Chapter 4

At 6:20 on the fifty-third Sunday, Ethan received a call from MASON, PROPERTY MAINTENANCE.

He spoke on the balcony for several minutes. When he came back inside, he was already dressed to leave.

"Something came up at work. I have to go out."

"Four o'clock. The cemetery," I reminded him.

Ethan bent and kissed my forehead.

"I remember. The rabbit and the cake are already in the car."

After the door closed, I called Claire.

The movers arrived at 7:30.

I took only my clothes, my personal documents, and Lily's belongings. I did not touch anything that belonged to us jointly.

Her hospital bracelet, her first pair of shoes, and the candle from the first birthday she never reached all went into the wooden chest my father had left me.

At nine, I told Mara she could have the divorce papers served.

At 9:17, the clinic called.

My second blood test looked normal.

I placed the new report and the white baby socks on the dining table.

My wedding ring rested on top of the report.

I left no note.

At 3:40 that afternoon, I arrived at the cemetery.

The rain began soon after.

I set a small cake in front of Lily's grave and pushed a number 3 candle into the frosting.

At four, the parking lot was still empty.

At 4:10, I called Ethan.

He did not answer.

At 4:18, he finally called back.

I could hear hospital announcements in the background.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"At the hospital. One of my employees has a family emergency."

A woman called his name on the other end of the line.

I knew that voice.

Yesterday, at the cottage, she had held my rabbit and asked Ethan when he planned to replace the recording of Lily's voice.

"Are you still coming?"

"As soon as the doctor finishes the examination, I'll be there."

"Where are the rabbit and the cake?"

Silence.

"They're still at the cottage."

That morning, he had told me they were already in the car.

Even that had been a lie.

"Today is Lily's birthday."

"I know." Irritation crept into Ethan's voice. "But they really need me here."

"So Lily can wait for you one more time?"

"Lily doesn't need to wait for me anymore."

Rain ran down the face of her headstone.

Ethan fell silent too.

"Ava, that isn't what I meant."

I did not ask what he had meant.

For the past year, he had given me his answer every Sunday.

"I understand."

Relief was obvious in his next breath.

"Don't stand out there in the rain. Go home and wait for me."

He thought I had understood him one more time.

I ended the call.

At 4:30, I cut the cake alone.

I never lit the number 3 candle.

At exactly six, I climbed into Claire's car, turned off family location sharing, and revoked Ethan's access to the lakeside cottage.

At 6:42, the lock on our city apartment sent me an alert.

Ethan was home.

My phone began to ring.

I did not answer the first call.

I did not answer the seventeenth.

On the eighteenth, he left a voice message.

His voice was unsteady.

"Ava, you're pregnant?"

He paused for several seconds.

"Tell me where you are. I'll come get you right now."

Before the message ended, he added one more sentence.

"You can't just leave with my child."