Chapter 3

Caroline woke up on the morning of the third day.

The first thing she felt was pain. Her head, her chest, and every bone in her body hurt. The second thing was the color white: the ceiling above her, the walls around her, the sheets beneath her.

She lay there for a while, trying to remember what happened. The orphanage, the Carter family, the stairs, and the smile on Sophie's face when Caroline fell.

She remembered that smile so clearly. Not because it was terrifying, but because it was so familiar. The kids at the orphanage who bullied her always had that same smirk right before they hurt her. It was a look that said they knew they'd never be punished.

Caroline turned her head and saw Lisa asleep, slumped over the edge of the bed. Lisa's hand was still holding hers, the diamond ring on her finger pressing uncomfortably against the back of Caroline's hand.

Caroline didn't pull her hand away, and she didn't wake Lisa. She lay there, staring quietly at the ceiling, her thoughts wandering all over the place, like she had almost died.

Like if she really had died, would Sophie have cried even harder? Would everyone have thought she was such a good girl, so good that she even forgave the girl who caused her own sister's death?

Like she didn't want to die.

The thought hit Caroline out of nowhere, sharp and overwhelming. She'd never really cared much about living. If she made it, fine; if she didn't, whatever.

Nobody in this world would actually miss her if she were gone. But now, lying in the ICU, listening to the heart monitor beep, she suddenly felt it was so unfair. Why should she have to go out like this?

She hadn't done anything wrong. She was the girl who got mixed up at birth, unlucky enough to have a weak body, and happened to be in the way. Why did she have to die for all this?

"Caroline?" Lisa called softly.

Lisa woke up, lifted her head, and when she saw Caroline's eyes open, tears welled up instantly. She threw her arms around Caroline, sobbing so hard that she could barely breathe. "You're awake... You're finally awake... I was so scared..."

Caroline was a little out of breath from the hug, but she didn't push Lisa away. It wasn't because she was moved. She simply didn't have the strength to push her away.

Lisa cried for a while and then finally remembered to press the call button for the doctor. Nurses and doctors rushed into the room, checking Caroline's blood pressure, drawing her blood, and hooking her up to an EKG.

The attending physician looked over the results, and his expression was a little more relaxed than before.

"She's out of immediate danger, but we'll need to keep monitoring her," he said. "Her heart function is really weak. Once she's a bit stronger, we'll have to do a full cardiac evaluation. Surgery is very likely."

Lisa nodded eagerly. "Yeah, do the surgery. Whatever it takes, no matter how much it costs."

Caroline listened without any real reaction. It wasn't that she didn't feel anything. She'd learned to keep her emotions and reality apart.

Lisa meant every word she said right now, but that didn't mean her sincerity would stick around forever. Caroline had seen too many kids at the orphanage get adopted, only to be sent back. Those adoptive parents were genuine at first, but people's hearts change.

That afternoon, John showed up.

He stood at Caroline's bedside, looking at her. His lips moved, but all he managed to say was, "Take care of yourself."

Caroline nodded. "Thanks."

John frowned, as if "thanks" sounded weird coming from her. He lingered for a moment, clearly at a loss for words, then turned and walked out.

Alex showed up in the evening.

When he walked into the room, Caroline was sitting up in bed, sipping porridge. It was brought by Lisa, who had made it at home. It was soft and easy to swallow.

But Caroline could only manage a few bites before she had to stop. Her stomach had shrunk so much that it couldn't handle more than that.

Alex stood at the foot of the bed, hands shoved in his pockets, his expression unreadable. He looked at Caroline, and she looked right back at him. Neither of them said a word.

After about ten seconds, Alex finally spoke, "I'm your brother, Alex."

"I know," Caroline said, her voice weak and breathy. "Good to see you."

Alex felt the words were a little off, though he couldn't quite put his finger on why. Most people wouldn't say "good to see you" to their own brother. But then again, they never had the kind of relationship normal siblings do. Maybe that was all they could manage.

He was quiet for a moment, then finally got to the real reason he came. "Sophie wanted me to tell you she's sorry. She said she moved out of the way on the stairs without thinking.

"It was a reflex; she never imagined you'd actually fall. She's been crying at home for days, feeling really guilty about it."

Caroline set down the porridge and looked up at Alex.

She held his gaze for a long time, so long that Alex started to feel a little uneasy under her stare.

Then she smiled.

