Chapter 3

That night, Zander slept in the study.

I lay in bed, my tears soaking the pillow.

It was the first time since we got married that he didn't spend the night with me.

When my monthly cycle was two weeks late, I started to wonder if something was up.

But I didn't dare tell Zander, afraid it was just another false hope.

We'd been married for over a year, always hoping to finally have a baby.

Whenever my cycle came around, Zander never said a word, but the disappointment in his eyes was plain as day.

Carlie would often say, "If I could finally have a grandchild, my life would be complete."

This time, the discomfort was even worse. I felt dizzy and nauseous, and just the smell of anything greasy made me want to throw up.

Carlie grabbed my hand, her eyes shining. "Eleanor, do you think you might be pregnant?"

My heart started pounding, but I couldn't be sure. "Let's wait a little longer, just in case it's not..."

"Why don't you let Zander take a look? That'll settle it," Carlie urged.

I shook my head. I was still shaken from what happened last time.

I toughed it out for a few more days, but the discomfort got unbearable.

I made sure to go to Elixor Pharmacy when Zander was there alone.

Cecelia had been sent out of town to gather herbs and wouldn't be back until evening.

"Zander, I've been feeling really unwell lately. Could you check on me?" I asked.

Zander was busy sorting through his case notes, without even glancing at me. "Just wait a bit. Cecelia will be back soon. She'll check you out."

"I want you to be the one to do it," I insisted.

Zander finally looked up, his face full of impatience. "Eleanor, why are you being so stubborn? Cecelia needs more hands-on experience to improve. You're her senior. What's wrong with helping her out?"

"Last time, I almost—" I tried to protest, feeling a lump in my throat.

"That was just an accident," Zander cut me off. "This time, I'll check the remedy myself, alright?"

I bit my lip and said nothing more.

With every word, my heart grew colder.

The Zander who used to bring me honey cake and remind me to dress warmly felt like he was drifting further and further away from me.

Sure enough, Cecelia showed up again in no time, just as I expected.

She greeted me with a sweet smile. "Eleanor, you're here. Zander said you're feeling under the weather, so he wants me to take a look at you."

Zander pressed, "Have a seat. Let Cecelia check your pulse."

I sat down, my body tense and my heart uneasy.

Cecelia's fingers found my wrist again. This time, her touch was noticeably steadier than before.

"Eleanor, your pulse feels quick and slippery. Looks like you've caught a fever," Cecelia said confidently and then wrote out a prescription.

Zander took it, checked it carefully, and nodded. "Looks good, this should work."

I looked at him. "Zander, are you really sure about this?"

"I've looked it over. It's fine," Zander said, handing me the prescription. "Go pick up the medicine."

I went ahead and took the medicine anyway.

I trusted Zander. When he said it was fine, I believed him.

But this time, things got even worse.

As soon as I got home, my lower abdomen cramped up with pain, and a sudden warmth gushed out.

I looked down and saw a vivid red stain spreading across my skirt. Carlie shouted, "Eleanor!"

Carlie's cry echoed in my ears, and then everything faded away.

When I woke up, I was lying in my own bed, and Carlie was sitting by my side, her eyes swollen and red.

"The baby... is gone," Carlie said, her voice rough with grief. "You were nearly two months along."

I stared up at the ceiling, lost, my hand unconsciously resting on my belly.

There had been a little life inside me, and I never even got to know it before it slipped away.

Tears slid silently down my face, dampening my hair.

"Where's Zander?" I asked, my voice coming out hoarse and dry.

"He's at Elixor Pharmacy," Carlie Keller said, wiping her eyes. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I should have taken better care of you."

I shook my head. It wasn't Carlie's fault. I only had myself to blame for trusting Zander so much.

I blame myself for believing that, deep down, I was special to him.

When Zander came home that evening and heard I'd lost the baby, he just stood there, stunned. "How could this happen? Cecelia never said anything about you being pregnant when she checked your pulse."

Carlie suddenly shot to her feet and slapped Zander hard across the face. "You let her treat Eleanor when she couldn't even tell Eleanor was pregnant?

"Zander, that was your child. The one you've been desperate for all this time."

Zander held his cheek, pain flickering in his eyes before anger took over. "I checked the prescription myself. There was nothing wrong with it.

"It had to be Eleanor not taking care of herself, or maybe the pregnancy was never stable in the first place."

Carlie was shaking with rage.

I forced myself to speak, trying to keep steady, but my voice trembled anyway. "Zander, give me the prescription Cecelia wrote."

"What do you want with it?" Zander demanded.

"I want another doctor to look at it—to see if there really was a problem," I replied.

Zander's face changed, his voice sharp. "So what, you think I'm protecting Cecelia? You think I'm just taking her side?"

"I just want to understand how I ended up losing my child," I replied.

We stared each other down, neither willing to budge, until Carlie finally stepped in between us and broke the tension.