Chapter 3

Behind me, Clive grabbed my arm, clearly pissed off.

He snapped, "Quit being so dramatic and acting like you're the victim.

"Lucia, what's your deal?"

I swallowed the surge of emotion, forcing myself to pull it together.

The doctor said not to force him to remember.

It had been ten years.

If he could remember, he would've remembered by now.

I calmly pushed his hand off me as I spoke. "Nothing."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Clive looking desperate and lost, just for a second.

I went back to my hospital room.

Outside, the snow was bleak and endless. I just stared outside, my mind wandering.

This was my tenth winter since everything changed, and suddenly, I couldn't make sense of it anymore.

I'd spent ten years stubbornly refusing to walk away.

What was I even clinging to? What was I still hoping for?

The Clive from ten years ago was gone for good. He'd never come back.

And deep down, I knew that better than anyone.

After I got discharged, I brought my cat's body back to the base housing and buried it beneath the old locust tree out back.

Dad planted that tree when he was still around, and it had grown huge, its branches like a canopy.

Maybe burying my cat here meant my parents could watch over it now.

After burying Jelly, I went back inside and packed up a few of my things.

I opened the drawer and dug out the admission letter from the bottom.

It was my grad school offer in quantum chemistry, which I got two years ago. It was still good for three years.

It was a brand-new field, with acceptance rates so low, it was basically a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Two years ago, I ended up turning it down because the school was all the way in Arioville, thousands of miles away.

Clive's memory loss made me uneasy. I couldn't trust that he'd be okay on his own.

I was afraid that Alyssa or someone else might try to mess with him.

If I wasn't around, who'd have his back?

But now...

I wasn't about to sacrifice my whole future to stick around for someone who only resented me.

Just as I was stuffing the last piece of clothing into my bag, a voice as cold as ice suddenly came from the doorway. "What are you doing?"

I glanced over and saw Clive standing at the bedroom door, his face tight with tension.

He was still in his military uniform, but the sixteen-year-old kid I used to know was nowhere to be found in his expression.

I barely looked at him before turning away.

When I spoke, I didn't give him the real reason.

"The research institute's been keeping me busy, so I decided to just move over there," I said.

There was no need for him to know I was leaving.

If he acted like he didn't care, maybe that would hurt more than I'd like to admit.

In this world, neither of us had parents anymore.

We were all each other had left.

Clive stood there, staring at my bag for a long time.

He let out a flat "Oh," and didn't ask anything else.

He turned and walked straight downstairs, without a backward glance.

I went through my books one last time, then glanced at the photo frame sitting by my bed.

Inside was a picture of me and my parents, taken the year they passed away.

On the day we were supposed to take our family photo, Clive was off messing around with the new recruits and playing ball, and he'd totally forgotten about it.

My parents shrugged and said not to worry about him, so it ended up being the three of us in the shot. They promised we'd take a proper family photo with all four of us another day.

But not long after, the fighting on the southern border got worse.

My parents and Clive were sent off to the front lines, and not long after, my parents were dead, and Clive lost his memory.

We could never complete that family photo.

That photo of the three of us was like a sign of what was to come.

Clive forgot all about us and ended up living in his own world.

I tried for ten years, but in the end, I couldn't pull him back.

I blinked back tears as I slipped the family photo into my bag.

Just as I was about to leave, Clive suddenly came back upstairs.

He was holding a plate, looking kind of awkward.

"Alyssa said we should have turkey for Thanksgiving Day, and I accidentally made too much. Here, have some," he said.

I stared at the steaming plate of turkey.

After a long moment, I couldn't bring myself to say no.

We'd been siblings for over twenty years.

He took care of me with everything he had, even more than our parents, all the way until he turned sixteen.

I thought, 'Let this be the last time.

'Once we finish this turkey, that's it for us as siblings.'

I sat at the coffee table, eating turkey. The taste was so familiar; it took me right back.

Clive started cooking for me when he was eight, standing on a stool to reach the stove.

Suddenly, I realized my tears were dropping into the plate.

Clive sat across from me, clearly uncomfortable and unsure what to say.

He said, "What happened to the cat wasn't Alyssa's fault. She was with me the whole time.

"Maybe I can help you adopt another cat someday."

My voice was hoarse as I replied, "No."

Clive looked like he didn't know what to say.

After a long pause, he finally spoke up.

"Esme said you're going to visit Mom and Dad's grave tomorrow," he said.

I looked up at him.

Tomorrow was the day Mom and Dad died. And since I was leaving soon, I'd go see them one last time.

Clive shifted his gaze, looking awkward and uneasy.

"I'll go with you," he muttered.

For ten years, every time Mom and Dad's anniversary came around, I was always the one begging and pushing Clive to go with me.

This was the first time he suggested it himself.

I kept my head down, poking at the turkey on my plate.

A small dollop of cranberry sauce sat beside it, and I didn't eat cranberry sauce, but he had forgotten that.

Still, I forced myself to finish it, pushing past my dislike, and quietly replied, "Okay."

Clive was quiet for a long moment, then finally spoke up, choosing his words carefully.

"Alyssa was really shaken up too. Just don't go after her again, okay?" he said.

The little bit of warmth I'd just felt was instantly washed away, like a bucket of ice water dumped over me.

So that was why he suddenly started acting nice.

The turkey sitting in my stomach suddenly turned my stomach.

I put down my fork, took a long moment to steady myself, then stood up.