Chapter 3

Ms. Taylor's office was on the third floor.

When I knocked and walked in, she was sorting through student files.

She looked a little surprised to see me. "Did you finish taking the graduation photos?"

"Yeah, we're done," I replied.

"Why aren't you hanging out with your classmates?" she asked.

I walked up to her desk. "Ms. Taylor, I want to change my college choice."

She stopped what she was doing. "Which one do you want to change to?"

My exam score ended up higher than I expected.

I could've easily gotten into Riverdale College of Education's English Literature program.

It was one of the first colleges to set up a rural reading research center, and back in tenth grade, I wrote that I wanted to become a literature teacher and build reading rooms for schools without libraries.

Ms. Taylor always remembered that.

But in the end, I was the one who chose to let it go.

Because Alex was planning to go to Eastbrook University.

He told me Riverdale was too far from home, and it'd be tough for us to have a future if we were living in different cities.

Grandma Foster didn't want me to leave either.

So I took Riverdale College of Education off my top choices and settled for an ordinary college in Eastbrook instead.

That was the first time I turned my whole life upside down for Alex.

Then there was a second time, a third, until nothing of me remained.

"Riverdale College of Education," I said.

Ms. Taylor looked at me for a long moment. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"It's not because you and Alex had a fight, is it?"

I paused. "No.

"Even if Alex wasn't part of my life, I'd still want to go there."

The moment I said it, I felt lighter, for in my last life everyone blamed my misery on Alex's lack of love.

But what really broke me wasn't his coldness.

It was that I kept putting my own life on hold for him, again and again.

Ms. Taylor didn't ask any more questions.

She opened her laptop and pulled up the admissions information for Riverdale College of Education, showing it to me.

Ms. Taylor said, "Your score is more than enough.

"But this year, they've launched a new hands-on rural reading program for freshmen.

"After you submit your application, students applying to the program must interview early. Only those who pass will be selected.

"The program starts on July 26th, and you'll be staying at a rural mountain school for four weeks."

On July 25th, our class's teacher appreciation banquet, both families had planned to announce my engagement to Alex, but in my last life he showed up two hours late because Mia had gotten drunk, and everyone, including me, was waiting for him.

I sat on stage in the red dress Grandma Foster had chosen for me, feeling everyone's eyes on me, full of hidden meaning.

When Alex finally arrived, he didn't even say sorry.

Alex slipped the ring onto my finger and said quietly. "Well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

I kept that ring on my finger for twenty-eight years.

When I finally took it off, there was still a pale mark where it had been.

I looked at the dates for the program and said softly. "I want to apply."

Ms. Taylor reminded me. "If you get into the program, you'll have to leave the very next day.

"Is your family okay with that?"

I lowered my head and touched the ginkgo pendant hanging around my neck.

Grandma Foster gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday.

She said ginkgo trees live forever, and our families' bond would last as long.

In my last life, I treated the pendant as an engagement keepsake and wore it until my wedding day.

This time around, I knew I should find the right moment to return it.

"They'll agree," I said.

Even if they didn't agree, I'd still go.

Ms. Taylor pulled up the college application confirmation page for me.

My first choice was already set.

Eastbrook University.

It was in the same city as Alex.

I grabbed the mouse and hit delete.

A notification popped up on the screen. [Are you sure you want to remove this option?]

I clicked confirm.

Then, in the new college field, I entered it, one letter at a time.

Riverdale College of Education.

In the bottom right corner of the screen, it showed there were still seventeen hours left before the application system locked.

As I was about to hit submit, I suddenly heard footsteps outside the office.

Then Alex's voice came from the doorway. "Ms. Taylor, is Sophie here?"