Chapter 3

I held onto the railing, threw one leg over, my body halfway over and dangling above the void.

If I let go, from the 17th floor, it'd be quick and painless. I wouldn't feel a thing.

All the pain and mess in my life would vanish, just like that.

I closed my eyes, ready to let go, when suddenly the sound of a key turning in the lock jolted me awake.

My wife was back!

I hurriedly swung myself back onto the balcony and quickly fixed my clothes.

Composing myself, I walked inside to meet her.

My wife gave me a puzzled look.

"Why'd you run out to the balcony?" she asked.

"Just checking out the scenery," I shrugged it off. "What did you pick up at the store?"

"Got some ribs to stew with green beans, tomatoes for scrambled eggs later, and this fish and tofu for soup tonight..."

I listened absentmindedly, nodding along without really hearing her.

My wife kept rambling about dinner plans, and while I helped her prep the ingredients, my mind was elsewhere, worried she might discover our son in the bedroom.

"Your parents are coming over later to see the baby, so we'll have more people for dinner. We should cook a couple extra dishes," she said.

Suddenly, she complained, "Your mom said she wants to come help with the baby, but I'm telling you, don't let her. The old ways of raising kids are outdated."

"We should take care of our son ourselves, get him started on early education and all that. We don't want the grandparents spoiling him," she added.

I forced a smile. "Relax, I'll never let them watch the baby..."

Each word stabbed at my throat like a needle.

"Your dad likes to drink, so you'll have a drink with him later, but after that, don't go near the baby. Kids are sensitive, even a bit of alcohol is no good for them..." she said.

She was always like this, endlessly arranging everything, like she couldn't rest until every single detail was perfectly planned out.

Suddenly, she said, "Is the baby sleeping in the bedroom? I'm going to check on him."

She set down the vegetables, took off her coat, and headed toward the bedroom.

My heart shot up into my throat, pounding like crazy.

I wanted to stop her, but I couldn't think of a good reason, so I just nervously trailed after her into the bedroom.

The bedroom was eerily silent, not even a whisper in the air.

My wife slowed her steps, gently pushed the door open, and moved inch by inch toward the crib.

If she walked in and saw our son, she'd discover everything—the truth would be out, and there'd be no turning back.

I knew exactly what was coming next. Overwhelmed by despair, I turned my head away, unable to bear watching.

But after a few seconds, I didn't hear my wife scream.

When I snapped out of it, she was standing a few steps from the crib, hesitated for a moment, then turned and walked out.

"The baby just fell asleep. Let's not wake him," she said.

Her words made me breathe a sigh of relief, and I quickly replied,

"Yeah, let him rest. He was playing all afternoon. He must be worn out."

"Why don't you go cook? Ever since I got pregnant and was stuck in confinement, I haven't had your cooking. I've been dying for it. Finally, I get to enjoy it again today," she said.

"I'll stay here and watch him. The baby's... out cold. I can handle it," I replied.

My wife went back to the kitchen, looking relieved, and started getting dinner ready.

I closed the bedroom door, sank to the floor, and kept my distance, staring at the crib, eerily silent, not a single movement.

I buried my face in my hands, and couldn't stop the tears from coming.

Even though I kept trying to act composed, the crushing pressure was more than I could take.

Suddenly, I thought I heard a faint cry coming from the crib.

Was I just imagining things? Or... did my son really come back?

I bit my lip until it bled, the taste of blood filling my mouth. Clinging to a desperate hope, I inched forward, barely daring to move.

I didn't dare go too fast, afraid if I rushed, it'd all be for nothing.

It took me nearly a minute to cross those few meters, silently begging every god, spirit, and demon I knew for a miracle.

When I finally leaned in close, all I saw was my son's cold, lifeless body.

Unwilling to accept it, I reached out and touched his little cheek.

It was already a little stiff.

I just stood there in a daze for ages before I finally had to accept reality.

Just then, the chopping noises from the kitchen suddenly stopped, and I heard her footsteps approaching the bedroom door.

I quickly stepped in front of her, stopping her before she could enter.

"Didn't I say not to wake the baby? What are you doing here again?" I said, acting like I was annoyed.

My wife handed me a stuffed animal.

"I just remembered I picked up a new toy for the baby at the supermarket. Thought I'd bring it to him," she said.

I took the brown teddy bear. "I'll put it by him. You go back to cooking."