Chapter 2

Bruno clears his throat, and for the first time, I realize he looks nervous.

"So, I know this is years too late," he says, "but I've wanted to apologize to you for the longest time.

The whole thing with our parents was just so ... fucked up.

We didn't deserve that.

We were friends before everything happened—best friends—and I hated every second of not being able to talk to you.

I hated watching you grow into the most beautiful girl, hated watching you being asked to prom right in front of me, and hated that I couldn't be the guy to do it.

I'm really sorry, Adeline."

I take what is probably the deepest breath in my twenty-one years.

His words wash over me.

I feel so relieved to know that I wasn't alone in my feelings, that it wasn't all in my head.

For a moment, I feel like crying.

"Look—I know this probably seems out of the blue," he says, "but after all this time, I couldn't let you leave thinking that I didn't care about you.

Because I did.

So much.

And I wanted you to know that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it."

"Bruno ..." I start, but nothing else comes out of my mouth.

I look away from him, and he reaches across the table to grab my hand.

It's strange that I remember what his hands feel like, warm with slight calluses on his fingers.Safe.

Although the last time we touched, he was just a boy.

Now he's a man.

It occurs to me that he's not drinking anything, unlike every other male in this bar.

I wonder if it's on purpose.

"Is this astepsthing, like from AA?"

Bruno laughs heartily, the sound filling something inside of me.

"Do I look like a recovering alcoholic to you?"

I shrug, even though he clearly doesn't, but it's the only way I can explain why he's apologizing to me after all these years.

When he realizes that I'm serious about my question, his expression becomes somber.

He looks me square in the eye.

"It's alife's too shortthing.

I'm tired of not making my own decisions because of my screwed-up father."

"You can add my screwed-up mother to that list.

My father too, I guess."

He views me carefully, letting go of my hand.

"I'm also sorry, Bruno.

Sometimes I wish we could just rewind to that night in eighth grade and freeze everything that happened after."

He smiles at me, and I can tell he knows exactly what I'm referring to.

"Me too, Ada."

Hearing him call me by the nickname he gave me when we were thirteen gives me goosebumps.

I haven't heard it in years.

If I'm not careful, he's going to steal my heart all over again tonight.

"Are you sure you don't want a drink?" Bruno asks.

"I feel like it's in order."

I can almost hear sirens circling around my head, wailing at me that it's a terrible idea.

I decide to ignore them when Bruno's words about life being too short overpower my brain.

Well, someone send an ambulance because I'm about to live dangerously tonight.

My lips curl into a smile.

"Sure—why the hell not?"

❄

There goes my New Year's resolution, and it only took me all of one day to break it.

I'm officially drunk.

After everyone had enough of the beer and tequila special at the bar, we all moved to hang out at the Gordon twins' house.

I'm sure their parents aren't home because they would have kicked us out by now.

I had forgotten how much fun Bruno was.

"Let me know if I get sloppy," I say to him over the music.

"You'll tell me, right?"

Bruno smiles at me.

He's been smiling at me all night and I don't know how much more of it I can take.

"Don't worry, Ada.

I got you."

Somehow we're dancing.

I'm wearing his baseball cap.

I think I stole it from him at some point.

I'm in his arms and it feels too good.

Too good to be true.

I take a step back from him, and he has that look in his eyes.

The way he used to look at me.

He reaches for me and runs his fingers through my hair.

I close my eyes because it hurts too much.

I feel that pain in my stomach again, but I choose to ignore it.

"You're wasting your time, Holt."

He chuckles and drops his hand from my hair.

Only now it's on my waist, pulling me close to him again.

"Am I?"

I nod firmly to let him know I'm not messing around.

"I'm not sleeping with you."

He chuckles again.

"I love that you haven't changed one bit, Adeline."

He tucks me into his chest and we hug.

We hug until I can no longer tell where I end and he begins.

We hug until he whispers into my ear that he's taking me home.

I'm at the front door of my house.

I'm giggling because my keys don't seem to work anymore.

Someone must have changed the lock.

Bruno keeps shushing me, and at some point he covers my mouth with his palm as we head inside.

I'm in my bed.

He's fixing my covers for me, saying he can't believe I still have the same Hawking poster hanging on my wall.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Ada," he says when he finishes.

"No you won't."

"Yes, I will."

I sigh.

"You're just saying that now.

You'll feel differently tomorrow once you realize how messed up this is."

"Stubborn girl.

I'm calling you tomorrow."

"Okay."

I think he snorts.

I'm not sure because my head is buried in my pillow.

He turns off the lights and I feel his lips press against my forehead.

The only thing I can think about is how my dad would murder him if he caught him in my room right now, but Bruno doesn't seem to care about that possibility.

In fact, he doesn't seem to remember that he shouldn't be here.

As I fall asleep, I realize that the last time he was in my room was the night he kissed me.

The first thing I notice when I wake up is Bruno's baseball cap on my bedside table.

The second is the tall glass of water right next to it.

I reach for it, desperately needing to alleviate my parched throat.

I feel hot, which must be an after-effect of the tequila I had last night.

I rub my temples, attempting to stop my head from spinning.

All I see is Bruno, as if the evidence he left behind in my room isn't enough.

I remember him laughing with me as I try to do my best Ethan impersonation.

I envision him grabbing my hand, twirling me around as we dance.

I recall him lifting me up in the air as someone snaps a photo of us.

Jesus, did that happen?

I pick up my phone.

Along a string of notifications, I see that I've been tagged in photos.

I tap on them and stare at the pictures for what seems like hours, but there's one in particular I keep going back to.

Bruno is lifting me up with one arm wrapped around me, smiling like he's just won gold at the Olympics.

I've never looked so happy.

I feel like a crazy person staring at the same picture with a grin plastered on my face.

I can't resist, and I end up saving the picture to my phone.

Okay, Adeline, get it together.