Chapter 1
A male lactation therapist showed up at my door.
I was uncomfortable and wanted my husband, Blake Shaw, to find me a female one instead. But he called me difficult and said I was never satisfied.
What my husband didn't know was this—The night he left on his business trip, the therapist he hired didn't just use his hands on me. His mouth followed.
And in the end, the therapist slowly lifted my nightgown…
I'm Erin Hayes, 27, and a new nursing mom.
After I had my baby, my milk supply was always a little too abundant.
My baby couldn't drink it all, so I constantly ended up with blocked ducts. The pain in my chest was bad enough, but the frustration was even worse.
Luckily, Blake couldn't stand watching me suffer, so he asked his mother to hire a lactation therapist for me.
What surprised me was that the next day, the visitor at my door was a tall young man over 6 feet tall.
"Hello, Mrs. Shaw. I'm Miles Holden, your breastfeeding specialist."
Why was it a guy?
Looking at this sunny, cheerful young man who seemed a few years younger than me, I couldn't help but frown.
But he just scratched his head. "Don't worry, Mrs. Hayes. I'm a licensed professional."
To help me relax, Miles actually showed me his license.
But even with all that, I still felt totally creeped out.
Honestly, I've always been pretty old-fashioned.
The thought of a man who wasn't my husband touching my body made my skin crawl.
When I asked Blake to have his mom find a female specialist, he snapped at me.
He looked irritated and started scolding me.
"Erin, can you stop nitpicking her? Does it matter if it's a guy or girl? Use it or don't."
His indifference really hurt me.
But at the end of the day, it was his wife another man would be touching. Not my wife.
If he didn't care, what could I possibly say?
I bit my lip and pretended it didn't bother me.
"Alright, we'll stick with him then," I said.
But when the time came for the therapy session the next day, I felt awkward all over again.
"Can you not touch me?" I asked.
I tightened my pajamas and gave Miles a wary look when he arrived early.
Blake had already headed off to the office.
It was just me and the baby at home.
The thought of what Miles was about to do made my skin crawl.
He let out a small laugh. "Mrs. Shaw, you can't be serious. How am I supposed to do the therapy without touching you?"
Seeing my tension, he scratched his head, embarrassed.
I hesitated. "Does it absolutely have to involve touching? Isn't there another way?"
I didn't want this and was still trying to find a way out.
Miles pointed at the baby in the crib. "There are other ways, but they work much slower. Even if you can wait, ma'am, the baby can't."
Yeah, I can wait, but my baby can't.
His words really hit me where it hurt.
I went quiet.
I'm a mom now—I must think about my baby too.
"Alright then," I said.
Looking up at Miles, who towered over me by at least a head, I gritted my teeth. After a long, long hesitation, I finally made my decision.
It's all for my baby.
Sitting on the bed's edge, I took a deep breath, gathering the strength to go through with it.
But just as I placed my hand over my chest, I looked at him standing in front of me and couldn't help myself.
"Could you turn around for a second?" I asked, my voice shaky.
Being stared at by a stranger still made me awkward and self-conscious.
"Of course," Miles said with a reassuring tone.
Thankfully, he understood and turned his back to me.
Only then did I sigh in relief, feeling more comfortable.
Undoing my buttons, I felt my face flush with embarrassment.
"Um... you can turn around now," I said awkwardly. Then I stared at him, my guard fully up.
What surprised me was that as soon as he turned, he blurted a compliment.
"Hey Erin, you have a beautiful shape."
The sudden compliment caught me completely off guard.
"R-Really?" I asked, looking down shyly. But then I unconsciously puffed my chest out a little.
It was true. I had a nice body.
Back when we were still intimate, Blake used to compliment my body all the time. He loved my chest.
But I couldn't understand why, as a busty girl, I had a low milk supply after having a baby.
"Most moms get some sagging after kids, but I didn't expect yours to stay so firm and attractive, especially given your size," Miles said, impressed.
He was generous with his praise.
His words made some of my resistance fade, and little by little, I started letting my guard down around him.
His eyes were clear and sincere, not sleazy.
His hand sanitizing and gloving showed he was a pro at getting ready.
"Alright, Erin, lie down. I'm starting now," he said calmly.
As he finished prepping, I suddenly realized he was about to touch me, and I tensed.
I felt like my cheeks were on fire from embarrassment.
At this point, I lay down on the bed, feeling like a helpless lamb awaiting the inevitable.
I could only watch as Miles reached out with his warm, big hands.
Slowly, inch by inch, his hands settled onto me...