Chapter 6
Since his mother’s dinner, Lucas has barely spoken to me. Before I make my final decision, I need to know whether he still remembers our anniversary.
I booked this downtown restaurant for our sixth anniversary and sent Lucas the confirmation two weeks ago. If he comes tonight, then he still cares about this marriage.
His chair is empty.
A box rests beside my wine.
At seven, I send him a photograph of the table. At seven forty, I tell the waiter Lucas is parking. By eight fifteen, the waiter has stopped asking whether I want to order.
Every time the door opens, my body reacts before I see who entered. My shoulders lift. My fingers leave the stem of my glass. Then a stranger walks past.
“Ten more minutes,” I tell the waiter.
At nine, the candle has burned down and staff are clearing the other tables. When the waiter returns, I nod before he asks.
“It’s fine.”
The answer comes automatically. I have spent years making Lucas’s absences easier for other people to witness.
Outside, I check my phone. No missed call or message. The photograph from our table still says delivered.
I call him. It goes to voicemail.
On the sidewalk, I supply the emergency he failed to mention: the board, a patient, Ethan. The possibilities frighten me, but fear is easier than accepting that he saw my message and chose not to come.
I call his mother.
“Oh, Kate,” she says. “He’s at the alumni event with Daphne. She didn’t want to walk into that room alone.”
My hand goes cold around the phone. “He left me waiting on our anniversary to go with her?”
“It’s important networking. Don’t turn every kindness into an affair.”
She hangs up. I keep the phone at my ear, trying to find a reason that does not mean Lucas chose her over me.
I drive home with the gift on the passenger seat.
I bought the watch three months ago after Lucas paused at a store window and said his father once wore the same model.
I remembered one quiet sentence for three months. He watched my message arrive and left me at the table.
Lucas comes home after eleven. I am in the kitchen, the gift in front of me.
He stops when he sees my dress. “You’re awake.”
“You didn’t come.”
He closes his eyes. “Tonight was more important than I expected.”
“Important to the hospital?”
“Important to people who support it. Daphne knows most of them. It made sense for me to go.”
“You could have told me.”
“I had a difficult day, Kate. I didn’t have time for another argument.”
The word another hurts. The argument existed before I knew there was anything to argue about.
“You let me sit there for two hours.”
“You’re making this personal.”
“It was our anniversary.”
He looks at the box and rubs a hand over his face. “Can we do this tomorrow?”
His phone lights on the counter.
Daphne: Thank you for tonight. It felt like old times. Tell Kate good night for me.
Lucas reaches for the phone, but I have already read it.
“She knew where you were supposed to be.”
“She was being polite.”
I almost ask whether he believes that. His face tells me the answer does not matter. He needs me to accept it so he can go upstairs and sleep.
I pick up the gift.
“What did you get me?” he asks.
I see the ending he expects: I give him the watch, he apologizes, and tonight becomes another misunderstanding.
I carry the box upstairs and put it in the back of my closet. Then I sit on the bed and turn my wedding ring around my finger.
It takes soap and several hard pulls before the ring comes free.
I put it inside the gift box and close the lid.