Chapter 1

Larry and I had been together since high school, and we'd been married for almost ten years.

But in all those years, I'd never once heard him say, "I love you."

I'd joked about him never saying "I love you," and he'd always get a bit embarrassed.

He said, "It just feels silly. We've been together forever. You know how I feel for you."

I finally heard those three words.

His voice was magnetic, full of tender emotion, just as heart-stirring as I'd always imagined.

But he spoke another woman's name.

Later, when he looked at me with eyes that had turned red, desperately repeating "I love you" again and again, I turned my back on him and walked away without hesitation.

The next time we met was at my wedding.

He stood there and watched as another man took my hand, giving me the words Larry would never have the chance to say to me again, "I love you."

*****

When I found the heart-shaped handmade cards in the attic, I just froze for a second.

Where did these come from? Whose could they possibly be?

My daughter, Emily, was way too little to make cards herself.

And they definitely weren't mine, which meant the only person left was my husband, Larry Morrison.

I went to Larry and asked him about the heart-shaped cards. He didn't try to hide anything, just answered straight.

"Oh, they are from the new intern. I helped her out with something, so she bought me dinner and gave me these cards. She said they were for gratitude and good luck. I thought it was kinda fun."

As Larry told me, he had this little grin on his face.

It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart.

I remembered how, back in college, I'd pulled an all-nighter to make heart-shaped handmade cards for his birthday.

When I handed them to him, he looked at me and just frowned.

"Why spend so much time and effort on these? It's pointless," he said.

After we graduated, that pile of handmade cards was tossed out with all the other trash.

But now, he'd carefully tucked those heart-shaped handmade cards away in the attic himself.

I took a deep breath and tried to sound playful, swallowing my unease. "What kind of employee gives these as a present, anyway?"

Larry just shrugged it off.

"She's fresh out of college. She probably hasn't learned how grown-ups do things yet," he said.

His offhanded reply made it feel like my concerns were just silly overthinking, almost as if he were teasing me for caring too much.

Deep down, I just knew some things weren't the same anymore.

It turned out I was right.

Quietly but surely, the world around me was starting to change.

For example, the classical music he used to play in his car had been all about pop songs.

He was hardly ever home on time anymore. He always had some reason to stay late at work.

He'd actually show up after work, holding a glass of juice.

He used to hate that stuff.

"Someone kept going on about how good juice is for health. I figured I might as well give it a shot," Larry said, trying to play it cool with a grin.

"Who said that?" I looked up at Larry, curiosity and doubt flickering in my eyes.

"Oh, it's nobody, really, just that intern I told you about," he replied casually.

I just murmured a soft "mm," not bothering to say anything more.

Lately, I hadn't smelled any smoke on him at all.

Larry was always under pressure at work, and he couldn't get through a single day without lighting up more than a few cigarettes.

Not even my pregnancy was enough to make him kick the habit. When the urge hit, he'd just step out to the balcony on his own, trying not to bother anyone.

"When did you quit smoking?" I couldn't help blurting out.

"Just lately. Honestly, everyone at work was about to stage a rebellion if I didn't quit. They were tired of me stinking up the place," he joked.

"And you used to nag me about it too, so hey, you finally got your wish," Larry added with a teasing grin.

I stayed quiet, lowering my head as I tried to hide my feelings.

Yeah, sure, that was good.

But deep down, I knew he didn't quit smoking for me.

That night, I sat on the bed, just staring at the wedding photo of me and Larry, completely zoned out.

We were smiling so radiantly in the picture, almost like we didn't have a single worry in the world.

All those little moments between us started rushing back to me, one after another.

We were childhood sweethearts. It was like fate had planned for us to end up together right from the start.

I remembered how Larry used to walk me to school every morning and bring me back home every afternoon.

Whenever someone tried to mess with me at school, Larry would always step in, standing between me and the bullies like my own personal shield.

But honestly, when it came to romance, Larry was never good with sweet talk. He just wasn't that kind of guy.

Even on our wedding day, all he did was blush and quietly say to me, "I'll be good to you, always."

He kept his word. After marriage, he worked hard, putting everything into making sure our life was stable and secure.

But everything felt like a poke to my heart, these little things cutting deeper than I'd ever expected.

I couldn't tell whether Larry was with me out of routine and responsibility, or out of love.

Larry stepped out of the bathroom, noticed the way I was staring at the wedding photo, and smiled at me.

"What are you thinking about? You look so spaced out," he asked.

I paused for a second, locking eyes with him, unsure of how to begin.

I just wanted to give us another shot.

"If you're not swamped at work lately, how about we take Emily on a little trip?" I said, trying to sound cheerful.

Larry caught the hopeful, almost begging look on my face, and even though part of him wanted to refuse, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He nodded without even thinking.

Larry actually took a whole week off work. And that rarely happened before.

We took a trip together to Brostville.

We'd always dreamed about going there when we were still in school.

Back then, we didn't have the cash. And for the time, it was time that we always seemed to be short on.

Emily was darting across the beach, her laughter echoing in the salty air.

Larry slid his arm over my shoulder, speaking in that gentle tone of his, "It's been so long since we all got to come out together and just unwind. Feels really nice.

"How about we swing by Shine Beach in a couple of days? I remember back in school, you saw one movie and kept bringing it up. I swear, you talked about for ages..."