Chapter 3
Richard studied me for two seconds, kissed the corner of my eye, and softened his voice.
"Never mind. Don't sulk."
I almost laughed out loud.
So this was what sulking looked like to him.
It made sense.
For years, when something hurt me, he had held me.
When I was miserable, he had said the right things.
A small gesture from him was all it ever took, and I would put myself back together.
He had probably stopped noticing how easy that was.
I went along with everything that happened in that bed afterward.
He said my name against my skin, and I answered the way I always had.
But it all felt so empty.
It went down like a glass of water left standing on the counter, no taste to it and nothing stirred once it was gone.
Richard noticed fast.
His breathing dropped and he stopped for half a beat.
But he didn't ask a thing.
Richard had a gift for supplying reasons.
He would decide I was like this because of the talk going around, or because Emily had come back, or because work had kept him away from me lately.
He always knew how to downplay things.
By the end, it was like nothing had ever happened.
By the time we were done, the world outside had gone completely quiet.
Richard leaned back against the headboard and lit a cigarette he never smoked, letting it burn down between his fingers.
I lay against his leg and hooked the belt of his robe around my finger, over and over.
It used to be my favorite little thing to do.
When it finally annoyed him, he would catch my hand, bring it up to his mouth, and bite.
But tonight, he didn't move.
He just looked down at me.
He watched me for a long time before finally speaking.
"Next month, on the wedding day, you'll be a bridesmaid," he said.
My fingers paused for a moment.
Richard kept going. "I've looked them over for you. A few of the groomsmen are worth your time. You can meet them there."
The room held still for two seconds.
I raised my head slowly.
He sat there with his robe half open and the cigarette burned nearly to his knuckles, and his face still showed nothing.
He sounded like a man arranging somebody's severance.
Everything was covered, everything was dignified, and I wouldn't come out of it short.
I looked at him and asked softly, "What counts as worth my time?"
Richard's gaze paused for a second.
He said, "Family, character, what they've built. None of them fall short."
"And if I like one, am I dating him, or can I marry him?"
His hand holding the cigarette went still.
"Stella," he said.
I gave him a small smile.
"What's wrong with getting the terms straight?
"It's not every day you take an interest in who I marry."
He caught on.
His eyes dropped by degrees. He crushed the cigarette out on the nightstand, caught my chin, and tipped my face up to his.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he said.
I looked right at him, didn't even blink.
"Nothing," I said.
"I only wanted to ask. There's more than one groomsman, isn't there?
"If the first one doesn't suit me, do I get to move on to the next?"
The air went dead silent.
Whatever Richard had been holding down finally surfaced.
He was angry.
He kept it behind his teeth.
The angrier he got, the less his face gave away. His eyes cooled and his voice dropped, and that was all anyone ever saw of it.
He stared at me for a few seconds, then let out a short, cold laugh.
"You've thought this all the way through."
I smiled too.
"You thought of it first."
Richard didn't say a word.
I pushed myself upright, pulled the blanket over my shoulders, and kept my voice soft.
"Richard, you've arranged every last detail. The least you can do is let me pick.
"If he turns out wrong, I'm the one stuck with him for the rest of my life.
"Or did you only line up the one?"
Richard looked at me, his eyes growing colder and colder.
He was silent for a long moment before finally speaking.
"If you're worried about the future, I can put a settlement together for you."
I looked up at him.
He said it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He had the house, the money, the connections, the next man, and now a settlement to go with them.
He believed he had already gone further than anyone could ask.
It had also never crossed his mind that I might walk away from the place he had put me in.
I watched him quietly for two seconds and then smiled.
"Could you make it a little more?"
Richard's face finally darkened.
He hadn't expected me to take the offer and push.
I kept the same obedient face and the same light voice.
"Do I get the house?
"What about the car?
"And if I stop acting, does my team stay with me?
"And the jewelry you gave me. I can take that with me too, can't I?"