Chapter 2
I had no idea how to deal with Sophie's praise. Feeling awkward, I could only turn and make a run for it.
Behind me, her girlish, bell-like laughter echoed in the air.
But then, one day, her laughter disappeared. The bright smile that used to light up her face was replaced by a cloud of sadness.
I heard her family was going through some kind of trouble.
I could only watch from afar, anxious and helpless, not knowing how to reach out to her or offer any comfort.
Back then, I was so insecure that the only thing I could think of was something awkward and silly.
So I began writing her letters.
Every three days, I'd slip a letter into Sophie's desk during lunch break when no one was around. By the time finals ended, I'd written exactly ninety-nine letters.
Even though I never told her how I felt, just seeing her smile again was enough to make me happy.
When we went to college, we ended up at different schools. Slowly, I started to come out of my shell and get over my social anxiety.
I tried all sorts of things, working part-time, writing web novels, and developing games.
Some girls from my college confessed their feelings to me, but my heart still couldn't let go of her, the girl with the swinging high ponytail.
After that, I heard Sophie and Benjamin went to the same college.
Not long after, word got around that they were dating.
It seemed their relationship was official.
Benjamin had been in my high school class. I knew their parents were friends, both were big names in the business world.
They were childhood friends. Their families were perfectly matched.
I knew then that my first love had ended before it even began.
I couldn't really put it into words, but I just lost interest in writing novels and ended up pouring all my energy into gaming.
Games were the thing that helped me escape my social anxiety, so I loved them for that.
But life was full of surprises.
After graduation, I headed to another city for an interview at a big gaming company, and that was when I saw her again.
She was different. The high ponytail was gone, replaced by shoulder-length hair. The bright, sunny girl I remembered was curled up by the roadside, trying to stifle her sobs.
If it happened all over again, I knew I still wouldn't be able to leave her alone. I'd find myself drawn to her once more.
That was the kind of impact my first crush had on me.
When I saw her again, the first thing out of Sophie's mouth was, "Benjamin is a liar and a total jerk!"
She was different now. She hardly ever smiled, and no matter who she was talking to, her face always seemed cold and distant.
But honestly, I couldn't care less. I was already in love with her.
We were high school classmates, and now that we lived in the same city, it was only natural that we'd grow closer.
So, I started to learn a lot about Sophie.
It turned out that the trouble she faced in high school was that her parents had been in a car accident.
Charlie was managing her parents' company for them.
Charlie and Sophie's father were close friends. Before either of them passed away, they made a promise to each other.
If something happened, they'd take care of each other's kids until they graduated from college.
Sophie had already started interning at the company her parents had left behind for her.
She told me that this company was the last thing her parents left behind in this world.
She wanted to hold on to the company to protect what her parents left behind.
I told her, "That's exactly what you need to do."
At the café, I watched her sit there, expressionless, and my heart ached for her.
On the surface, she looked like an ice queen ready to take over. But I knew she was once just a girl who couldn't stop smiling.
She nodded and said, "Let's get married."
Honestly, my mind went blank when I heard that.
I wasn't even sure if I liked the person she was now. In my heart, she was still that bright, sunny girl from before.
It was almost impossible to connect her with the cold, distant beauty sitting across from me.
Out of nowhere, she just asked me to marry her.
"Charlie Clarke said he won't vote for me to become CEO unless I get married and look like I'm living a happy life," Sophie said.
Her voice was so calm, it was like she was just negotiating a business deal.
"Why me?" I asked.
I kept my cool, but deep down, I could feel my heart racing for her.
She was about to be the CEO of a major company, and me? I'd probably just be some nobody punching the clock.
The difference between us was massive. Maybe this was the only shot I'd ever get to actually be a part of her world.
She lowered her gaze, staring at her coffee cup as she stirred it.
"Because you're the closest guy to me who's the right age," she said.
I couldn't help but smile. That answer was so in line with the cold, businesslike vibe Sophie had now.
"Okay," I said.
I agreed. Four years ago, my own insecurities made me walk away from a future that could've had her in it.
But now, I wasn't about to let her slip away again, even though she never loved me back.
*****
It wasn't until the cigarette burned down and singed my fingers that I was finally pulled back to reality.
On my phone, the photo of Sophie and Benjamin was still there.
A bitter smile crossed my face. That was the power of my first crush.
It could make me fall for someone I shouldn't, and even make a married woman leave her husband on their anniversary to meet up with her first love.