Chapter 1
While Mei waits for the doctors to be done with Connor and for Thomas to come from Connor's place with some hospital stay essentials, Garrett Shaw brings her Connor's personal things from the locker room.
Connor's suit and his Breven watch and his phone, all packed into Connor's equipment bag.
Garrett lets himself be hugged tightly and returns the gesture with just as much feeling.
Mei doesn't know him closely, but she knows he's been practically a brother to Connor all these years.
His wife, Elena, sits with them whenever Mei and Thomas make it to Connor's games.
He would stay for as long as he is able, but he has a wife and a flock of small children and he's just played a game.
Mei sends him home, because he's pale and shaken and his eyelids start dropping.
He promises to return the next day.
Mei is glad for his friendship with Connor.
Sometimes she can't help but worry her son is lonely, even when surrounded by people.
She's left in the waiting room alone, with just the bag of Connor's things for company.
Just as she opens it to see whether it needs repacking to meet Connor's standards, the bag buzzes.
Well, Connor's phone inside it does.
Mei reaches for it automatically.
Just in time to see the notification on screen.
Iris: I know you can't write now...
The message is cut short by the preview window.
The phone's screen fades to black again, but just briefly, before it lights up with another notification.
Iris: Please please be ok
Mei takes a deep breath.
She doesn't know of any Iris in Connor's life.
There's a neighbor named Lilian, but she is in her fifties and has three sons older than Connor.
Mei doesn't think he's ever talked to her.
This Iris, however...
She sounds like she cares.
Connor has her saved in his phone, no last name or business affiliation, which means she can't be a random fan nor a professional contact.
Possibly a partner of one of his teammates, but—
No, her pleas sound a little more personal than that.
Mei feels sorry for her instantly.
This girl or woman unknown to her, but who is clearly waiting for updates on Connor's health.
It must be nerve wrecking.
And it'll be so long before Connor can respond to her, even after he wakes up.
Feeling a little guilty, Mei takes a deep breath and unlocks Connor's phone.
He's a creature of habit, her son, and she reliably hits the correct combination of numbers for the PIN code on just her second try.
She'll just reply Iris with Connor's prognosis into the existing message thread.
That's what Mei tells herself.
Except she opens the thread and flinches.
IrisNoo I want to watchAnd we both know you can come more than 1 time in hour Stop trying to distract me!
The game starts in ten minutes.Are you hard?
Yes.Today 10:43 PMI know you can't write now but please text me when you can.
They won't tell me anythingPlease please be ok
Reflexively, Mei closes the conversation even as she sees Iris typing.
This is not something she wants to read; it's not something Connor would want her to read.
He'd be mortified.
Logically, she knows her son is an adult.
He has adult desires and adult relationships and, apparently, adult conversations.
Though if you'd asked her before this moment whether she'd ever expect to find dirty messages on Connor's phone, she'd have—
Well, she doesn't know what she would have done or said, because she's never thought about it before.
She can't possibly reply to that thread, introducing herself as Connor's mother.
It would likely be unpleasant to both Connor and—
His girlfriend?
He hasn't mentioned anyone since his brief relationship with Celeste Moreau.
Clearly, however, something is going on between him and this Iris, and whoever Iris is, she seems to care.
Even if she is a casual relationship, or new, she deserves an update.
Mei remembers the early days of being with Thomas, and she'd have gone to drastic measures to get news on him if something happened.
So Mei opens up Connor's contacts, searches for Iris – no last name – and presses "Call" before she can think better of it.
Iris picks up on the first ring.
There's a breath of tense silence, then hesitant:
"...yes?"
And that's—
Almost certainly not a girl's voice.
"Is this— This is Mei Vance.
Connor's mother.
I found your— I saw your messages, I thought Connor'd want me to call you."
Now that she's on the phone call, she is absolutely certain this is the opposite of what Connor would want her to do.
Nevertheless, it's too late now and Mei braces for the consequences.
There's a brief silence, then a slightly hoarse male voice says:
"Is he— Mrs. Vance, is Connor—"
The person, almost certainly a man, in Connor's phone has an accent and there's something nagging at the back of her mind about his voice, but Mei doesn't recognize him.
What she recognizes is the fear in his tone, the utter terror behind his broken speech.
The question he can't bring himself to finish.
"He'll be okay," she hurries to reassure him.
"The injury looked worse than it was.
They're not done with tests yet, but he is not in any immediate danger."
The man breathes a sigh of relief.
"I think he'd like you to visit when he wakes up," Mei offers softly.
She can't be sure of that, she knows nothing about their relationship, but it feels like the right thing to say.
The man laughs quietly, with an edge of sadness.
"I'm not sure about that."
"You're Iris, right?
That's how Connor has you saved.
You've been... seeing each other?" It's not a shock that Connor would be seeing a man.
She and Thomas have long thought that he might be inclined to, but they waited for him to say something.
If he ever said something.
Some days Mei has wondered whether Connor was interested in anyone at all; she's heard that some people simply aren't.
She isn't happy that she found out the truth this way.
For many reasons.
"It's not—" It's not serious, he clearly wants to say, but can't bring himself to.
"I want to visit, Mrs. Vance.
I can't."
"He will have a private room.
I could introduce you as... his brother, a family friend, whoever."
"You're very kind, Mrs. Vance."
She wants to tell him to call her Mei.
She also wants to tell him to man up and come to the hospital, but then it hits her he might not even be in the same city.
Connor travels so much that for all she knows, Iris could be from Lakeshore or Gulfport or Ironport...
She wonders how they've met, but Connor is unwillingly dragged to so many events and there are so many apps and websites these days...
"Thank you for calling," the man says.
His voice is steadier now, almost distant.
His accent's less pronounced.
"Tell Connor— Don't tell him nothing.
He'll message me when he's able."
She wants to argue, but the man ends the call.
Mei wants to be angry with him, but mostly she is sad.
And exhausted.
She copies the number into her own phone and shoots him a message just as a nurse steps into the waiting room.
Connor's IrisWe've just spoken on the phone.
I'll let you know if anything changes.
She's let into the hospital room, where her precious son is asleep, broken and bruised.
And completely unaware that his secret has slipped the confines of his phone.
Even when Thomas arrives, and they hug for a long while, she doesn't tell him anything.
She wants to.
The knowledge is gnawing at her mind and ripping into her heart, the loneliness of it all, but Connor has already lost his chance to tell her.
It's his secret to share.
So although she and Thomas have never lied to each other, certainly not when it comes to Connor, she decides to simply put a welcome mat in from of the door for Connor to come out of the closet himself when he feels comfortable to do so.
Mei must be more exhausted than she thought.