Chapter 1
Ryan Carter and I had been married for thirty years, always polite, never truly close.
When I turned fifty, Ryan fell gravely ill.
On his deathbed, he looked at me quietly and said, "In the next life, let's walk our own paths and leave each other behind."
Even if he didn't spell it out, I knew exactly what he was trying to say.
For over thirty years, he'd never stopped thinking about his first love, the one who left everything behind for love. After she died in a foreign land, his soul seemed to die with her.
More than twenty years ago, he drifted through life in a haze.
Even though he was still by my side, his heart had already gone with that woman.
My heart twisted with pain, but in the end, I nodded heavily.
Fine.
From here on out, let's walk our own paths.
It was best if we never met again.
Or maybe, it would've been better if we had never known each other at all.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself reborn on the day the Carter family was on the brink of bankruptcy.
*****
Ryan's frail hand gripped my wrist with a surprising strength for someone so close to death.
His cloudy eyes no longer held the composed politeness that had defined our thirty years together.
All that remained was a desperate, almost obsessive plea for relief.
He said, "Lottie, in the next life let's walk our own paths. Let's become strangers in this world and never look back."
I stood frozen.
My chest was gripped by an invisible hand, the pain so intense I could hardly catch my breath.
I knew exactly what he was thinking.
For over thirty years, he'd never stopped thinking about Emily Lane, his first love, the one who left everything behind for him, and ultimately died far from home.
Ever since he learned of her death more than twenty years ago, it was as if his soul had died with her.
He was still by my side, playing the role of the perfect husband in everyone else's eyes, but his heart had long since drifted to that woman who existed only in his memories.
Our so-called polite marriage was nothing more than his absent-minded indifference and my stubborn, one-sided effort to keep up appearances.
A dull ache spread through my chest.
I looked at the man I had spent my whole life with, an empty shell now, and nodded, heavy and resolute.
Fine.
From now on, let's go our separate ways.
You took your road, I would take mine.
It was better if we had never seen each other again.
Maybe it would've been better if we'd never met at all.
When I opened my eyes again, sunlight flooded in, dazzling me.
I shot up in bed, staring at my smooth, wrinkle-free hands, then glanced around at the outrageously luxurious bedroom. This was my room before I got married.
From downstairs, I could faintly hear voices talking.
My heart was pounding, a terrible sense of dread gripping me.
I stumbled to the top of the stairs and looked down.
In the living room, my father, Arthur Evans, sat in the main seat, his face grave.
Across from him was Kevin Carter, looking anxious and worn out.
Behind Kevin stood a young man in a faded white shirt, tall and slender, but with a brooding air about him.
It was Ryan, nineteen years old.
I suddenly remembered, today was the day the Carter family was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. Kevin, out of options and desperate, brought Ryan to our house to beg Arthur to invest and save them.
In my previous life, I couldn't stand seeing young Ryan's restrained pride and battered dignity. I ended up crying and begging Arthur to help their family.
The Evans family's huge injection of cash not only pulled the Carters back from the brink, but also set Ryan up for a meteoric rise in the years to come.
But what did I get in return?
Thirty years of him never really caring, and in the end, those devastating words on his deathbed, "From now on, let's walk our own paths."
A wave of resentment suddenly surged inside me.
I took a deep breath and shuffled down the stairs in my slippers.
Arthur spotted me and said, "Lottie, why did you come down?"
Kevin managed a forced smile. "Lottie, it's been years. You're all grown up and so pretty now."
Ryan shot me a quick look, then dropped his gaze again.
Those beautiful, eerily calm eyes were completely emotionless, and soon lowered once more.
He radiated a cold, detached indifference, like none of this had anything to do with him.
Back then, it was that stubborn yet fragile vibe of his that really got to me.
But now, it felt ridiculous.
I ignored Kevin and walked straight over to Arthur, linking my arm through his. My voice was soft, but clear enough for everyone to hear. "Dad, don't meddle in other people's business."
Arthur was taken aback.
Kevin's smile froze on his face.
I could clearly see Ryan's hand at his side suddenly clench, his knuckles turning white and veins popping out.
My voice turned even colder. "Some people, you could bend over backwards for them, give them everything you've got, and they still won't appreciate it one bit.
"In the end, they'll treat you like you're in their way. Why bother? Money doesn't grow on trees, you know."
"Lottie," Arthur called out, but he wasn't really angry.
Kevin's face went completely pale, his lips trembling, unable to get a word out.
Ryan's reaction was the most intense.
It was like he'd been stabbed. He snapped his head up, eyes wide.
Those eyes, usually so calm and unreadable, were suddenly full of shock and discomfort.
There was also a flash of humiliation, like I'd exposed his deepest secret, and a look of disbelief.
He looked like he never thought I'd say something so brutal.
I met his gaze, a cold, steady calm settling in my chest.
What were you looking at? Wasn't this what you wanted, Ryan?
I was done catering to you in this life.
Go chase your big dreams and your precious Emily on your own.
We were done. You went your way, I would go mine.