Chapter 4

"Oh, you think it was already messed up anyway," I repeated. "So, you stole my name the first time without asking. And when you realized it'd be a hassle to fix the records, you kept using it?"

Laura's face turned red. "Come on, don't be so harsh."

"Harsh?" I pointed at the receipt on the table. "The doctor thinks I've had two kids. And the second time, there was a hemorrhage.

"The doctor asked me today if I'd ever had a blood transfusion because of that. What do you think I am supposed to say? Should I say I don't know, since it wasn't me?"

Laura pressed her lips together.

My mom said, "If the doctor knows it wasn't you, it is okay, right?"

I turned to look at her. "Is that what you think?"

"That's how it is. Medicine's so advanced now. Doctors aren't stupid. Explain it to them, and they won't mistake someone else's body for yours," she said, like it was nothing serious.

I looked at her. Suddenly, I didn't know what to say. It wasn't that she didn't understand. She didn't care.

I asked, "Then why are you so afraid of me changing the records?"

She paused before saying, "We are not."

"If you're not afraid, then why have you been telling me not to file it all afternoon?"

No one said anything.

I looked at Laura. "You said it would stir up a lot of trouble. What kind of trouble?"

Her face changed. "I said it without thinking."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then tell me now. What exactly will happen if I change my records?"

She didn't answer.

My mom walked over and sat down. Her tone suddenly softened. "Kathryn, I know you're angry.

"Anyone would be. We really should've told you about this back then. It was our mistake."

It was the first time she'd ever admitted she was wrong.

But before I could say anything, she kept talking. "But Charlie's already eight years old. Andy's almost five. They don't know anything about this."

I looked at her and waited for her to keep going.

"If you change it now, and the hospital starts digging into the past, what's Laura supposed to do?" she asked. "What about the kids? Kathryn, you're about to be a mom yourself.

"Think about the nephews, okay?"

I asked, "What about my baby?"

She froze. "What?"

"Dr. McCoy told me today that having the wrong medical history could mess up my pregnancy and delivery.

"Do you know what your first reaction was when you found out?"

I looked at her. "You immediately told me not to fix it."

She opened her mouth. "I didn't—"

"Yes, you did." My voice stayed calm. "Eight years ago, Laura needed to have a baby. So, I could forgive her for using my name.

"Four years after that, she had another baby. And you used my name again. Now I'm pregnant myself. And I'm still expected to step aside?"

I paused. "Mom, when do I finally get to matter?"

Her eyes welled up. "How could you say that? Have I ever treated you badly since you were little?"

I didn't say anything.

She started crying. "We put you through college. When you graduated and decided not to come home for work, we supported you.

"When you got married, your dad and I helped you out with money. And now, because of this one thing from the past, you're making me out to be your enemy."

Laura lowered her head, wiping away her tears.

I sat there. Suddenly, I felt exhausted.

It was always the same. Every time I brought something up, my mom would drag out the past twenty-nine years.

She'd mention how she bought me clothes, paid my tuition, and carried me to the hospital when I had a fever.

So, no matter what she did wrong, I was supposed to remember all the good things she'd done for me.

I picked up my water and took a sip. "I never said you were my enemy. I said those two delivery records have to be fixed."

My mom stopped crying. She looked at me. "Can't you wait?"

"Wait for what?"

"Wait until you have the baby. You shouldn't get so worked up right now. Focusing on having the baby is what really matters. After that, we can deal with it."

I couldn't help but laugh. "It has been a temporary thing for eight years."

Her expression froze.

"You let Laura borrow my identity for three years the first time. And after that, you kept using it, right up to now," I added. "And now you want me to wait another half a year?

"Mom, how long am I supposed to keep waiting?"

Laura suddenly looked up. "So, what do you want?" Her voice turned cold. "You want the hospital to dig up everything from the past?

"Then what? You want me to explain it all? You want Charlie and Andy's birth records to get messed up?

"Kathryn, you already know it wasn't you, and the doctor knows it wasn't you, too. What exactly do you want out of this?"

I met her gaze. "I want my records to show only what I've actually been through. It's that simple."

She gritted her teeth. "But if you change it back, it'll affect me."

I nodded. "Yeah. Finally, you're getting to the real trouble."

She froze.

I looked at her, my voice steady. "When you used my name, you never cared how it would affect me.

"But now that I want my identity back, I'm supposed to worry about how it'll affect you?" Why should I?