Chapter 4
The rafting boats were for two people each.
I was supposed to be paired up with Lucas.
I was the one who filled out the registration form, and the couple's package even threw in a bonus Polaroid print.
When it was time to assign boats, Chloe stood by the shore, hugging her life jacket like a lifeline, too nervous to move.
"I'm kind of scared of the water," she said, her voice barely audible.
But Lucas heard her anyway.
And then he shot me a look.
"You team up with Natalie. I'll go with Chloe," he said.
Natalie Evans was our class's sports rep and was always blunt and never held back.
She frowned right away. "Lucas, are you out of your mind? Ella's your girlfriend!"
The whole vibe went awkward in a flash.
Chloe's eyes welled up with tears again.
"Natalie, don't say that. Ella's way braver than me. I just don't want to be a burden to everyone."
Lucas's face grew darker.
"Butt out, Natalie," he snapped.
My fingers felt a bit numb as I buckled up my life jacket.
"Alright then," I answered, with a plain expression.
Lucas was actually caught off guard.
He probably expected me to make a scene, to feel embarrassed, to ask him why like I used to.
But I just handed the staff the ticket for the couple's photo package.
"I don't want this one," I said.
The staff glanced at us but didn't take it.
Lucas just grabbed it and shoved it into his pocket.
"Don't waste it," he said.
Chloe then echoed softly, "Maybe I should just sit this one out. I don't want to be a bother."
Lucas buckled her life jacket for her, and his touch was super gentle.
"It's fine," he said.
Those words hit me like a punch to the gut.
The rafting started, and the current was way stronger than I expected.
Natalie sat in front of me, grumbling the whole way. "Ella, were you blind before? Lucas? Come on! Just because he's hot doesn't mean he's worth it, looks don't pay the bills."
I gripped the handle, but I couldn't even force a smile.
As the raft shot down the first drop, icy water splashed all over me.
Screams filled my ears.
Suddenly, I recalled the summer after sophomore year, when our school organized a trip to the water park.
I was too scared to try the high slide, and Lucas waited in line for twenty minutes, then left the line with me.
His words still echoed in my ears, "If you're scared, don't do it. No one says you have to be brave just because you're young."
Turns out, he could be thoughtful after all.
He just stopped being thoughtful to me.
At the end of the rafting trip, there was a photo wall.
The staff had put up all the candid shots from earlier, offering them for anyone who wanted a keepsake.
The picture of Lucas and Chloe looked amazing.
When the raft dropped, Chloe instinctively clung to him.
Lucas protected her head with one arm, gripped the side of the raft with the other, his expression tight with concentration.
It was like a scene straight out of a hero movie.
Everyone crowded around, making a fuss and egging them on.
"Come on, you have to buy this one! Not buying it should be illegal!"
"Lucas, you look at Chloe like she's your whole world!"
Lucas didn't deny it.
And he paid for the photo.
Chloe's cheeks turned red as she said, "Stop it, or Ella might get mad."
Everyone turned to look at me.
Water was dripping from my hair, my clothes clinging to me, completely soaked.
Natalie was about to defend me, but I grabbed her arm to stop her.
"I'm not upset," I said.
My voice was so flat, it barely sounded like me.
Lucas held the photo, a slight frown crossing his face.
He finally seemed to notice something was wrong.
But then, Chloe lost her footing and stumbled right into him.
He caught her right away.
Any trace of realization in his eyes vanished, like it was never there at all.
That night, we had a graduation bonfire party.
The courtyard was strung with colorful lights, and the wooden tables were loaded with barbecue and drinks.
The class president organized a game of truth or dare.
The beer bottle landed on Chloe.
Someone grinned mischievously. "Chloe, truth time, did you have a crush on anyone during high school?"
Chloe looked down, her ears turning red.
"Yeah," she said.
The crowd erupted in cheers.
"Who is it? Who is it?" people cheered.
She shot a quick look at Lucas, then her eyes darted away.
It was clear as day who she meant.
Lucas leaned back in his chair, not smiling, and didn't bother to clear things up.
Someone spun the bottle, and it landed right in front of him.
"Lucas, your dare. Kiss the one you most want to kiss!" someone shouted.
The whole place went wild all of a sudden.
I sat just outside the firelight, clutching an unopened drink in my hand.
Lucas's gaze swept over the crowd and locked onto me.
For a second, I thought he'd say no.
But then he stood up and headed right for me.
The cheers around us exploded even louder.
My heart skipped a beat.
He stopped in front of me, bent down, and picked up the jacket next to me.
Then he turned and draped it over Chloe's shoulders.
"She's got a cold, so cut it out," he said.
Everyone froze for a second, then burst out laughing.
"That's even more intimate than a kiss!"
"Lucas, you really know how to play the game!"
Chloe wrapped herself in the jacket, and I could clearly see that set of fire lighting in her eyes.
I glanced down at my chair, now empty except for the missing jacket.
That jacket was mine.
Back when my clothes were still soaked from rafting, Lucas had picked it up and said he'd keep it for me.
Now it was hanging over Chloe's shoulders.
Natalie jumped up. "That's Ella's jacket!"
The whole place went quiet for a second.
Chloe's face went pale, and she hurriedly tried to take it off.
Lucas held her shoulders and looked at me.
"It's just a jacket. Chloe's not feeling well, let her keep it," he said.
The firelight flickered across his face, making him look both beautiful and ruthless.
"What if I said I was cold?" I complained quietly. And everyone could barely hear it out from my lips.
Lucas's brows furrowed.
"Ella, quit faking," he said.
The mountain wind swept in, my wet clothes clinging to my back, the cold biting right through me.
Chloe whispered, "Lucas, maybe I should just give it back to Ella."
"No need," Lucas said.
His voice was harder than the mountain wind.
"She's not that fragile," he added.
Everyone went quiet.
My fingers slowly loosened their grip on the bottle.
The bottle was slick with condensation.
Mr. Fisher came out of the house and called out, "Ella, your mom called me. She said she couldn't get through to you."
I pulled out my phone.
The screen was black. My phone was dead.
Mr. Fisher handed me his phone, looking worried.
When the call connected, my mom's voice was trembling.
"Ella, are you okay? I saw your classmates posting updates online, but I couldn't find you in any of them. Someone said you got left behind at the rest stop, and I couldn't reach you"
I couldn't say a word for a second as if I was choked.
"Mom, I'm fine," I responded after that pause.
"Don't lie to me," Mom said.
There was a lot of noise in the background, like she was standing in a hospital hallway.
"The head nurse said you took the afternoon off. Did you pick up extra night shifts again, just so I could go on this trip?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Mom was silent for a couple of seconds.
"I'm not tired," she said.
Tears hit me out of nowhere, streaming down my face.
Right then, nothing else mattered, not the awkwardness, not the pain. All I could think about was her saying she wasn't tired.
I turned and walked out of the courtyard.
Lucas took a couple of steps after me.
"Ella, where are you going?" he called out.
I stopped in my tracks.
The firelight, the voices, and even the jacket on Chloe's shoulders, all of it felt like it belonged to another world, so far from me.
I didn't look back.
"I'm going home," I said.
Lucas's tone was heavy, almost cold.
"We'll have the graduation photo taken tomorrow. If you leave now, are you just going to make it obvious to everyone that we're not okay?"
I gripped Mr. Fisher's phone so hard my knuckles turned white.
"Lucas," I said.
"Let's break up."