Chapter 2
I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes were red. I reached behind me, fumbling for the zipper.
The zipper was too high for me to reach, so the sales assistant hurried over to help.
The fabric slipped off my shoulders, and the cold air brushed against my skin, making me shiver.
"You're right," I brought the phone closer, my voice so steady it barely sounded like me. "I shouldn't have to put myself through this."
He went quiet on the other end.
After hanging up, I slipped out of the wedding dress and back into my sweater dress.
The sales assistant stood off to the side, holding the wedding dress, her lips moving as she hesitated. "Ms. Lane, about the final payment..."
I took out my card and handed it over. "Charge it."
She looked surprised. "But the wedding..."
"It's for the dress, not the wedding," I said.
I stared at the wedding dress cradled in her arms, running my fingertip across the spotless tulle. The little sparkles scratched at my skin. "This is a lesson I need to learn."
The card reader gave a beep, and the receipt popped out.
I pressed down so hard as I signed my name, the pen nearly ripped through the paper, leaving a deep, uneven mark.
By the time I stepped out of the bridal shop, the sky had turned gray, and the wind was whipping dust into my face.
My phone kept buzzing, Ethan called three times in a row.
I didn't pick up a single one.
When the fourth call came in, I powered off my phone.
Across the street, a billboard was playing a jewelry commercial, a couple smiling at each other, their rings shining so brightly under the lights it was almost blinding.
I stood at the curb, my fingers brushing against the pregnancy test printout inside my purse.
The paper was creased from how tightly I'd been holding it, its sharp corners biting into my palm.
I'm sorry, baby.
It's not that I don't want to tell him, baby.
He doesn't deserve to know.
When I got back to the apartment I shared with Ethan, there was a pink suitcase sitting by the door.
It had a bunny sticker on it, and next to it was a pair of silver high heels, the kind with stiletto heels so thin they looked like they could stab right through the carpet.
I unlocked the door, and as soon as I pushed it open, a wave of sickly sweet perfume washed over me, mixed with the greasy smell of takeout fried chicken. It had my stomach flipping.
On the coffee table in the living room, two marriage certificates were spread out, their red covers pressed down on the glass I'd bought.
Chloe was sitting on the couch, bare feet on a pillow, biting into a chicken wing as she glanced up at me.
She was young; her face still had that sharpness of someone untouched by life's hardships. Her hair was dyed light brown, and she wore silver hoop earrings.
Ethan was standing in the open kitchen, pouring water, still wearing the black shirt I'd bought for him.
When he saw me, his brows furrowed for a moment before he relaxed. "Liv, you're back."
He said it like it was nothing.
Like there wasn't another woman sitting right there, like those marriage certificates on the table hadn't wrecked five years of my life.
Chloe tossed the chicken bone into the box and gave my dress a once-over. "So you're Olivia Lane?"
I ignored her and walked straight into the bedroom.
Ethan followed me in and stood in front of the closet, blocking my way. "Hey, don't be like that. Chloe wanted to check out the place I used to live."
"Move," I said.
"Liv."
He reached for my shoulder, but I dodged him.
His hand hung in the air; the watch on his wrist was the birthday present I'd saved up three months' worth of bonuses for last year.
I opened the closet and started pulling out my clothes, one by one.
Ethan watched me pack, his voice barely above a whisper. "Are you really leaving?"
"What, you want me to stay and make the bed for you two?"
His face darkened.
From the living room, Chloe called out, "Ethan, why is your fridge full of her yogurt? Where's my sparkling water?"
Ethan turned around. "I'll pick some up for you later."
I stuffed my underwear into the duffel bag, but as I was about to zip it up, Ethan's hand pressed down on mine.
"Olivia, let's not make this ugly," Ethan said, looking at me. "Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."
I looked up at him. "I want you to get as far away from me as possible."
I finally saw a crack in his composure.
"Five years, and that's all you have to say?"
I gave a bitter laugh, the pain scraping at my throat. "So five years is something you can throw on the table and bargain with?"
Ethan's hand tightened around the zipper, making it creak. "I'm not trying to shortchange you. You can stay in the apartment for six months, take the car, and I'll wire you about 167,000 dollars."
"Wow, how generous of you."
"Olivia, don't be so sarcastic," Ethan said, letting out a breath and softening his voice. "I know this is tough for you, but feelings aren't something you can tally up. When I'm with Chloe, it's like I finally feel alive."
Feel alive.