Chapter 1
When the eerie apocalypse descended, my boyfriend took on one high-risk covert mission after another just to keep me alive. Each time he came to see me, he had to disguise himself as a different person.
The neighborhood committee knew nothing about the truth. Seeing me bring unfamiliar men home again and again, they branded me promiscuous and expelled me from the safe zone.
My workplace followed suit. Citing my "questionable private life," they revoked the position I had emptied my savings to secure.
With my last foothold gone, I could only hide beneath a bridge, sleeping rough, scavenging for food, and living every day with the risk of being torn apart by monsters.
But at least my boyfriend loved me. He came to see me every week, passionate and attentive, burning with affection.
Recently, unable to bear seeing me suffer, he suggested I move in with him.
I was overjoyed. Knowing how busy his work was, I decided to return to the safe zone first, to retrieve the inheritance my parents had left behind. That was when I saw him, standing there in his true appearance.
"Being a woman is so much easier," he said casually. "One month of risking my life out there doesn't earn half as much as she gets from spending a single day with a man. With these supplies, you can lie around comfortably at home for a whole week."
My chest tightened, as if something had crushed my heart.
Sadie Cochran was the spoiled, pretentious junior my boyfriend always mocked and looked down on.
"But this is deception," his friend said uneasily. "What if she finds out those men were never you, that you were just finding sponsors to provide her with supplies?"
My boyfriend let out a dismissive snort.
"So what if she finds out? She loves me so much that even if she does discover the truth, she'll pretend she doesn't. She's afraid I might start looking down on her."
*****
A chill ran down my spine.
Without thinking, I rubbed my arms, my fingers tracing over the jagged scars.
When the apocalypse first hit, we were swarmed by monsters. I shielded Sean Delacruz's back, and one of those things tore a chunk of flesh right out of me.
Everyone told him to just leave me behind, that I could turn into a monster any second.
But he refused. He begged everyone he could find, traded away all our supplies for medicine, and watched over me for three days and nights without leaving once.
When I finally woke up, the first thing I saw was his bloodshot eyes.
Sean pulled me close and said, "Victoria, if you really turn into a monster, I'll let you bite me. We'll change together, no matter what."
The way he held me so tightly. There was no way that was fake.
But right now, the scorn in his voice was unmistakable, just as real as ever.
He said, "Supplies are running out fast. Sadie wanted a lipstick, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it for her. She just hangs out with some guy for a day and, just like that, she's got it.
"We'd been together for three whole years, and she never once noticed when I changed my appearance or pretended to be someone else. Maybe that's exactly how she prefers it."
I was shaking with fury.
There was no way I hadn't sensed something was off.
The very first night he showed up at my place disguised as a stranger, I could tell immediately. He was colder, rougher than usual.
But every time he started talking about how brutal it was out there, about fighting monsters alone day after day, I lost the nerve to press him any further.
I told myself it was stress. Constant exposure to danger, endless missions, of course it would mess with his head, make him volatile, unpredictable.
Then the realization hit me like a punch to the gut. Every single time I thought I was with Sean, I wasn't.
My stomach lurched so violently I thought I was going to throw up on the spot.
I spun around and nearly slammed straight into Sadie. She was humming cheerfully, completely carefree, clearly on her way home.
"Victoria? What are you doing here?" Sadie asked, staring at me in surprise.
I gagged violently and vomited.
All of it splashed straight onto her.
Sadie's scream ripped through the air.
Sean came charging out of the house.
"Sadie! What happened?" he shouted.
He brushed past me without so much as a glance, rushing straight to her side.
"Sean, look at her!" Sadie shrieked, pointing at me furiously. "She's jealous because I got a new dress! She did this on purpose. Threw up all over me! That's disgusting!"
Her finger trembled with rage, her eyes blazing.
I recognized that dress instantly. It was the last birthday gift my mother ever gave me before she died. I'd never been able to bring myself to wear it. I kept it hidden at the back of my closet. The only person who had ever seen it was Sean.
"Victoria? Why are you here?" Sadie asked again.
Only then did Sean finally look at me.
Before I could say a word, he stepped forward and positioned himself squarely in front of Sadie, shielding her, like I was some kind of threat.
"What's wrong with you?" he snapped. "Why are you attacking Sadie for no reason? Apologize. Right now."
The man who used to take my side no matter what. He was gone.
The way he looked at me. The instinctive way he placed himself between us. It cut deeper than anything he could've said.
"Sean, explain this!" I shouted, my voice shaking with anger. "Why did you message me saying the committee wanted me gone, and now you're living in my house with Sadie?"
After the apocalypse, my parents had given their lives to protect the community, so I would have a safe place to live.
Sean knew better than anyone what this house meant to me. It wasn't just shelter. It was everything.
"Your parents entrusted you to me before they died," Sean said, forcing confidence that didn't quite convince. "That makes us family."
He stood there with one hand in his pocket, utterly unashamed.
"Living space is precious these days. You occupying such a big place all by yourself is wasteful. What's wrong with letting a friend stay? Don't be so narrow-minded."
As he spoke, he gently dabbed at Sadie with a tissue, fussing over her as if she were fragile porcelain.