Chapter 3

As soon as Ethan got in the car, he lit up a cigarette.

Lauren discreetly covered her nose, but didn't say anything.

Ethan noticed and asked, "What's wrong? Don't like the smell?"

She shook her head and smiled. "No, it's okay."

Man, she used to have a nose like a bloodhound when it came to me.

Once, I grabbed a smoke three hours before seeing her, doused myself in odor remover before heading out, and she still caught a whiff. She got all mad, flicked her hand, and I had to spend three whole days coaxing her back.

I still remembered what she said to me back then. "Did you forget that the smell of smoke makes me sick? Do you even love me?"

After that, I barely smoked. Even in the smoky gaming lounge earlier, I held back and didn't light one.

But now, Ethan sat next to Lauren, smoking, and she said it was okay.

How laughable.

When Ethan got home, Lauren got out of the car just to say goodbye to him. She looked reluctant to leave.

Through the window, I heard her tell him to get some rest and said she'd drive to bring him breakfast tomorrow morning.

She acted like being apart from him for a second was too much to bear.

After Ethan left, Lauren peeked at me through the rearview mirror.

I probably didn't look too happy—I just kept my eyes closed the whole time, pretending to sleep.

We said nothing the whole way.

The Wynns lived in the same neighborhood as my family, not far away.

On the way, Ryan suddenly woke up and started banging on the door.

"I can't take it anymore. Let me out. I'm gonna puke!" he said.

Before the car even came to a full stop, he bolted out like he was escaping.

"Jason, I'm sorry," Lauren said suddenly.

She couldn't even bring herself to meet my eyes.

In the six months we'd been together, she had never spoken to me so carefully.

I gave a little laugh and didn't let it go. "So that's it? Just 'sorry' and nothing else?"

Of course, I knew she didn't have a good reason for any of this.

But in just a few short hours, a flood of old memories came back to me.

I remembered her running into my arms, smiling, saying how lucky she was to have me.

I remembered her red eyes after a fight, saying she never wanted to break up with me.

All I wanted was to hear her say something—something to end this secret relationship of ours.

I lit a cigarette. She didn't scold me, just stayed quiet for a long time.

When the cigarette burned out, she finally said, "I've had a crush on Ethan for two years. But he used to have a girlfriend, so I never told him how I felt.

"Then you came along. You treated me so well that I wanted to be with you. I really did have feelings for you, but... then he was back on the market.

"When he told me he'd broken up, my emotions were all over the place. I felt guilty towards you, but deep down, I was honestly... relieved.

"I thought maybe I finally had a chance with him. Whether it's love or just obsession, I really don't want to miss him again.

"You're the only one I feel sorry for, Jason. Can we still be friends?"

I almost laughed. "You said your family was strict, and you didn't want your brother to find out about us, so we had to keep our relationship secret. But the truth is, you just didn't want to ruin your small chance with Ethan, right?"

She went completely silent.

I knew I was right.

Having a secret relationship that only the two of us knew about didn't stop her from having feelings for someone else. It just made it easier for her to walk away.

She'd been waiting for Ethan all along. To play the innocent girl in front of him, she'd been lying to me from the start.

Whether she actually liked me or just used me for fun didn't matter anymore.

There was no difference. Either way, the girl I loved for six months never loved me back.

Ryan came wobbling back after throwing up.

I opened the door on the other side and got out.

Ryan called after me, "Hey, where are you going? Let Lauren drive you home."

Without even turning back, I just waved him off. "Nah, I'll catch some air—clear my head a bit."

The car drove off.

The streets were nearly deserted, and the biting wind was so fierce it even stripped the last few dead leaves from the trees.

The cold air hit me, and suddenly, the booze I'd had finally caught up—my head started spinning.

I just gave up and flopped down on the curb.

With my head buried in my knees, I didn't know how long I sat there. My whole body felt heavy, and I couldn't even lift my head.

A few strangers passed by, whispering.

"Damn, this guy's gonna freeze if he stays out here."

"He looks wasted—like some drunk. Let's just go."

"Oh my god, why's he sitting out here like a homeless man on Christmas? Poor guy."

They all talked about me, but no one stopped to help.