Chapter 2
The next time he even thinks about the timer on his wrist is when he's seven.
He's at Tamura's house, the two of them outside, hitting a volleyball back and forth.
It's something they picked up not too long ago after Tamura had seen it on TV and absolutely insisted that they try it.
Turns out, it's not such a bad idea and they both enjoy it—even joined the volleyball club at their elementary school.
Originally, Matsuda thought it was going to be a phase that Tamura went through.
In their years together, there have been a lot of phases:
Digimon, aliens—that one's still present, though, no matter how much Tamura likes to say he's over it, explorers, bug catching.
They're all things that are the be all end all for a short period of time until, without warning, there's something new to replace it.
When Tamura first insists on volleyball, it's not something Matsuda expects to stick.
But it does, and he's glad.
They have a lot of fun with it, and it's worth it.
"Oh!" Tamura exclaims when they stop to take a break, like he just remembered something really important.
"Did you hear about my sister?"
Tamura's sister is a lot older than them.
In high school, Matsuda thinks.
"No, what about her?"
"She came home the other day yelling about something," Tamura explains.
"I thought she got into a fight with one of her friends again, but I guess the timer on her wrist reached zero just as she met some older boy at school."
"Oh..." It's the first time they've ever talked about the timers, about finding a soulmate.
He thinks of the zero on his own wrist—red and halted and hanging over his head, a weight ready to crash down on him—and shakes his head.
"That's... cool, I guess."
"I asked her about it," Tamura says.
"She said that everyone has a timer and that it only reaches zero when you've met the person you're supposed to be with.
It's normal, I guess..."
"Yeah, I know.
My mom told me before." He really wonders why the thought of zero is starting to bother him now.
It hasn't before... maybe because he's never thought about it.
The words slip past his lips without him even thinking about it.
"How much time do you have left?"
Tamura's eyes darken for a moment before he looks down at his wrist, biting his lip.
Matsuda wonders why.
It's not a strange question, is it?
"A lot," Tamura finally answers.
"You?"
He doesn't know why the answer bothers him the slightest bit, why it feels unwelcome to his ears.
"A lot," Matsuda lies.
"That's normal, right?"
Zero isn't normal, but no one needs to know that.
Tamura nods, a smile back on his face, but it seems kind of strained, forced.
Not the usual carefree and annoying-looking grin.
Maybe he just doesn't like talking about it.
Forever isn't something seven year olds typically think about, after all.
"Come on, let's go and play again."
He grabs Matsuda's hand and pulls him back toward the yard.
Again, Matsuda pushes thoughts of their previous conversation away.
It's not something he needs to worry about.
Not yet.
Being older has Tamura laughing sheepishly as girls run up to him and ask how much time he has left.
Every answer is a "Sorry, I still have a lot left," and despite the words, he doesn't really seem that sorry about it.
Matsuda's never seen such simple words break hearts like that.
One time, some girl from the year below them even cried.
Apparently, she had reached zero when she was in the hall, saw Tamura and swore that he was her soulmate.
Tamura had brushed it off with a charming smile and some comforting words before sending her on her way.
It still didn't stop the tears, though.
"Being so popular is tiring," Tamura complains, leaning back in his chair as they're sitting in class that morning, waiting for their teacher.
Liar.
You love it.
Matsuda turns around and looks at him.
"I don't know why they would want someone like you."
Tamura seems taken aback.
"Matsu-chan!
Why wouldn't they want me?
I'm a very attractive and wonderful person, after all!"
Matsuda snorts.
"Yeah, if only they knew you."
"Is that supposed to be an insult?"
"What do you think?"
"I think that you're mean and jealous." Tamura sits normally again, leans his head on the desk so they're looking at each other.
His tone is serious, voice low and quiet when he speaks.
"I never knew so many people reached zero just like that.
I never noticed it before..."
"Yeah, me too." He hasn't noticed it before, but it seems like an almost weekly occurrence that someone's timer will reach zero and they find their soulmate.
(That's probably an over exaggeration, he thinks later.
But when you're surrounded by people finding what you can't have, perceiving it as never ending isn't so odd, is it?) "You still have a lot of time left?"
"Yeah.
Of course."
They don't get to say more after that since their teacher walks into the room and begins class.