Chapter 2

I dropped my eyes to my battered shoes, the soles already peeling away.

The expensive outfit I'd had to put on for the talk was one size too big and it felt awkward and uncomfortable.

After a long moment, I lifted my head and met Dad's eyes with quiet resolve. "I'm not going back home anymore. And I'm done helping you put on this disgusting charade."

I heard my dad's furious voice behind me. "Fine. If you're so tough, don't ever come begging us for money again. You think being in high school means you don't need cash anymore?"

I simply ignored him, walking out of the venue and catching a bus back to my apartment.

The bus was packed, people pressed together like sardines.

A kid's toy got knocked loose and rolled right up to my feet.

I bent down, picked it up, and handed it to the kid who was anxiously pushing through the crowd.

The girl reached out for the toy, her face lighting up with a sweet smile as she looked up at me.

"Thank you," she started saying.

Suddenly, she stared at my face, her eyes going huge, and screamed.

"Monster!" she yelled. "Mommy, help me. It's a monster. She eats people."

She shoved the toy out of my hand, and it clattered to the floor again.

The little glowing ball was so bright, it almost hurt to look at. It quickly rolled under one of the seats and disappeared.

The girl kept stumbling backward, then fell down hard.

Cries and shouts broke out all around as the packed crowd erupted into chaos. Frightened kids started crying, and murmurs spread through the crowd.

The girl's dad hurried over with a stern look and scooped her up protectively.

He looked at me sharply, his voice tight with worry and blame. "How can you show your face looking like this? The least you could do is wear a mask."

I wanted to explain that I'd just forgotten it today, that it was an honest mistake.

I'd worn a mask for ten years straight.

Even after my nose was disfigured and my breathing and sense of smell got worse, I still kept it on.

Wearing a mask made it even harder to breathe. But no matter what, I still wore it every time I stepped outside and every time I had to see someone.

I didn't want to feel too ashamed nor freak people out.

But in that moment, maybe it was the man's naturally accusing tone, or maybe it was because I'd just had a blowout with my parents.

My mind felt hazy. For the first time, I pushed back, unwilling to just accept it.

"It's not like I'm sick or anything," I shot back. "Why should I have to wear a mask all the time?"

The girl had scraped her arm, and now it was bleeding. She started crying and screaming even louder.

The man was still fuming, about to snap back, but the girl's mother stepped in and pulled him back.

Her eyes were red as she scooped the child into her arms. She whispered, "Let it go. She's just a poor kid with a disability."

I gripped the straps of my backpack so hard my knuckles turned white, feeling everyone's eyes on me like knives.

I lowered my eyes, my voice thick with suppressed emotion. "I'm not disabled," I said quietly.

But the weird looks didn't go away.

There were still a few stops left to my rented place.

I reached into my pocket and touched the mask. Just thinking about putting it on made me feel like I couldn't breathe.

So I got off the bus early and walked home, even though it'd take me more than half an hour.

The neighborhood was pretty run-down, and by evening, the front gate was packed with people coming and going.

I always hugged the far edge of the sidewalk, with my mask pulled up tight, hiding as much of my face as I could.

I turned my face to the right, dodging people's eyes whenever I could.

But I still couldn't escape the whispers.

"Look at how she walks. It's so weird."

"Did you see? She doesn't even have a nose."

"Wait, no nose? How does she breathe?"

"Guess she just uses her mouth. Can't just not breathe, right?"

"How pitiful."

The wind picked up.

The streetlights came on, and people gathered in small groups to chat.

The world around me seemed even emptier.

I climbed the stairs, dug out my keys, and stepped inside. The apartment was dark and silent.

I ripped off my mask, slumped against the wall, and finally let myself take a deep breath.

This was the best part of my day because it was the only time I could really breathe.

Out of nowhere, a memory from elementary school popped into my head.

The teacher had asked us to write about our dreams.

I secretly jotted mine down in my notebook. [My dream is that one day, I won't have to wear a mask anymore. And maybe, just maybe, I'll have a friend to talk to.]

By chance, the teacher decided on a whim to have us swap essays and grade each other's work.

My essay got passed to a boy in the class.

For the remaining half of the period, I ended up being the butt of the whole class's jokes.

"She doesn't have a nose and she wants to walk around without a mask? Is she trying to freak people out?"

"If you become friends with her, will your nose disappear too?"

"My mom says her nose was bitten off by a dog."

"Only bad kids get bitten by dogs."

"Who wants to be friends with a bad kid?"

After that, I never dared to bring up my wishes of not wearing a mask anymore and having a friend.

One day in class, the teacher was reading us a picture book and got to the part where Pinocchio's nose grew longer every time he told a lie.

Everyone in class started giggling and whispering.

I asked to move to the very back row but I could still feel their eyes on me.