Chapter 1

It was the third year of my secret relationship with Hadden Males when he announced his wedding to my half-sister, Jane Santiago.

My best friend, Priscilla Austin, worried I'd get hurt, so she spilled everything to Jane.

I thought Jane would hate me, but in the end, she put her life on the line to force Hadden to marry me.

For two years after the wedding, Hadden and I acted like a loving couple in front of Jane, but in reality, he treated me like a stranger.

Priscilla asked me once, "Is this really the life you want?"

I didn't say anything. Honestly, this wasn't what I wanted either, but I just couldn't let go.

Even if it meant wasting our whole lives together, Hadden was not getting away, not ever.

Then, in the third year, I got reckless and went street racing. Jane, trying to save me, plunged off a cliff.

Hadden completely lost it, shouting at me, "Why wasn't it you who died instead?"

He hated me for stealing Jane's life. From that moment on, he stopped coming home, spending every night lost in Erisia's wildest clubs and bars.

He flaunted a string of lovers who all looked disturbingly like Jane, and he didn't care when they came right up to me, mocking me, splashing red wine in my face; he just watched, cold and silent.

We kept tearing each other apart until all the love between us was gone. That was when it finally hit me—some people were simply irreplaceable, no matter what I did.

By the seventh year, regret finally caught up with me, and I asked for a divorce.

Next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and found myself back on the day Hadden announced his engagement to Jane.

*****

"Eleanor, are you out of your mind? Why did you just drag me off?" Priscilla snapped, her voice sharp and incredulous.

"You're really just going to let Hadden make a fool out of you? And with Jane, your own sister?" she shouted, her eyes blazing with outrage.

Priscilla yanked her hand out of mine, her eyes full of that fierce, disappointed fire.

I didn't say a word, just took a deep breath.

The first snow of Erisia drifted down silently, and that was when I finally realized I was back.

If I hadn't pulled Priscilla out of that party just now, everything from my previous life would've played out all over again. But luckily, I made it back in time.

Maybe it was my calm that made Priscilla pause. She pressed her lips together and asked, "Aren't you angry?

"Jane just snatched your boyfriend, and now they're getting engaged in two weeks," she said, her voice sharp with disbelief.

"Hadden's such a bastard. He kept you hidden for three years, and in the end, he wouldn't even make it official with you.

"And Jane, please, she totally knew you and Hadden were a thing," Priscilla said, her voice tight with anger.

The more she talked, the more she gritted her teeth, like she was ready to march over and rip Hadden's fake nice-guy act to shreds, just to make him pay for what he did to me.

I just quietly brushed the snowflakes off my shoulder, lost in thought.

Memories of my messy history with Hadden kept looping in my mind. I'd spent ten years tangled up with him in my previous life, and now three more in this one. It was not like I never tried to fight for us.

He was obsessed with Jane, so I went under the knife, changed my face, and reined in all my wild interests. I quit all the adrenaline stuff I used to love just to fit his idea of the perfect girl.

Jane was gentle and kind, so I tried to be softer, kinder, just like her.

Jane could cook like a dream, so I clung to her every day, begging her to teach me how to cook the kind of meals that would make a guy fall for me.

Everyone said I was becoming more and more like Jane, inside and out.

But Hadden just frowned and called me a cheap imitation, his words cutting me down and sending me straight to rock bottom.

It wasn't always like this between us.

Hadden used to kiss me so gently. Even though he never said a single sweet word, the way he looked at me, so tender, so intense, I just knew he loved me, that I was the only one for him.

Why else would he get so jealous whenever another guy was around me?

Why would he make me shower over and over if he caught even a hint of someone else's perfume on me, then mark me with his own scent, like he had to claim me all over again?

He was always watching me, never wanting me out of his sight. He wanted to know everything I did, every little detail.

If things were going well, he'd cheer me on. If I messed up, he'd always step in and clean up after me.

He shaped my dreams and rewrote who I was.

I never saw that he didn't really love me at all.

It took me a long time to finally get it.