Chapter 1
When I died, Edward Thompson was taking Olivia Grant home.
She sat in the passenger seat, her face pale, fingers gripping the seatbelt tightly.
Just six hundred feet from home, I was sprawled in an alley.
I'd been stabbed twice in the stomach.
Blood slowly spread across the cold, wet ground, seeping toward a broken cake box.
Edward's name was written on the box.
Tonight was the night he won the Young Lawyer of the Year award.
I'd planned to give him the cake myself.
But now, I probably wouldn't get the chance.
*****
I floated in the air, watching the paramedics rush past my body.
They carried away the high schooler first.
He wasn't seriously hurt, just a gash on his arm and blood smeared all over his face. Before he blacked out, he was gripping my sleeve tightly.
The guy who robbed me was already pinned against the wall by the patrol officers.
He was still struggling.
He was cursing up a storm.
I didn't look at him again.
Dying wasn't as painful as I'd imagined.
The worst of it was already over.
Now, all that was left was cold.
And those three unanswered calls before my phone screen went dark.
The first call, Edward rejected.
The second, he silenced it.
The third, he hung up.
A few seconds later, he sent me a message. [Stop trying to force me to come back like this.]
By then, I'd already been stabbed twice.
I slid down the wall, blood all over my fingers.
I wanted to tell Edward that I hadn't been trying to force him.
I just wanted him to save me.
But my phone was already lying on the ground, its screen smashed under that guy's foot.
All I could do was let out a faint, breathless sound. I couldn't even make a fourth call.
Headlights cut through the night.
Edward's car pulled off the overpass and stopped at the entrance to Olivia's apartment complex.
I had no idea why I ended up here, trailing after Edward.
Maybe it was just because, right before I died, he was the only person I wanted to see.
Or maybe I just couldn't let go yet.
I just wanted to know why he kept ignoring my calls.
Olivia stayed in the car, hesitating to get out.
Her head was lowered, and her tears dripped onto the back of her hand.
"Edward, I'm sorry. Tonight was your award ceremony. I shouldn't have made you drive me home," Olivia whispered.
Edward gripped the steering wheel.
He had on the black suit I'd pressed for him.
Even the tie was my choice.
Before he left this morning, I'd fixed his collar for him.
He'd asked me to bring the cake after the ceremony so we could celebrate together.
But as soon as the ceremony ended, Olivia called.
She said her ex-husband had sent her threatening messages again.
She was alone in the parking lot, too scared to drive.
Edward didn't hesitate.
He grabbed his coat and left.
I tried to stop him.
"Why not call the cops for her, or just send the driver? This was supposed to be our day," I said.
He shot me an impatient look.
"Claire, she just got divorced. She's really messed up right now. Do you really have to make a big deal out of this right now?" he said.
I didn't try to stop him anymore.
I just asked him one thing. "What if I was the one who was scared tonight?"
Edward was silent for a couple of seconds.
After a moment, Edward said, "You're not like her."
So that was how it was. We were just different.
When Olivia was scared, he was right there, driving her home.
But when I was scared, all I could do was call him, hoping he'd come back; even if it felt like I was forcing him.
Inside the car, Olivia was still crying.
"Is Claire upset with you? She was calling you nonstop just now," she asked.
Edward picked up his phone and glanced at the screen.
Three missed calls were displayed.
And there was the message he'd sent me.
Edward's brow furrowed.
"Let her cool off," Edward said.
"It's so late, she's all alone out there," Olivia murmured, worry in her tone.
"She's at the studio," Edward replied.
He sounded so sure of himself.
"She'll go home after she finishes the cake," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I stood outside the car, watching him.
So he knew I was alone at the studio.
He knew it was already late.
He just figured I'd make my way home on my own.
Olivia pressed her lips together.
"You really don't have to stay with me. I'm already home," she said softly.
She was getting out, but her hand just hovered over the seatbelt, not moving for a long moment.
Edward leaned over and unbuckled the seatbelt for her.
He did it like it was second nature, smooth and effortless.
"Go on up. I'll wait here until you turn on the lights," he said.
Olivia froze for a moment, caught off guard.
Her eyes welled up again.
"Edward, thank you," Olivia said softly.
She got out of the car, glancing back at him every few steps as she walked into the building.
Edward didn't leave right away.
He sat in his car, gazing up at the sixteenth floor.
A few minutes later, a window on the sixteenth floor lit up.
Only then did his expression finally relax.
Just then, his phone lit up.
It wasn't me.
It was a message from Olivia.
[I'm home. You should head back early too.]
Edward replied: [Okay.]
Suddenly, I remembered the second year of our marriage.
Once, the power went out at the studio, and I waited alone in the pitch-black hallway for two hours.
I called him and said I was a little scared.
He was in a meeting.
He just replied with one message.
[You're an adult now. Stop relying on others for everything.]
Later, I stumbled my way down twelve flights of stairs in the dark.
The next day, my ankle was so swollen, and I couldn't even put my shoe on.
Edward just glanced at it and asked, "Why didn't you just call a cab?"
Back then, I kept finding reasons for him.
He was just too busy.
It wasn't that he didn't care about me.
He had just been used to me handling everything on my own.
Now I finally got it.
Whether someone let you lean on them had nothing to do with how busy they were.
It was all about who you were to them.
Edward finally started the car.
My spirit trailed after him, following him back home.
When the door opened, the living room was pitch black.
He stood in the entryway and flicked on the wall light.
"Claire?" Edward called out.
No one answered.