Chapter 1
Post‑surgery, anesthesia still clouding his mind, my husband Samuel Howard kept murmuring a string of numbers.
On impulse, I dialed them on his phone.
The call went through almost instantly.
On the other end, a girl was crying, sounding really upset. "Professor Howard, I thought you'd never call me again!
"Why didn't you reply to any of my messages?"
I recognized her voice immediately. It was Susan Quinn, his new grad student.
A month ago, I'd nearly divorced him over her.
That night, he'd chain‑smoked three packs of cigarettes. By morning, his eyes bloodshot, he'd begged me to forgive him for our baby's sake.
He promised he'd cut her off entirely, that he would focus on our family.
My hand was shaking as I held the phone, but my voice came out much steadier than I expected.
I said, "He just had surgery. He's in Room 403 at Harmony Medical Center.
"Come if you want."
After I hung up, I scheduled a procedure to end my pregnancy for later that day.
*****
As I lay on the hospital bed, the cold fluid was slowly infused into my veins.
My mind grew fuzzy, my consciousness slipping away.
My mind drifted back to that time I accompanied Samuel to his college reunion.
Someone had too much to drink and started running their mouth, saying I never went to a top university, and asking what Samuel saw in me.
Samuel stepped in front of me, his eyes blazing with anger for the first time in his life. "She's my life. What do you think I see in her?"
Then my mind jumped to the day I found out I was pregnant. Samuel had finished a new project.
He went out with his students to celebrate, and I was worried he'd drink too much, so I went to pick him up.
But when I got there, I saw him with a soft look on his face as he took the drink from the girl beside him and downed it for her.
And beneath the table, out of sight from everyone else, their hands were tightly intertwined.
Memories kept flashing and blending together in my mind, making my breath come quicker and quicker.
We'd been married for three years, and people on the outside always said I hit the jackpot, landing such a perfect guy like Samuel.
Those who actually knew us said what went around came around. Thank goodness my dad took Samuel in when he needed it, and now that he was a university professor, my dad and I were set for life.
Truth was, I'd asked Samuel more than once why he chose to marry me.
Was it really love, or was it out of gratitude for what my dad did for him?
Every time, he'd smile, ruffle my hair, and call me silly.
I really was ridiculously silly.
Otherwise, how could I have been so naive as to believe he actually had feelings for me?
It wasn't until I saw how he acted around the woman he truly loved that I finally realized he never loved me.
"Ms. Summers, you're awake?" the nurse said softly. "The procedure is over. You need to stay here for a bit for observation, and then you can go home."
The nurse helped me to the recovery room and sat me down.
As she was about to leave, she suddenly stopped.
She turned back, grabbed a few tissues for me, and sighed. "Young people these days are so reckless with their own bodies. If you'd come any later, a routine procedure wouldn't have been enough to fix things."
That was when I realized my face was already cold and wet with tears.
But the truth was, I never really wanted this baby in the first place.
From the day I realized Samuel's heart had drifted away, I asked for a divorce.
I told him I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. I didn't want our child to be born into a broken family from the very beginning.
Samuel groveled in front of me, pleading for another chance.
He said, "Emily, I don't have anyone else in this world. It's your dad, you, and this baby that hasn't been born yet. If you don't want me anymore, I'd rather die."
I knew Samuel always kept his promises.
So I gave him one last chance.
I believed him when he promised to let go and forget.
But I never would've thought he loved that girl so much that when he was barely conscious, the only thing on his mind was her phone number.
Yet he never bothered to remember my license plate.
My lower abdomen throbbed with pain, and my whole body felt cold, as if the blood in my veins had turned to ice.
After a while, the nurse came over and told me I could leave.
I was about to head home, only to realize I'd left my keys in Samuel's hospital room.
With my body still weak, I had no choice but to make my way back to his room.
To my surprise, Susan was already there.
She threw herself into Samuel's arms, crying her heart out. "Why would you keep something as huge as surgery from me? Why didn't you tell me? How long are you going to keep running from me?"
Samuel lifted his hand, letting it hover for a moment above her head.
Finally, with tenderness and affection, he rested his hand on her head. "Don't cry. See? I'm okay, aren't I?"
I felt like a thief, secretly spying on someone else's happiness.
From behind the door, I locked my gaze on Samuel, witnessing a tenderness in him I'd never seen before.
Susan suddenly lifted her head, that fierce, youthful stubbornness blazing in her eyes. "Samuel, I refuse to believe you don't love me.
"If you can look me in the eye and say you don't love me, I'll walk away right now and get out of your life for good."
Samuel's expression froze.
His eyes were clouded with pain and indecision, struggling with words he couldn't say.
Finally, he let out a heavy sigh. "Don't force me. You know you're in my heart."
"So what about your wife?" Susan shot back.
After hearing what she wanted, she couldn't let it drop. "Is it really like the rumors say? That you married her to repay a debt, and there's not a shred of real feeling for her?"
My heart tightened suddenly.
I couldn't believe I was still hoping he'd say something.
At that moment, Samuel suddenly lifted his head.
His eyes locked onto mine out of nowhere, catching me completely off guard.