It was a faint smile, but when Alex saw that smile, his heart skipped a beat.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but that smile unsettled him. It wasn't ugly. In fact, it was so beautiful and out of place for someone who'd been dragged back from the brink of death.

"Don't worry about it," Caroline said softly. "I don't hold it against her."

Alex nodded, feeling like the matter was settled. Just as he was about to turn and leave, Caroline called out to him, "Alex."

Alex turned back to look at her.

Caroline leaned back against the pillow, her face pale but strangely calm. "Can you pass a message to Sophie for me?"

"What message?"

"Tell her the staircase has nineteen steps," Caroline said, her voice calm and clear. "I counted them all as I fell."

Alex froze. He had no idea what she meant by that. He was about to ask, but Caroline had already closed her eyes, looking completely drained. Her breathing grew slower and steadier.

He stood there for a few seconds, watching her, then finally turned and walked out.

Once he was out of the ICU, he lingered in the hallway, turning Caroline's words over in his head again and again, but he still couldn't figure it out. Who cared how many steps were on the staircase? Why was she so fixated on that?

He never ended up telling Sophie. He assumed Caroline was out of it from the fall, probably rambling nonsense.

But he was wrong.

Caroline wasn't confused at all. She was more clear-headed than anyone else in the Carter family.

She counted those steps because, in those few seconds as she fell, her mind was working faster than ever. She was thinking if she survived, how could she make everyone see Sophie's true colors?

The answer was simple.

She didn't have to do anything.

All she had to do was stay alive and collapse at the right moment. She'd let everyone see the stark contrast between Sophie's smile and her own injuries. She didn't need to fight, argue, or explain.

She only needed to give up and let everything go to hell.

Sophie wanted to fight and play out the big drama about sisterly love?

She could put on her show alone.

Caroline was done pretending she was healthy, done acting like she could handle it, done faking that all the hurt didn't break her. She was a sick girl on the edge. If anyone pushed me, she'd let herself fall apart right in front of them.

It was not because she was fragile. It was the survival tactic they taught her.

Caroline closed her eyes, the faint curve at her lips lingering the whole time.

She stayed in the ICU for seven days before being moved to a regular room.

The regular room was a step up from the ICU. At least she could see trees outside the window, and sometimes catch the sound of birds.

Lisa showed up every day, bringing all sorts of soups, always trying different recipes. Caroline could barely drink more than a few spoonfuls at a time, so Lisa would sit right next to her, waiting patiently for her to digest a bit before feeding her a few more bites.

John came by twice, but he didn't stay long each time. He'd only exchange a few polite words and leave. Alex showed up even less; he was swamped with work at Carter Holdings, so making the time to drop by was already a lot.

Sophie never came at all.

Lisa explained that Sophie had hurt her elbows and knees too, so she was having trouble getting around. Lisa also said Sophie would come see Caroline once she was better. Caroline nodded, pretending to understand, but she was thinking about something else entirely.

When Sophie fell down the stairs, she supposedly banged her elbows and knees on the marble floor. She didn't have fractures, but those kinds of injuries would take at least two or three weeks to heal.

But when Caroline first saw Sophie at home, she was wearing a sleeveless pale yellow dress, with no bandages, no sleeves, nothing to hide her skin.

If Sophie were smart about faking an injury, she'd cover up with long sleeves and pants, making sure nobody could see how fast her injuries were "healing".

But Sophie didn't bother with any of that.

She wore a sleeveless dress, letting everyone see her elbows because there wasn't a hint of a bruise anywhere.

Caroline noticed it the day after Sophie's fall. Sophie had posted a photo on her social media, sitting on her bed with a stuffed animal, smiling sweetly.

Caroline zoomed in and saw it plain as day: Sophie's elbows were spotless, not a single mark or bruise, perfect skin.

Caroline kept it to herself. Even if she told her family, it wouldn't make a difference. Lisa, John, and Alex definitely wouldn't believe her. They'd say it was the angle, or the lighting was off, or she was being paranoid.

So they wouldn't believe her.

The only thing they'd ever believe was if she was actually dead.

Caroline reclined in her hospital bed, watching sunlight spill through the leaves outside, painting mottled patterns of light. Suddenly, she thought how absurd the world really was.

It wasn't her fault she'd been switched at birth, wasn't her fault she was sick, wasn't her fault she'd almost died. And yet, everyone looked at her like she was some kind of criminal, as if her existence was a mistake.

Since it was the case, she'd take the blame.

But she wasn't going to play along with their judgment anymore.