Chapter 5

Becca

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I barely made it back to my room before my legs gave out.

My whole body was shaking so badly I had to brace myself against the door just to stay upright.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

What did I just do?

I pressed my palms over my eyes, but it didn’t help.

It was still there. Everything.

His hands on my throat. The ghost of his grip burning into my hips. The ache between my legs. His teeth on my neck. Those violent blue eyes. His ruthless lips...

No one had ever made me feel like that before.

Wanted.

Owned.

It had been the hottest thing I'd ever experienced in my entire life. And it was with my best friend’s Dad.

I dragged a hand through my damp hair.

This wasn't me.

I didn't do things like this.

I was the responsible one. The girl who looked after her brother, kept her grades up, and stayed out of trouble. The girl who smiled politely and said thank you even when she wanted to scream.

I didn't do reckless.

I didn't make impulsive decisions.

I definitely didn't blow up my entire life in a single night.

Blame it on the alcohol, Becca.

Yeah.

Blame it on whatever the hell you drank tonight.

Ignore the fact that your body is still aching in the best and worst way possible and you kind of... want to do it again.

Click.

The lights snapped on.

I screamed.

Properly.

Full, humiliating horror-movie scream.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Ashley.

She was perched on my bed like she'd been waiting.

My heart almost stopped.

"Uh-uh." I stuttered. “Walking.”

"Walking." Ashley stood up slowly. "For an hour."

I didn't answer.

She tilted her head, eyes scanning me from head to toe. "You're soaking wet."

My brain scrambled. "I... went for a swim."

"In your dress?"

I looked down. My dress was... oh fuck… the fabric was plastered to my skin, dripping onto the floor and forming a small puddle around my feet.

"I…yeah. I needed to clear my head."

She moved closer, her gaze narrowing. "You smell like alcohol."

My pulse kicked up.

"And expensive cologne."

I froze.

She leaned in even closer, actually sniffing me like I was some kind of evidence. "Did you use my perfume?"

My throat tightened.

"I—"

"Of course you did." She rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Was that before or after you stormed out of my party like some dramatic psycho?"

I just stared at her.

For a second, I genuinely thought she was joking.

Instead, she folded her arms.

"My guests have been arriving, by the way."

I blinked.

"What?"

"My guests. Important people." She gestured around us. "You disappeared and left me to handle everything alone."

I couldn't even process the words.

She was annoyed.

Actually annoyed.

Not guilty.

Not ashamed.

Not even uncomfortable.

Just annoyed at me.

Like she hadn't shattered something between us beyond repair.

Like she hadn't done what she'd done.

"Your guests?" I repeated.

"Yes, Becca." Her voice dripped with impatience. "My guests. At my party. On my island."

I stared at her face, searching for something.

Anything.

Remorse.

Embarrassment.

Guilt.

Nothing.

Just irritation that I wasn't behaving the way she wanted me to.

And suddenly the hurt that had been sitting in my chest all night curdled into something hotter.

"How dare you."

She blinked.

"What?"

"How dare you stand there and act like we're best friends when you literally had your legs open for my boyfriend."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, are you still on that?"

"Still on that?" My voice cracked. "It happened an hour ago!"

"And you need to get over it." She moved closer, her voice dropping into that dangerous register. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was tipsy. Jason was there. Things happened."

My stomach twisted.

"I can't even look at you right now." My voice was shaking and I hated it. I hated that she could still make me feel like this…small and powerless and wrong.

“Becca—"

"No."

I backed away.

“I want to leave. I don't care how. I just want out of here."

"It's my birthday weekend." Her voice softened instantly. Ashley style manipulation switch. Right on schedule. "And you're my best friend."

I laughed. A broken, disbelieving sound.

"Best friends don't fuck each other's boyfriends, Ashley."

"He kissed me." She crossed her arms defensively. "I told you that. And yeah, maybe I kissed him back for like two seconds before I pushed him off, but…"

"I saw you. Both of you. Don't gaslight me right now, I literally cannot…"

"Fine. You know what? Fine." She threw her hands up dramatically. "You want to leave? Go. Leave. But let’s talk about something first." She stepped even closer, invading my space completely. "When your trailer's roof caved in from the snow last winter... who did you call?"

I closed my eyes.

No.

"Who paid for the repairs, Becca? Who made sure you and Luke had somewhere warm to sleep?"

"Ashley, don't…"

"And when Luke relapsed. Again. Who picked you up from that horrible facility and put him on Carson Medical's best treatment plan?"

My throat tightened.

"Who makes sure your tuition gets paid every single semester? Who got you that Carson Foundation scholarship in the first place?" Her voice was sweet now. Too sweet.

And I finally understood.

I won’t get an apology out of her.

Every favor.

Every gift.

Every act of kindness.

That was the bill.

She paid for it.

She owed me nothing.

Not even an apology.

"I have always been there for you. Always.” She continued softly. “And you're really going to let some guy…some mediocre guy who can't even kiss properly…come between all of that?"

The worst part?

She believed it.

She believed that made everything okay.

For the first time, I saw the truth clearly.

Ashley didn't need my friendship.

I needed hers.

At least that's what she'd spent years making me believe.

And she knew it.

"Say you'll stay." She was demanding it now, not asking. "Come on. Say it."

Luke's face flashed in my mind.

His wheelchair. His medication bottles lined up on the windowsill. The hope in his eyes every time he talked about walking again.

The hope the Carson Foundation paid for.

I swiped at a tear sliding down my cheek. "I'll stay."

"Good." She pulled me into a hug that felt more like a cage closing around me. "That's why I love you."

I didn't hug back.

She pulled away, reaching down to pick something up from the nightstand.

My phone.

"Here. You dropped this." She handed it to me, rolling her eyes. "Quit being so klutzy. You're always dropping stuff everywhere."

I didn't remember dropping it. But then again, I didn't remember much after watching Jason flip her on her back so he could fuck her harder.

God.

Let it go, Becca.

I took the phone because what else could I do?

"Get some sleep," she said, heading for the door with that practiced grace that made everything look effortless. "You'll feel better tomorrow once the party really kicks off. Okay? BFF?"

She blew me a kiss and left.

The second the door clicked shut, I collapsed onto the bed.

My body still trembled all over.

I should have been furious with Ashley.

I was furious with Ashley.

But do I even have the right to be angry anymore?

The thought made me sick.

An hour ago, I'd been the victim.

The girl whose boyfriend cheated.

The girl everyone should have felt sorry for.

Now?

I squeezed my eyes shut.

My mind drifted back to him…

Alaric.

The ruthless tycoon railing me in his infinity pool.

The stretch. The burn. The way he didn't hold back even a little bit…didn't give me soft or gentle or careful. Just raw and brutal and exactly what I'd begged for.

It was reckless.

It was wrong.

And yet, it felt like a drug I'd never known I was craving.

And the worst part?

The absolute worst part?

He was still here.

Right here.

Just a stone path away in his penthouse suite.

And I was supposed to spend an entire weekend on his island.

How long before he learned who I was?

How long before he realized he just fucked his daughter's best friend?

My stomach dropped.

What if he already knew?

What if he was piecing everything together right now?

Oh God.

What if he's on his way here?