Chapter 2

From that day forward, my life took a dramatic turn.

My daily routine was sleeping, eating a snack, basking in the sun, and teasing Buddy for being clueless.

Buddy's daily routine was ransacking supermarkets, hauling supplies, messing with zombies, and pushing around humans.

Anyone who dared to look at me funny got physically dealt with by Buddy.

I said, "I'm hungry."

Half an hour later, Buddy had emptied the entire snack section of the chain supermarket.

Chips, chocolate, strawberries, cakes, and self-heating hot pots were piled up like a mountain.

I said, "It's noisy downstairs."

Ten minutes later, Buddy had cleared out every zombie within half a mile.

It was so quiet that I could hear the birds chirping.

I said, "The floor's dirty."

Buddy got to work on the spot, sweeping with his bone claws and even licking up every speck of dust.

He put any cleaning lady to shame.

The human survivors were left dumbfounded.

Other people in the apocalypse were starving, fighting zombies, and always watching their backs for betrayal.

But my life in the apocalypse was sprawled on the couch, sipping bubble tea at the coffee shop, and petting the Zombie King's head.

The gap was absurd.

Some folks got jealous of how easy I had it and tried to ambush me.

Buddy gave them a live demo of what a real guardian beast looked like.

He smacked them away one by one, didn't let them get a word in before they were gone.

As time passed, my building had become a forbidden zone. Nobody in the city dared to come near it.

Rumor had it that there was a living legend holed up inside, guarded by a beast straight out of the apocalypse.

One day, I was lounging on the balcony, soaking up the sun, and casually said, "Man, I'm so bored."

Buddy shot up like a bolt, his red eyes blazing, and was about to head downstairs.

I grabbed Buddy by the scruff of his neck.

"Hey, where are you off to?" I asked.

He pointed at me, then downstairs, and kept gesturing for a while.

I thought he was saying, "You're bored? I'll go and catch a few people for you to have some fun with."

I said, "Stop! We're not running a kidnapping ring here."

Buddy hung his head, looking like a kicked puppy, his ears drooping.

The mighty apocalypse overlord, reduced to a sulking sidekick whenever he's with me.

Soon enough, Sunlight Base, the biggest human stronghold, came knocking.

Frank Larson, their leader, showed up with his top brass, a truck of supplies, and another truck loaded with weapons.

They stood at the entrance, all respectful, not daring to set foot inside.

Frank shouted, "Ms. Johnston, it's Frank Larson here. Hoping for a chance to meet you.

"We're ready to follow your lead. Please keep us survivors safe."

I was enjoying my afternoon nap.

Buddy stood watch by my bed, so careful that he barely made a sound.

They'd been hollering downstairs for a good half hour.

Half-awake and cranky, I stomped out onto the balcony.

"What's with all the yelling? Can't you let me have some sleep?" I snapped.

Frank and his crew bowed instantly and in perfect sync.

"Ms. Johnston," they called out.

"Yeah? What is it?" I replied.

"Take everything we've got, supplies, base, soldiers. Please keep us safe," Frank pleaded.

I yawned and checked out their stash of supplies.

Buddy could haul in way more than that without trying.

"Nah, not interested. Don't bother me. I'm taking a nap," I said.

With that, I turned and walked away.

Frank got desperate. "Ms. Johnston, we'll work ourselves to the bone for you."

I stopped, looked back, and said, dead serious, "No need. You guys are way too loud."

Right then, Buddy stepped out onto the balcony, his eyes cold as ice as he stared down at them.

For the first time, he spoke, his voice rough and low, just two words. "Get lost."

The whole neighborhood felt like the air had turned icy.

Frank and his crew went pale as ghosts, stumbling and tumoring over each other as they bolted out of there.

I turned back and gave him a thumbs up, "Buddy, not bad. That's progress."

He instantly nuzzled up to me, whimpering softly.

I said, "But your voice is kinda rough. Maybe talk less next time."

Buddy kept his mouth shut and played the part of my mute bodyguard from then on.

My life kept getting more and more ridiculous.

If I wanted a hot meal, Buddy would snatch a five-star chef and have him cook for me like I was royalty.

If I craved coffee, he'd drag every coffee shop on the block right into my house.

If I got bored, he'd transform the whole neighborhood into a garden paradise, planting flowers and grass everywhere.

If I got scared of the dark at night, Buddy would stretch out beside my bed, playing the part of my loyal zombie bed-warmer.

Out in the world, Buddy was a total badass.

He wiped out a whole squad with zero warning, and every zombie in the city bowed to him.

If anyone dared to step out of line, he'd crush them without hesitation

If anyone glanced at me sideways, they were dead meat.

If anyone set foot near my neighborhood, they were toast.

But when he was with me, Buddy was a total softie.

He'd bring me water, open doors, tear into packages, nuzzle up to me, and even wag his tail, even though he didn't have one.

The survivors couldn't help but whisper, "The boss is sunbathing on the balcony again.

"The Zombie King's clearing out another supermarket.

"Meanwhile, we're still scrambling for instant noodles.

I'd officially become the number one couch-potato king of the apocalypse.

One day, I was munching on strawberries, watching Buddy smack down another group of raiders.

I tossed out casually, "Buddy, you're such a good boy."

He got so excited that he started doing happy zoomies, then ran back over and shoved his head under my hand, wanting some head pats.

I patted his head and sighed, 'Thought I'd lie low and ride out the apocalypse, but now I'm the boss.'

Buddy didn't get it, but seeing me happy made him happy too.

At sunset, I rested my head on his shoulder and let out a big yawn.

"I'm sleepy. Let's go home and get some sleep," I said.

Buddy picked me up, his steps so light that it was like he was afraid to break me.

I closed my eyes and smiled, feeling at peace.

The apocalypse? Zombies? They were not my problem.

I'd got Buddy, so I was gonna keep taking it easy.

From then on, word got around about a new legend in the apocalypse.

There was this girl who never fought, never struggled, but only wanted to lie back and let the zombies do their thing.

But she had the Zombie King bowing at her feet, ruling the city for her, and pampering her like she was the queen.

All I had to say about it was that slacking off was freaking awesome.