Chapter 5
As soon as I stepped through the door, Mom tossed a piece of red fabric over my shoulders. "Hold still. Let me see how this color looks on you."
She walked around me, checking me out from every angle, then nodded, clearly pleased. "This color is perfect for your flawless complexion."
I glanced down at the fabric.
It was the same red dress I wore to the teacher appreciation party in my previous life.
Grandma Foster had personally picked out the fabric.
Mom had a tailor make it a month in advance.
Everyone said I looked like a little bride in it.
Alex's brows furrowed the moment he saw me in it.
He said the color was way too bold, and Mia might feel awkward if she saw me wearing it.
So when it was time for the group photo, I slipped on a white cardigan, hiding most of the dress.
"Mom, I don't want to wear this," I said.
Mom's smile faltered. "Why?"
"It's way too red."
"Come on, it's a teacher appreciation party. You're supposed to wear something bright and cheerful."
She draped the fabric over my shoulders again. "Grandma Foster said that with all the relatives coming, it's the perfect chance to settle things about you and Alex.
"Although we can't throw an engagement party right now, at least both families can lay everything out.
"Once you graduate college, you'll get married right away."
Mom spoke as if it was only natural.
It felt like my whole life had already been mapped out for me.
Where I'd go to college, who I'd marry, when I'd have kids, even which job I'd take after getting married, none of it was ever up to me.
In my previous life, I thought this was what happiness looked like.
My parents were constantly away on business.
After my maternal grandmother passed away, I spent three years living with the Foster Family.
Grandma Foster cooked for me, went to parent-teacher meetings with me, and stayed up all night by my side when I had a fever.
I longed for a home that would never fall apart.
So when both families said I should marry Alex, I didn't say no.
I thought that once I became part of the Foster Family, I'd never have to worry about being abandoned again.
I slipped the fabric off my shoulders. "Mom.
"I don't want to get engaged to Alex."
The living room fell silent for a moment.
Mom managed a smile. "Did you two fight again?"
"No."
"If you didn't fight, then why are you making a fuss?"
She set the fabric down on the couch. "Is this about Mia?
"I heard from Mrs. Foster that Alex has been spending a lot of time with that art student lately.
"Boys are always a bit clueless at that age. It's totally normal.
"Once you both get to college, he'll figure out who's really right for him."
There it was again.
Who was the most 'suitable' for him.
Not about who he actually loved.
Not whether I even wanted to marry him.
Everyone figured I was the girl who'd take care of him, the one who'd stay with the Foster Family, the one who'd accept a husband whose heart was never really mine.
I said firmly, "Mom, this has nothing to do with Mia.
"I don't want to marry him."
Mom's face fell. "Sophie, do you even know what you're saying?
"How many years has the Foster Family taken care of you?
"Grandma Foster has treated you like her own granddaughter, maybe even better.
"Alex grew up with you. He knows you better than anyone.
"If you don't marry him, who else is there for you?"
I wanted to say I didn't have to marry anyone if I didn't want to.
But the words caught in my throat.
No matter what I said now, she'd think I was throwing a tantrum.
It's never the explanations that make people believe. It's leaving.
I grabbed my backpack. "I'm going upstairs."
Mom called out from behind me. "Alex is coming over for dinner tonight.
"Don't make a face at him.
"Don't say you don't want that dress for the teacher appreciation party again."
I didn't look back. "I have to prepare for an interview tonight."
"What interview?"
"It's for a school program."
Mom was about to ask more, but the phone rang.
She answered and started chatting with the tailor about the dress size.
I went back to my room and locked the door behind me.
On my desk sat an old collection of essays.
The cover was already curling at the edges.
I flipped to the essay I wrote in my freshman year, "The Desk Beyond the Hills."
At the end, I'd written:
[I hope that one day, I'll stand at the front of the classroom and let a child who's never seen the world beyond their own see it first through the pages of a book.]