Chapter 1

If I had known that one photo on my phone would split my life in two, I never would have gone looking for him—not when I was two months pregnant, not after selling my house and my shares, and not after seven days dragging myself through the snow.

Later, I was lying on the operating table. The doctor told me to keep the baby. I told him I didn't need to.

He knelt in the middle of a frozen lake and asked if I could forgive him.

However, I found out he hadn't been confused about what he did. He knew exactly what he was doing. He chose it.

Now I sat in a small guesthouse at the foot of a snow-covered mountain. The frostbite scars on my hand ran like a thin streak of light.

Someone asked me if I hated him. I said it didn't matter anymore.

Really? Then why, when he dropped to his knees in front of me, saying he had already signed the divorce papers but still wanted to see me one last time, did I hand him a cup of coffee instead of a knife?

At the very end, sunlight fell across the scar. It didn't hurt anymore. But I knew I had once hated him.

*****

My phone buzzed while I was heating up milk in the kitchen.

At the same time, a news alert popped up. "Major avalanche on the mountain. Many climbers are missing."

I froze, staring at the words. My finger hovered over the screen. Behind me, the milk kept bubbling on the stove.

Three days ago, Leo told me he was leading a team up that mountain. Before he left, he kissed my forehead and said that after this trip, he was done with big jobs. He'd stay home. He'd take care of the baby and me.

I called him, but his phone was off.

I tried again. Still nothing.

I pulled up Zach's number and hit dial. It rang eight times before he finally picked up.

"Diana." His voice sounded heavy.

"Where's Leo? I can't reach him," I asked.

There was a pause. "Diana, don't panic. He—"

"He what?" My voice jumped. "There was an avalanche. Did you see the news? He was leading a team up that mountain. You know that, right?"

"Actually..." Zach lowered his voice. "He didn't go up the mountain."

I froze. "What did you just say?"

"I just found out. He changed his plans at the last minute. He didn't go."

"Bullshit." My voice cracked as I shouted. "He told me himself he was leading a team. He took all his gear. How does he just not go? Zach, you tell me the truth. Right now."

"Diana, I really..." I heard the flick of a lighter, then the quiet drag of a cigarette. "I can't say much. Just trust me. He's okay. He's safe. Don't worry right now."

"Where is he?" I demanded.

"I... I really can't say," Zach muttered.

The line went dead.

I called again, but he didn't pick up.

The news alert was still on my screen. I tapped it open. A list of the missing came up. Leo's name was sixth.

I'd known him for ten years. Seeing his name next to the word "missing" made my eyes sting.

Zach said he was fine, that he was safe. Zach said he never even went up the mountain.

Then where the hell was my husband?

I called Leo one more time, but his phone was still switched off.

The avalanche hit at two in the afternoon. Now it's eleven at night.

I sat on the couch with the TV on. The news kept looping the same rescue footage. A wall of white snow crashed down the mountain like a waterfall, swallowing tents, sleeping bags, oxygen tanks, and everything else in its path.

I glance down at my stomach. I was two months pregnant, and it didn't show yet.

Leo didn't know. I wanted to tell him when he got back. I wanted it to be a surprise.

I waited three days.

Leo was still unreachable, and Zach's phone stayed off.

Leo's parents called me, asking if I'd heard anything. I said no. His dad started cursing. His mom just cried on the other end.

On the fourth morning, I went to the climbing club.

The door was locked. A notice was taped to the glass. "Closed due to the avalanche incident."

I stood there for five minutes. Then I took out my phone and called my realtor. "Hey, Fred. You said someone was interested in the apartment I own, right? Sell it. I'll sign the papers today."

It was a two-bedroom in the city center. My parents left it to me. I had planned to keep it for our kid someday.

Fred paused. "Diana, are you sure? The price won't be good right now. If you wait a couple of months—"

"No waiting. Just sell it," I replied.

After I hung up, I called our company's finance manager. "Madge, see if anyone wants my shares. I'm selling everything."

She sucked in a breath. "Diana, you own forty percent of the club you and Leo built. If you sell now, you'll lose a lot of money. And Leo's not here. If you sell without him, won't he be upset when he gets back?"

"Let's see if he even comes back."

