eyes.

But then, my expression was blank, and my gaze was icy.

It was nothing much.

I was just tired. I wanted to stop liking him.

If I couldn't warm his heart, I was done trying.

I was done playing this solo act.

I would just let him be with whoever he wanted. I didn't care anymore.

The first step to letting go was to act as if he were invisible.

I stopped "accidentally" dropping in on Nathan's extra classes.

I made a detour around the basketball court where he always hung out, and there were no more water deliveries, either.

His chat got unpinned, and his contact name was back to the boring old "Nathan Ramsey."

I held back from instantly liking his Facebook posts and swiped past as if I had never seen them.

Nathan was totally oblivious at first.

I saw that coming, anyway.

He knew I had a crush on him.

Over the past five years, I'd thrown him hints left and right.

Plus, he was a total emotional idiot.

In the senior year of high school, a girl was walking down the hallway, arms full of books stacked so high that she could barely see where she was going.

At the same time, a guy who'd just finished playing basketball was goofing off, walking backward, and joking with his friends.

She tried to warn him to watch out, but they still collided.

Her tower of books went flying everywhere.

Nathan, who was sitting in the back row, saw the whole thing and rushed over to help her gather up the books.

He ended up walking her to the office to deliver the books.

After that, she started showing up all the time, bringing him snacks and drinks.

I knew I had another love rival.

I told Nathan what that girl was really after.

Nathan just frowned and said, "You're reading too much into it."

Of course, he wouldn't catch on that fast.

And then, about a week later, things shifted.

I barely talked to him for a whole week.

Even when I saw him, I didn't bother saying hi.

He started saying stuff he'd never said before, acting all concerned in a way I'd never seen.

He texted, [It's getting colder tomorrow. Make sure you wear something warm.]

I stared at his message, my finger hovering over the screen for ages. I almost gave in and typed, [You too.]

But in the end, I took a deep breath and slowly typed out, [Thanks for caring.]

After I hit send, I just kept staring at the chat window.

It showed he was typing.

Five minutes went by, and he was still "typing," but he never sent anything.

I could picture him, stuck there, wanting to say something but having no clue what.

I used to be just like that, always racking my brain for something to say to him.

And all he ever gave me were those dry, blunt replies.

A few more minutes ticked by.

Then he finally sent, [There's a new restaurant by the school gate. I heard their fried fish is pretty good.]

Me: [Okay.]

Nathan was stunned by my reaction.

The next second, I jumped on Facebook.

I updated, [Anyone wanna hit up that new restaurant by the school gate?]

My best friend, Kara Harrison, replied instantly, [Wow, finally ditching Nathan to eat with us girls? You're not crazy about him anymore?]

I replied right away, [Not anymore.]

Nathan actually popped up in my comments, which was rare.

For the first time, he asked me if I wanted to go to a concert with him that weekend.

It was the same concert I'd been bugging him about for a month.

When I asked him before, he just brushed me off and never said if he'd go with me.

I replied, [Nah, I've got plans.]

He texted back immediately, [With who?]

Me: [Just a classmate.]

Nathan: [Guy or girl?]