Chapter 5
Helen had actually tried to set Ryan and me up before, and I'd never resisted her arrangements.
After all, deep down, I'd always longed to be part of a warm, loving family. Even though I knew perfectly well that my feelings for Ryan were more like familial affection than romantic love.
But now, Helen had said it herself that Ryan no longer needed me to protect him. So, I supposed I'd repaid the kindness she'd shown me all those years ago.
The Harper family would never truly be my home. After all those years of hoping, of yearning, it had all just been my delusion.
The moment I stepped out of their house, I made up my mind. I pulled out my phone and texted my counselor, telling her I was giving up my spot in Silversmith University's postgraduate program.
At the same time, I sent a message to a number I hadn't contacted in ages. Emily: [Dad, I want to apply for graduate school abroad. Can you help me?]
After Mom passed away unexpectedly, my father, Hank Foster, remarried soon after. I knew his business was booming, but I'd never reached out to him on my own. To be honest, I didn't feel that close to either Mom or Hank.
Still, Hank would send me a few greetings every New Year. This was his way of making up for his absence as a father.
Rick had mentioned to me before that he could recommend me for graduate school abroad, to study under his own mentor. Later, when he found out I'd decided to go to Silversmith University, he sighed and said it was a shame.
This time, I wanted to plan my future for myself, and for myself alone.
Hank replied almost instantly. Hank: [Emily, have you decided on a school yet? Studying abroad is a great idea. I'll support you.]
I sent him the name of the university. To my surprise, he called right away.
"I never thought you'd apply to a world-renowned university. You're really something, my daughter. Money won't be a problem. Will ten thousand dollars a month be enough for your living expenses? I'll cover your tuition separately," said Hank.
His voice was brimming with excitement, nothing like the distant, lukewarm Hank I remembered. I was stunned for a moment before murmuring a quiet "Thank you."
When Rick learned I was to pursue my studies abroad, he was over the moon and encouraged me earnestly.
"Emily, you're talented and hardworking. Studying abroad will definitely let you learn far more than you would here. I'll write the recommendation letter to my mentor right away. You hurry up and get everything ready for your application," he said.
I nodded and agreed without hesitation. For the first time in a long while, a faint spark of hope for the future flickered in my heart.
I threw myself into preparing for my overseas application, burying myself in studying for my exams all over again.
Ever since I'd left the Harper house, Helen hadn't called me once. Ryan, though, would send me occasional messages, mostly asking about my plans after graduation.
I ignored every single one of them, deleting his texts as soon as I saw them.
As someone with autism, maybe he really didn't understand the impact his actions had on me. He'd instinctively chosen to defend the person he wanted to protect, and in his own way, that wasn't wrong.
But time and time again, he'd stabbed me in the heart. To me, he wasn't even worthy of being called a friend anymore.
Seeing that I never replied to his messages, Ryan showed up with Claire one day and blocked my path outside the girls' dormitory. He cut straight to the chase, no beating around the bush. "Emily, don't go to Silversmith University. Stay here with me."