Chapter 1
During the debate competition, Ryan Brooks taught Lucine White to tear open my old scars in front of everyone so she could win.
"Megan, do people who broke down after being sexually assaulted really have any right to talk about being strong here?" Lucine sneered.
Later, at the celebration party, everyone was huddled together, gossiping away.
The boy who once promised to protect me for life was now grinning as he exposed my trauma in front of everyone.
"When she was thirteen, the landlord got drunk and let himself in with his key. After that... Well, you know the rest," Ryan said.
As people burst out laughing, Ryan just smirked. "Alright, enough talking. She's petty. If she finds out, she'll make a scene."
I stood quietly outside the door and didn't push it open.
Ryan always thought I was damaged and stained, that nobody but him would ever want me.
But he had no idea that I'd already signed the papers to study abroad in Francia.
In seven days, I'd vanish from his life forever.
*****
The debate was heating up, with Ryan and me each leading our own team.
Just when victory was within our grasp, Lucine, the fourth speaker for the opposing side, stood up.
She said, "The other side thinks that people who've been through tough times are stronger.
So, can I ask Megan a question?"
She shot me a smile which was sweet on the surface, but with a hint of cruelty underneath.
Lucine said, "You were sexually assaulted when you were a kid, and even now, you're still struggling with it. You can't even talk to guys like a normal person.
'Is that really what you mean by being stronger after everything you've been through?"
The whole room instantly fell silent.
My mind went blank. I was frozen in place.
That was the nightmare I'd buried deepest, and Ryan was the only one here who knew.
I shot a sharp look at him.
Ryan, who'd been slouching in his seat, suddenly froze.
As soon as our eyes met, his expression flickered. Panic flashed across his face, and he instinctively looked away.
The crowd whispered, "Wow, is that true?"
"Did that really happen to Megan?"
"Seriously? That's disgusting."
Whispers and gossip surged through the room like a tidal wave.
I tried to speak, but nothing came out.
A suffocating pressure clamped down on my throat. My hands and feet turned cold and numb, and my stomach twisted into knots.
The host's voice became distant and muffled. I pushed the table away and stumbled out, barely aware of the shocked faces watching me.
Crouched in the cold corner of the restroom, I bit down so hard on my arm that I left bloody marks all over my skin.
Outside, footsteps and laughter drifted in.
They gossiped, "What was up with Megan just now? She just bolted. So irresponsible, right?"
"Yeah, even if she got hit where it hurts, she can't just ditch the whole team like that."
"But honestly, Lucine's move was brutal, but it totally turned the tables. Her team ended up winning."
"Ryan is so good to Lucine. He was totally hands-on with her training. Did you see the way he looked at Lucine when they won?"
Their footsteps faded away.
My hands were trembling as I pulled out my phone. The screen lit up.
The debate club group chat was blowing up.
In the video, Ryan was surrounded by people, holding the trophy that symbolized their victory.
Lucine was right by his side, beaming.
Someone shouted, "Ryan, give her a hug! Pick up our MVP!"
Ryan glanced down at Lucine, and she blushed, giving a cute little stomp with her foot.
Then, with everyone laughing and cheering, Ryan grinned, reached out, and lifted Lucine by the waist, giving her a quick spin.
I shut my eyes, and burning tears finally spilled over, unstoppable.
With shaky hands, I clicked open the email my advisor, Diana, sent me a few days back.
Spots for the year-long exchange at the Parion Art Institute were seriously hard to get.
But Diana said I was the student she believed in most.
What did I say back then?
I said, "Thank you, Ms. Lewis. But there's someone here I can't let go of."
How pathetic.
With trembling hands, I opened the email and pulled up the reply box.
My fingers paused above the screen for a moment, and then I typed out my reply, determined as ever.
It read: [Thank you so much for your recommendation, Ms. Lewis. I really appreciate this opportunity and I'm confirming my participation.]
Ryan's text popped up on my screen. [Celebration at the usual spot, 7 p.m. Waiting for you.]
No apology, no explanation.
He didn't mention at all how Lucine knew about my past.
I absolutely didn't want to go.
But after agonizing over it, I texted: [Okay.]
I wanted to give everything between us over the past ten years a decent ending.
I'd lay it all out face-to-face, and then put an end to it for good.