Chapter 4

Holding the fee breakdown from my acceptance letter, I walked over to my parents. "Tuition is about 1,900 dollars. Housing is 400. With other first-year fees, it's a little over 2,700 total." I placed the paper on the table, my voice calm.

"I already checked with Riverdale College. I can apply for a student loan, and I'll earn my own living expenses through work-study. I just need you to help me come up with the first year's costs."

My father picked up the paper, didn't even look at it, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it on the floor. "I already said I won't give you a cent, so stop wasting your breath. And 2,700 dollars? Our family can't even save that much in a whole year. Stop dreaming."

I bent down, picked up the crumpled paper, slowly unfolded it, and smoothed out the creases. "Is our family really so poor we can't even come up with 2,700 dollars?" I looked up at my father, a trace of suspicion in my eyes.

For eighteen years, he'd said he worked outside every day, and my mother always did odd jobs at home. No matter how poor we were, it shouldn't have been this bad. My father's eyes flickered for a second, then turned fierce again.

"What, you think I'm hiding money? I work myself to death every day and barely make enough for us to eat. If you don't believe me, go search the house yourself."

My mother quickly jumped in. "Don't accuse your father like that. He really has it hard. We truly don't have the money."

"So you're just going to stand there and watch me give up my chance at school?" I looked at them, my heart full of disappointment. "I worked so hard to get into a university like this. It's my only way out. Can't you help me just this once?"

"Your way out? Working is your way out," my father said flatly. "I've done my duty by raising you for eighteen years. You're an adult now. It's time to support yourself, so stop counting on us."

"Raising me for eighteen years means making me wear old clothes, go hungry, and not even letting me study?" I couldn't help throwing the question back at him, hurt and anger twisting together inside me. "Other parents hope their kids will make something of themselves. You two are doing everything you can to drag me back into the mud."

"Watch your mouth. How are we dragging you into the mud?" My mother raised her voice, looking deeply wronged. "We're out of options. This is just what our family can manage. You can't force us."

"I'm not forcing you. I just want a chance to study." Watching them play good cop and bad cop together, my heart finally went completely cold. They weren't out of money. They just didn't want to spend it on me.

"I'll ask one last time. Are you giving me the money or not?"

My father stood up, pointed at the door, and spoke with finality.

"No. And if you keep making a scene, then get out of this house. I'll act like I never had you."

I looked at his cold face, then at my mother's evasive eyes, and couldn't say another word. So this was how cheap parent-child love really was to them. I turned around and walked out without looking back.

I knew begging them was useless now. I could only rely on myself. I would borrow money, beg relatives, and throw away every last bit of pride if I had to. I was going to scrape together my tuition no matter what.

But I had no idea that road would be even harder than I imagined. Their cruelty cut off the very last bit of attachment I still had for this family.