Chapter 1

While we were out shopping, I stopped to tie my shoelace.

When I looked up again, my boyfriend Robert and my best friend Nia were already ten feet ahead.

I was about to step forward to catch up, but the space between them — the space that had always been mine — was slowly closing.

They fell into step side by side, picking up a conversation I had no way of joining.

As if there had never been a third person there at all.

Back in school, Robert and Nia were the ones everyone called gifted.

After graduation, Robert and Nia became the youngest attending physicians at the hospital.

No matter how hard I pushed myself, I could only trail behind them — just another ordinary nurse.

Robert would always ruffle my hair and say,

"You're adorable, even when you're clueless."

Then he'd turn around and seamlessly perform one complex surgery after another with Nia.

Watching their backs, I suddenly felt exhausted.

This road I had been walking — always chasing after Robert — I didn't want to walk it anymore.

We turned the corner, and Robert and Nia disappeared from view entirely.

Not once, from start to finish, had either of them turned around to check if I was keeping up.

I stood there quietly for a moment, then turned and walked away.

Back at the hospital, a coworker raised an eyebrow and leaned over.

"Didn't you switch shifts to go on a date? That was fast."

"Yeah. It's done."

I changed into my scrubs and sat back down at my station.

The hospital kept us all busy. Over the course of a year, Robert and I had been on proper dates fewer than ten times.

Today he had a rare day off, and I'd called in a favor with a coworker to swap shifts in advance.

I thought that even just holding hands and walking around the neighborhood together would be enough.

Then Nia showed up out of nowhere and threw everything off.

Before we left, I'd made a point of telling them — with a straight face — not to talk about work. Not one word.

Both of them had pinched my cheeks and nodded eagerly.

"Okay, okay. We get it."

But halfway through dinner, someone brought it up, and before long the two of them were going back and forth about patient cases.

I sat there beside them, pushing rice around my plate.

I don't even remember when the check was paid.

Then the landline at the nurses' station rang, snapping me back.

My coworker had already picked up. A car accident up north — several people were being rushed into the ER.

I was about to text Robert when a message from him came through first.

"Patient came in. Nia and I are heading back to the hospital."

I turned the screen off and sat there, blank.

He still hadn't asked, not even once, where I had gone.

After my last procedure of the day, I ran into Robert in the hallway. He looked worn out.

I kept my eyes straight ahead and didn't fall into my usual habit of fussing over him.

But the moment we crossed paths, he caught my wrist.

He buried his face in the curve of my neck — a habit of his.

"What's wrong? Don't recognize your own boyfriend?"

Every time he came home after a long shift, he'd do this. Said it was how he "recharged."

My mind told me to pull away. But there was a dull ache spreading through my chest that I couldn't explain.

It had taken me three years to go from quietly loving Robert to actually standing by his side.

The day we got together, someone in our cohort immediately started a side bet on how long we'd last.

Because honestly, the gap between us was hard to ignore.

Robert had been at the top of his class every single year.

Me? Since elementary school, I'd had teachers point fingers in my face and call me stupid.

The one who'd stepped in front of me with open arms back then was Nia.

I knew I wasn't the smart one. I always needed Robert's patience and Nia's encouragement just to keep going.

So even though I had made up my mind —

the moment he leaned in close, all that resentment I had been holding onto began quietly dissolving.

We sat together in an empty stairwell. It was a rare moment alone.

In the silence, Robert finally spoke.

"Maya."

"Yeah?"

"Can you try to act a little more mature from now on?"

I blinked, caught off guard.

After a long pause, I slowly turned to look at him.

"What?"

His eyes were closed. His voice was flat — the way you'd talk about the weather.

"This afternoon you disappeared without saying a word. You had Nia and me worried sick."

"We both finally had a day off. Even if you don't care about me, you could at least consider Nia. She's not your babysitter."

I didn't move.

But I felt like something inside me had cracked open, and cold air was rushing in.

Worried about me? Then why wasn't there a single call or text on my phone?

Was it worry — or was I just ruining their day?

"Look at you. I say two things and you're already crying."

Robert's expression was full of resignation.

The way he looked at me was the way you look at a child who refuses to grow up.

I dropped my head. Tears hit the front of my shirt, leaving a damp patch.

"Okay. It won't happen again."

He sighed and patted the top of my head.

"Go home and get some rest. Nia and I still need to go over a treatment plan."

After Robert left, my phone rang.

It was my dad.

"Hey sweetheart, didn't you say you were bringing your boyfriend over for dinner? Still at work?"

I pressed my hand hard over my mouth so he wouldn't hear me break.

"Honey? Maya?"

It took a while before I could speak normally.

"Dad. He's not coming."