Chapter 3

Those three years we spent overseas were the best days of our lives.

Back then, we barely had any money, renting a cramped and dim basement room.

We were so broke that even buying a cabbage took ages of consideration.

But every night, Charles would wrap his arms around me and share stories from his past.

We laughed and cried together. Back then, we were each other's whole world.

After we came back home, Charles took over his family's business. We had a house, money, and never had to stress about anything anymore.

But we started to drift apart and barely talked anymore.

Three months ago, Charles started talking to me a lot more. I thought we were finally getting back to how we used to be.

But even he didn't notice that he was bringing up Anna more and more often.

He kept saying Anna was so smart, just like I was back then.

I thought Charles just admired her, but I never imagined she'd slowly start taking my place.

"Ms. Reed, you're suffering from severe depression. I hope you'll take your treatment seriously," the psychologist said.

His words pulled me back to reality.

A bitter smile tugged at my lips.

"I'll do my best to cooperate with the treatment," I replied.

Night after night, I couldn't sleep. Every time I shut my eyes, all I could see were my brother's desperate eyes.

I was too afraid to sleep, just lying in the dark with tears streaming down my face, whispering to myself.

"I'm sorry. I was useless. I couldn't save you," I whispered.

"Ms. Reed, I really think you should reach out to your family. It'd be best if someone could stay with you at all times. With depression this severe, it's easy to start having suicidal thoughts," the psychologist said.

I shook my head. There was no one left for me.

As I walked out of the psychologist's office, I ran right into Anna.

She had that fake smile plastered on her face.

"Susan, what a coincidence. Are you not feeling well too? I was just a little dizzy today, but Mr. Kent insisted on taking me to the hospital, even though I told him I was fine," she said.

She glanced up and spotted the "psychology" sign behind me, and then she covered her mouth in surprise.

"Susan, don't tell me you and Mr. Kent had a fight, and you had to see a shrink?" she asked.

That over-the-top shocked face of hers was so phony that it made me want to puke.

"What's it to you?" I shot back.

Couldn't be bothered with her drama, I tried to sidestep her, but someone grabbed my wrist.

Charles had somehow appeared behind me, his expression stormy.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" he demanded.

I let out a cold laugh.

"Oh? Mr. Kent, do you really have so much free time that you can bother taking someone as insignificant as me to the hospital?" I shot back.

Anger flashed in his eyes, but he forced it down, jaw clenched as he grabbed my hand.

"Cut it out. You're my wife. How could you ever be unimportant? Come on, I'll take you home," he said.

Before I could even break free, Anna pressed a hand dramatically to her forehead and slumped against the wall.

"Mr. Kent, my head is spinning. Really, you should just take Susan home first," she whimpered.

Charles looked at me, saw how completely unfazed I was, and finally let go of my hand.

"Susan, head back by yourself. Don't go wandering off. Wait for me at home," he said.

He turned to steady Anna and walked away without a backward glance.

Watching his back as he walked away, my tears finally broke free.

For just a moment, I nearly blurted out how tired I was and how close I was to falling apart.

Good thing I didn't. In his eyes, I was just an outsider who could be left behind whenever he wanted.

As I walked past the maternity ward, a young couple passed right by me.

The man was shielding his wife with his arms, holding her close like she was his most precious treasure.

He looked at her with love and affection.

My eyes went red. I'd had that kind of love once.

And because I'd loved so deeply, leaving felt like being skinned alive.

Staring at the bottle of sleeping pills the doctor had just prescribed, despair crashed over me like a tidal wave.

I slipped into the bathroom, popped the pills out one by one, and swallowed them.

For me, only death could set me free.