Chapter 6
It felt like the last bit of strength inside me vanished all of a sudden.
Myron jumped up, flustered, and helped steady me as I got to my feet.
"Come on, let's get you to the hospital. I told you not to overdo..." he said.
Before he could finish, he looked at my face and suddenly seemed to get it.
He asked, "Is Alyssa still crashing at your place?"
I couldn't get a word out.
My vision spun, my legs gave out, and I almost hit the floor.
Myron, quick as ever, caught me before I could fall.
After hesitating for a moment, he picked me up bridal style and rushed out of the institute.
I could hear Myron's voice, burning with indignation for me.
He said, "So what if he lost his memory?
"What kind of brother just ditches his own sister for years, just because of some outsider? How could someone like that possibly be worth holding on to?"
I whispered, "I'm not holding on anymore.
"Not this time. I mean it."
Clive really did forget, like I never even existed, wiped clean from his memory.
After ten years of fighting a losing battle, I had no choice but to accept it.
Myron hurried out with me in his arms.
But just as we reached the institute's entrance, someone blocked our way.
Suddenly, I heard Clive's voice, cold and furious, right by my ear.
He said, "Put her down.
"Lucia, what the hell do you think you're doing, hugging someone in front of everyone like this?"
Myron refused to let go, snorting as he shot back for me.
He said, "Didn't you stop caring about Lucia a long time ago? Who are you trying to fool now?"
Clive's voice grew even more furious.
He said, "She can do whatever she wants, but don't disgrace the Woods family or me.
"Besides, Alyssa's still in school. She can't afford any scandal."
It was always about Alyssa.
In the past ten years, the only times Clive ever came looking for me were pretty much always because of Alyssa.
The argument was getting louder, and people started gathering around.
Just like always, even a few of the institute's professors started speaking up for Clive.
One of them said, "Myron, this is a family matter. You really shouldn't get involved."
Another chimed in, "Lucia, if you have something to say, just talk it out with your brother.
"He cares about you, you know. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you, would he?"
Another professor said, "We've all seen how things have been between you two all these years."
All I had left was this overwhelming sense of powerlessness.
I ended up sleeping for ages.
When I finally woke up, I was lying in my room at the base housing.
The window was cracked open, and Clive was sitting right by it.
It felt like the first time in ten years he'd ever set foot in my bedroom.
It took me a while to notice the ember of a cigarette between his fingers.
He was actually smoking. The ashtray on the coffee table was full of cigarette butts.
He'd been a soldier for ten years, and ever since he was a kid, he'd always kept himself in check.
I had no idea he even smoked.
I was so shocked, I sat there, totally spaced out for ages.
All these years, we'd been at each other's throats.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd really taken a good look at him.
He kept his head down, and in the dim light, his figure was almost lost in the shadows.
I couldn't make out his expression.
But then, I realized that he looked so much thinner than before.
Even from the side, his cheeks and the hollows under his eyes looked sunken.
Maybe it was all the worry over Alyssa, or maybe it was the endless grind at the camp.
Either way, it sure wasn't because of me.
I looked at him.
Maybe it was because I'd finally made up my mind to leave, but I felt strangely calm.
Clive finished his cigarette, then finally seemed to notice I was awake and glanced over at me.
He barely even blinked when he saw me awake.
He stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray.
He stood up, his tone still indifferent, barely showing any concern.
He said, "You're awake, that's good. If you're sick, just stay home for a few days.
"You're a girl. Try to mind your behavior.
"Even if you two are close, don't go clinging to him."
After all these years, this was the first time Clive bothered to act like he cared about me.
If only I could even call it caring.
My heart felt all clogged up, as if I couldn't breathe.
But when I opened my mouth, I just went right back to snapping at him—old habits die hard.
I said, "Myron's doing just fine.
"Stay out of my business."
Clive shot me a frown. "Is he really that great?
"Can he be there for you through everything, taking care of you in every little way, as family would?
"Can he honestly treat you with nothing but good intentions—no hidden motives at all?"
For ten years, he was my brother, but he never gave a damn about me.
And now, he had the nerve to talk about being "as family."
I let out a bitter laugh, not sure if it was from all the hurt or anger.
I said, "Of course he can.
"He's been looking out for me all these years. He's way better than my own brother ever was."
Clive's expression hardened, clearly annoyed by my words. He didn't say a word for a long time.
After a while, he gave a cold, sarcastic chuckle. "Yeah, good for you."
There was a knock at the bedroom door, and Alyssa's soft voice floated in.
She asked, "Clive, is Lucia feeling any better?"
Clive was already used to Alyssa seeing him as a brother.
When he replied, his voice was gentler than usual.
He said, "She's awake, nothing to worry about."
"If you want to come in and see her, go ahead."
I said sharply, "I don't want to see her."
My own brother had been snatched away by her.
Now that I was leaving, at least for once I could be selfish. I didn't want to see her anymore.
No matter how much I'd been hurt before, at least in my own bedroom, I could always decide who wasn't allowed in.
But this time, Clive's voice was cold and hard.
Clive said, "She just wants to see you.
"Lucia, a few days ago she got really freaked out because of your cat that died. Don't upset her again."
How many times had he brought up Alyssa getting scared over the cat that died?
The memory of Jelly's tragic death came rushing back to me.