Madge was quiet for a few seconds.

"Alright, I'll ask around for you," she said at last.

By the seventh day after the accident, I had the money.

I walked into the rescue team's office and slammed a bank card down on the table. "There are 600 thousand dollars. I want to go up the mountain."

The team leader, Curtis Barton, was in his forties, his face tanned and weathered. He glanced at the card, then at my belly. "Pregnant?"

I nodded. "Two months."

He frowned. "You trying to get yourself killed?"

"My husband's up there," I answered, steady as ever.

He went quiet for a moment. "The families of everyone on the missing list have been here. You're the first one who wants to go up yourself."

"I'm not like them," I shot back.

He stared at me for a long time, then let out a breath. "Fine. I'll put a team together. But I'm telling you now. If there's another avalanche, we won't be able to save you."

I nodded. "You don't have to."

We left at four in the morning.

The car only got us to the base. The road ahead was blocked. I put on my pack and followed the rescue team into the snow, one step at a time.

The wind cut across my face like a blade. Even with gloves on, my fingers went stiff from the cold.

After about an hour, I was already short of breath. My stomach felt tight.

Curtis turned back to me. "Need a break?"

"No. Keep going." I didn't dare stop. If I stopped, I wouldn't be able to catch up again.

There was no signal on my phone anymore. Still, I kept opening WhatsApp, scrolling through my chat with Leo.

His last message read: [Going into the mountains. Might lose signal. Wait till I get back.]

That was three days ago.

I was here now, dragging myself through the snow to find him. So where was he?

By the third day, we found the campsite.

One tent was buried under the snow, just a corner sticking out. The team dug for four hours.

They pulled out five bodies. Leo wasn't one of them.

I stood there, my legs shaking so badly I had to lean on someone just to stay up.

Curtis walked over and handed me a bottle of water. "What's your husband's gear number?"

"A-17," I replied.

He went to check the records.

Ten minutes later, he came back. Something about his face felt off. "Diana, I need to ask you something."

I nodded. "Go ahead."

"Did your husband pick up his gear the day before he left?" Curtis asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"And he left right after?" Curtis pressed.

"Yeah," I said again.

Curtis frowned, flipping through the papers in his hand. "But his name isn't on the sign-in sheet. I checked with the guides from the other teams. No one saw him."

My head started buzzing. "That's impossible. He told me he was going."

Curtis gave me a look, as if he had something to say but was holding it back.

I took out my phone. Even with no signal, I kept staring at the picture Zach sent me three days ago.

I stared at Zach's two messages. My chest tightened like something was squeezing it.

And then it hit me. Zach said Leo never went into the mountains. Zach said he was safe.

I clenched my phone so hard my nails dug into my palm. "When do we get the signal?"

"We have to head down to Camp C," Curtis said.

"Let's go. Now," I said, my voice cold and determined.

It took two days to get down.

The night we reached Camp C, the signal flickered on and off. My phone started vibrating nonstop.

There were more than a dozen notifications, including eight missed calls from Zach.

His last message was a picture. It took thirty seconds to load. Then it finally came through.

In the photo, two people stood on a beach, watching the sunset.

The man wore a white T-shirt. His arm was around the woman's waist. She was leaning into him, smiling as she blew out the candles on a birthday cake.

I stared at the man's face. It was Leo.

I didn't recognize the woman. Her eyes curved when she smiled. Her head rested against his shoulder.

Zach's message read: [Diana, he's been seeing her for the past three years. I was scared to tell you. Today is her birthday, and yours too. I thought about it for three days. You deserved to know.]

I dropped down and crouched on the ground, my phone still glowing in my hand.

The wind kept blowing. Something cold hit my face. I realized I was crying. The tears froze the second they fell, sticking to my skin. It stung. It itched.

I opened WhatsApp and found my chat with Leo.

There was a voice message I had recorded up on the mountain. It was never sent.

I pressed and held the record button again. The wind and snow howled in the background.

"Honey, I'm coming to bring you home. You have to wait for me." Then I let go. The message was sent.

Thirty seconds later, he started typing. I received a reply. [I'm out of the country. Stop making a scene.]

I stared at the words. Then I blocked him.