Chapter 3

I looked away, hastily wiped at my tears, mumbled a quick goodbye to my mom, and bolted out of there.

"Bella, he's almost here. What's so urgent that you can't just wait and see him before you leave?" Lily called after me.

Ryan lived in an old apartment block.

Right as I bumped into Alex, I awkwardly spun around, frantically digging through my bag for my keys and aiming them at the door's keypad lock.

It wasn't until Alex's silhouette faded from view that I crumpled to the floor, utterly spent. Only then did it hit me; when one was hurting this much, one's body just gave out.

I was the kind of person who could push through anything, racing between five cities in two days, downing half a bottle of vodka alone until my stomach bled, all just to fight for a promotion.

And yet, here I was, so pathetic.

I couldn't even lift my head to look at him, much less ask him why.

I was afraid.

I was afraid that if I asked, things would be over between us.

Alex texted me: [Babe, I miss you so much, I'm starting to see things. Just now, I saw a girl in the stairwell, and for a moment, I thought it was you.]

I curled my lips in a sarcastic smirk at his message, but my face was already streaked with tears.

I frantically typed in the chat box: [Why? Why did you lie to me?]

My finger hovered above the send button, trembling, unable to press it.

Suddenly, a pinned message popped up at the top of my chat.

Lily sent: [Bella, you saw him, didn't you?

[Now that you know everything, can't you just let go and let us be together?]

I was trembling all over, barely able to breathe.

I replied: [I've treated you like my own sister since we were kids. How could you?]

Lily replied: [Bella, love isn't about who was there first. I love him, and he loves me. That's all there is to it.]

Out of the blue, Lily made her social media posts visible to me again.

I used to think she just wanted more privacy as she got older.

Turned out, it was because we were both seeing the same guy.

I scrolled through her account, post after post.

I remembered the day they finally met up IRL.

That day, I was lying there miserable, feverish, and wracked with cramps, barely conscious. Through the haze, I saw Alex's phone light up, and he was texting like crazy.

When I woke up, he quickly turned his phone over, pulled me into his arms, and started rubbing my stomach, but his brow never relaxed.

I asked weakly, "What's wrong?"

He stammered, "Something's wrong with the tech at work. I'm in charge, so I have to head out for a business trip."

"Just go, I'll take care of myself," I said, trying to sound tough.

He put a fresh heating pad on me, refilled my bottle, and laid out the fever meds on the nightstand.

Before heading out, he kissed me on the corner of my lips and said he would be back soon, but the guilt on his face was obvious.

Back then, I thought he was just sorry for leaving me alone. Now, I finally understood what that guilt really meant.

While I was so sick I couldn't even swallow a sip of water, he was busy cooking a full homemade dinner for Lily.

When I was dragging myself to work with a fever, he was out there taking Lily to all the romantic spots couples went to.

And when I was crying, feeling so vulnerable and asking when he would come back, he let Lily bite his lip until it bled, but told me his lip was hurt because he was stressed from wanting to finish work and come back to me.

When I saw those familiar curtains in the photo, my blood ran cold.

In the picture, Lily was wearing Alex's white shirt, barely covering her thighs, sitting at my dressing table.

That dressing table was something Alex had made just for me; he picked out the best materials, hired a craftsman, and even helped build it himself. It took up nearly a quarter of my tiny rented apartment.

I loved that dressing table so much, I kept saying it had to come with us to our new place.

At night, whenever I touched the rough calluses on his hands, tears would just start falling.

Alex smiled, gently wiped my tears, and hugged me tighter.

"My hands never hurt, but when you cry, it hurts me more than anything," he said softly.

I ended up laughing through my tears, with a huge snot bubble hanging from my nose.

Then we just collapsed onto that tiny twin bed, laughing so hard that we could barely breathe.

After we finally stopped laughing, Alex didn't care about the snot or anything. He kissed me on the corner of my lips and promised I would always get the best from him.

But he brought Lily into our home and let her sit at my dressing table, the very spot that meant so much to me.

I closed my eyes for a moment, just trying to hold myself together.

Suddenly, I remembered that when Alex came back from his last business trip, there was an open lipstick sitting on my dresser.

Alex said it was a surprise for me.

I was so caught up in the moment, I didn't even notice his hands trembling as he put it on me, or realize the lipstick wasn't brand new.

It was the same shade Lily was wearing in the photo.

My stomach churned so violently I had to cling to the wall, retching up sour bile onto the floor.