Chapter 1

Sophie stood in the doorway of her own birthday party and felt like a guest.

Gold letters over the fireplace spelled out HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SOPHIE. Music, cake, and a table of gifts nobody had touched yet. And Clara, curled on the couch under a blanket, though it wasn't cold.

"Come sit by your sister," her mother said, passing with a tray of drinks. "She gets tired standing too long."

"It's my party, Mom."

"I know, sweetheart. I just don't want her overdoing it."

Sophie let it go. Clara had been sick for as long as Sophie could remember, and every room they'd ever stood in together had bent itself around her sister's needs. Sophie had stopped keeping score a long time ago.

Mostly.

She scanned the room. No, Ethan.

Her stomach dropped, small and sharp. She found Priya by the snack table instead.

"Have you seen Ethan?"

"Not for a bit." Priya bit into a chip. "Check the hallway. Maybe he's hiding from your aunt's college interrogation."

Sophie laughed despite herself and went to look.

The hallway was darker and quieter, the party noise falling away behind her. Low voices came from near the guest bathroom.

"Ethan?"

She turned the corner, already smiling.

Ethan had Clara pressed gently to the wall, one hand near her jaw, and Clara's fingers were curled into the front of his shirt, holding him there.

Ethan pulled back first. He saw Sophie over Clara's shoulder and went white.

"Sophie—"

Clara's eyes opened. Before the tears came, her gaze cut sideways to Ethan—quick, searching, gone before Sophie could be sure she'd seen it at all. Then both hands flew to her mouth.

"Sophie, I—it's not—I don't know what happened, I swear—"

"You don't know what happened?" Sophie's voice came out strange, too calm, like it belonged to someone standing further away than she was. "You were kissing him. That's what happened."

"Sophie, please, let me explain…" Ethan stepped toward her.

"Don't." She held up a hand. He stopped.

Clara's crying cracked into sobbing, and their mother was there in seconds, moving past Sophie like she wasn't standing in the middle of it.

"Clara, honey, what's wrong?"

"Mom…I didn't mean to. I don't know why I…"

"Shh. It's okay." Her mother's hand moved in slow circles on Clara's back, throwing Sophie one quick, worried glance. "Sophie, give us a minute. Your sister's really upset."

"She's upset," Sophie repeated.

Her father appeared at the end of the hallway, and unlike her mother, he didn't move toward Clara at all. His eyes went past Sophie, back toward the living room, toward the noise—checking who else might be close enough to hear.

"Not tonight," he said, low. "Not here."

"Dad, he kissed her. I walked in and he was kissing Clara."

"I know." He still wasn't looking at Sophie. He was watching the mouth of the hallway like he expected someone to walk in. "We'll talk about it. Not with an audience."

Ethan hovered by the wall, hands shoved in his pockets. "It just happened," he said. "I don't even know how. I swear it wasn't planned, Soph."

"Stop talking." Sophie wasn't looking at him anymore. She was looking at Clara.

"Sophie, please." Clara lifted her head, face blotchy. "Don't hate me. If you hate me, I don't know what I'll…"

"That's enough." Her mother's arms tightened around Clara like a shield. "Sophie, I need you to calm down. She's already overwhelmed."

"I haven't said anything." Sophie's voice finally cracked. "I haven't even said anything yet."

"You don't have to say it. I can see your face." Her mother's tone sharpened. "This isn't helping her."

From the living room, cheerful and oblivious, someone called out over the music.

"Sophie! Come cut the cake!"

Nobody in the hallway moved.

Sophie looked at her father, waiting for him to disagree with her mother. He didn't. He was still watching the entrance, jaw tight, like the only thing that mattered was who might walk in next.

She looked at Ethan, waiting for something that would make any of this make sense. Nothing came.

Someone called her name again, further off, laughing about the candles going soft.

Sophie looked at Clara, crying into their mother's shoulder like she was the one who needed comforting.

Then she looked at Ethan.

"How long?"

The hallway went quiet.

Ethan opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked at Clara instead of Sophie.

Clara closed her eyes.